WilloWishesLess

May 2 2011

2011-05-02T19:45:00.000+02:00

Still here? Heck yes!

Though it feels like an engine attempting to kick start, coughing, huffing, puffing. Now granted, it never stalled. I promise, just a matter of motor running and going an unexpected way, disappearing from the radar, even my own radar. And wondering at times what the blue blazes am I doing here?

I don't and didn't know. What do I know now?

Feeling sorry for myself? Yes.
Feeling angry with myself? Yes.
Feeling disappointed with myself? Yes.
Looking for answers? Yes.
Given up? ALMOST, really ........almost. There have been times in the past weeks & months I wondered, why even try? Why not quit? Just dont pay attention to where am I going, what am I doing, just riding the wave?

But know what? That will not do. It means I accept that we are like a rubber dingy on the sea of life, a dingy without oars or paddles that is. And I know that is not true, is not me! Right at this moment I feel like I have found the paddles again. And even though I know there has been a time when I was not just using paddles, but had even crafted myself a strong sturdy out board motor and was going places, right now I am using paddles. And boy is it hard. Every single day I lose them, not just once but three or four times, and I take a deep breath and just try to cope with disappointing myself again.

On a lighter note:

I have this week off YAY, just to enjoy, to be me, and work on me. No miracles mind you. No kilos and ounces, just focussing. Additionally I have been giving this webpage a lot of thought. I am dutch based and this website is in english, do I really want that? Don't know yet.

Any how....I want to put a link here which is Dutch. It is a recipe, vegitarian, oriental. I have applied for the free digital recipe book "Milk & Honey". I might make this one day soon. If any one is interested, I will translate the recipe once I have it, or order it yourself: Melk & Honing gratis receptenboek

Spinach an treacle with a deep fried egg and potato cream

What is in store for today, well what is left of the day?

Well food this morning, and for lunch is shambles, I admit it. But for diner I will have rice, with stirfried mushrooms, prawns and crab meat, and a glass of cold water.

Tomorrow, I will get up and after morning tea and some breakfast, I will head for the gym, and enjoy some work out with a good friend. I am aiming for a work out every day, however short. will report if it works out.

Have a great monday!

April 1

2011-04-01T08:14:00.001+02:00

Yesterday: I started out fine, counting points and all. had yoghurt during the morning and for lunch, some cookies for in between, but not much. Had smoothie which gave me a lot of fruit.

evening is what I woud call dodgy had a premade pasta dish where you just add hot water wait thill the pasta and herbs soak well, and just eat. had some prawn crisps with that. point wise...... no idea.

But I have a start....of sorts

March 31st - 157,5 - 347.2

2011-03-31T07:58:00.000+02:00

March 31st - 157,5 - 347.2

A few words, strange how easy it looks and yet how hard it is. Because it spells the simple truth. I have lost ground, so much ground that I find it hard to stand. But it is there in digital print, I have gained weight, have been struggling for a year now.

But the process did not stop. Why? I was asked the question, if you let go now..... then what. And I did not know an answer. Or at last not an answer I liked. SO I go on.

Last two weeks I lost 2.8 kg - 6.1 lbs.
My goal is to reach 150 kg - 330.6 lbs
Timeline: None
Method: live sanely, soundly, healthy, and BLOG

I have been thinking about just usuing my old blogs where I used to print out all I would eat in a day

This is my entry for June 5 2007 (old system of weight watchers) - I will not follow it to the letter, but will use it as a reminder. I invite you to come back, and take a peak at it again. It reninded me of the smoothies I used to have! This morning I will run past the shops and get fruit and yoghurt.

Smoothies
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 p - 3 dl. dubbelfris light
0,0 p - 50 gr. raspberries
0,0 p - 50 gr. strawberries

Breakfast
5,5 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 p - 2 slices rye bread
1,0 p - 20 gram salami (WW)
2,0 p - 20 gr. goatscheese
0,5 p - 15 gr. linera margerine 25%

Lunch
4,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 p - 2 slices rye bread
3,0 p - 3 cs margarine
0,0 p - 200 gr. mushrooms
0,0 p - 2 tomatoes/lettuce

Diner
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
Large green salad
5,0 p - 60 gr. goatscheese
1,0 p - 50 gr. boiled potatoes
1,0 p - 1 cs yoghonaise

Diversen
4,0 points
-------------------------------------
4,0 p - 4 chocolate truffels
0,0 p - 0,5 l. Coca Cola zero
-------------------------------------
6 glazen water, 3 vetables - 2 fruit, 2 fat, 2 calcium
-------------------------------------

Giving up...

2010-07-29T10:26:00.000+02:00

I am so close to giving up..in fact have I not given up already? I have gained a lot of weight, and am struggling to even see the road. There are however some small anchors still keeping me semi grounded to the cause. What makes me sad most of all, is not the gained weight, let's face it I am used to it. But moreso the fact that I really believed I could change my life, my ways, only to learn that I may be able to it, but have in fact NOT.

The small anchors- both positive and negative?

still going to weight watchers. Not every week, but I am still going.
friends who keep being in terested
remembering how good it felt to lug around less weight
having thrown away all clothes way too big for me, noticing the clothes I have now are ill fitting, and in fact some do not fit anymore!
being healthy is important to me.
Looking "fat" again, and I do not want that!
still working out, less but still 4-5 times a week

Yesterday I went to weight watchers for the first time in 4 weeks . I had LOST 0.5 lb. Not much at all, but the important fact was I HAD lost weight,and had not been to a weigh in for 4 weeks; because believe me I can gain 15 lbs in such a period, and have in fact done so.

SO, in short I am on the cross road.....to keep going and view this as a learbing curve, or just stop and work to accept the fact that I am a product of my childhood and past, and cannot change.

This is in fact a cry for help........

Motivation and discipline

2010-03-11T06:22:00.000+01:00

Lost........and having trouble finding it again.

I feel like a person lost in a strange land. I am in that place where I feel ike I am blind, quite alone and dismal. I am on a little by road which is hard to traverse, uneven, muddy and wholly unpleasant to be on. So from time to time I rush into the many places alongside it which offer consollation for the weary traveller, and buy masses of comfort food. Which I find I try to eat all at once, in that moment finding solace. Only to feel worse once I have eaten the lot.

I have not blogged in a while, and what I had dreaded, the end of the year blues, slump, detour, horror, has indeed happened to me. I am struggling to get out again. I have gained so much weight again that it is ridiculous. I now weigh 146.3 kg/322.6 lbs

For weeks I have been avoiding the numbers. Seeing them printed is not a good thing, but at least gives me a place to start again. Having said that, I still am 25.9kg/57 lb less than I was when I started in may 2007. This blog post is a way to rearrange my thoughts, get past this feeling of being a total failure, and accept that I am just human and not some kind of "weight"machine, faulty or non faulty.

A way to set out the parameters again, to regain my drive, my will power, my UMPF!

1.   Go to the gym every morning -a total of 5 times minimum-
- go in the morning, or else my work will make it impossible to go, afternoons just don't work out -
  - at least twice power training, twice cardio training, all else is optional.
2.   eat healthy
3.   drink 2 liters of water a day, eat fruit
4.   write down all points, active points
5.   cut down on sugary stuff.
6.   get at least 6 hrs of sleep, 8 is better (weekend are good to get 8 hrs of sleep)
7. do my shopping in time, so I never have an excuse to stray
8. plan my meals for the day
9. when at home cook every evening

BUT MOST OF ALL:

10. be positive, be positive, be positive, be positive
This monring I have slept 6 hrs, just finished my porridge, worth 8 points, have water beside me, and finished two satsuma's munching on an apple.

I was reading my last post before this one. The lat lines and thatb was some 4 months ago were : I AM SO incredibly, unbelievably, undeniably HAPPY. Does that mean I am unhappy now. No, it does not. My job is going well, my friends, my family all is going well. Let;s just say I am disatisfied, slightly disappointed, and find it hard to call out for help. In these momenst I find I cannot reach out and accept help. SO once again I make it hard on myself and force myself to do it all alone.

Weird, isn't it. Well, it is not completely true, I did share all of this with one person. Tears, self incriminations. I talked about it with best friends, my WW coach, and decided posting here is step one. From ther on off it will be all uphill and going strong again.

I CAN

I WILL

I WANT TO

962 WW & 506 FF - Let us snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2009-12-20T20:43:00.007+01:00

It has been 49 days ago......ergo, I blog very infrequent. I am aware of it. And yet in my lif nowadays I blog when I feel like it, when I need to, when I wish to share something. It is still part of my routine to reach a healthier weight, but moreso than that it starts to be a way of telling you about my life. Because every single day it amazes me how it changes, has changed.

For instance thursday last. I had a day off. SO I left at 9 AM for the gym. Did one hour of swimming, which included 16 laps of breast crawl, with no stopping in between, just turning. I have been building up stamina to do so gradually. 2 months ago I only did breast stroke, then I started to alternate. And have been building it up ever since. The result is that I can do 16 laps of breast crawl within the fat burning zone. My heart beat is around 117 bpm. And afterwards I am nice and tired, but not too beat to cyccle home for 30 minutes. 2.5 years ago walking for 20 minutes was so tiring I had to rest afterwards.

Granted, walking still is not my favorite excercise, I like cycling better. But I have started to walk on the tredmill for 30 minutes or so about 3 times a week, so I am working on that as well. Am now up to 3.5 miles an hour, sometimes with am maximum incline. I sneak in a 60 to 90 second jog now and then, eventhough my personal trainer says I should not. My knees will suffer if I do it too much. Still too much weight on them. Next year when the weight is down even more I wish to have this talk out with her again, as I really would like to jog, or try to jog.

I was reminising, thinking about what was, what has changed, but additionally also where I want to go. I am as of today officially midway.

Goals:

Weigh less than 130 kg/286.6 lbs by christmas 2009
That means that I have to shed 6.4 lbs since my last weigh in on 16th december! A challenge, especially in this christmas season. But I won't back away from this challenge.
Make it below 40 BMI
As of last week I have a BMI of 39.7. I am now no longer Morbidly obese! That is a BIG milestone for me. -grins- Pardon the pun! I lost 12 BMI points.

Bench mark 4. 277.7 lbs - 126.0 kg
No time set then, but now I will! January 31st 2010

Yesterday I was also informed that my security screening for my new job has been cleared. Good news! After 2 months I can honestly say, it is hard work, but challenging, and very interesting to see politics and the way a country is governed this close up. It has been the reason I have been blogging less and less. I will try and blog more frequent. I expect as days, weeks, months pass it will be easier to juggle all balls I am trying to keep up in the air more easily: work, fitness, social enjoyment/obligations, blogging, roleplay and sleep. The past two months I noticed some have been suffering, especially sleep, blogging and even my fitness routine...........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I best blog this now. I am at a friends place, getting stuck in the middle of my country, with no plausible way to get home. There is a HUGE blizzard which has been raging the country for a day and a half now. Will blog again soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

PS: it is now monday evening 9 PM, after 5 hours of travelling I made it home. Thank God. But I do believe that the window of opportunity to travel home was a small one.; fortunately I made it. My own luscious warm home feels so good. A very special thanks to MARK, my saviour, my wonderful friend who offered me a place to stay when I thought I had no place to go but sleep on a cold drafty rail way station along with hundreds of other people. Instead I slept in a warm bed, feeling safe and secure.

Me in the snow

Just before my attempt today to get home!

Boy, was I glad I decided to put on boots and socks, I NEVER wear socks,

when I travelled to a friend on Saturday!

My feet are still defrosting as I write......

------- * * * * -------

Impressions of a snow covered Netherlands

public transport came to an all out grinding halt on sunday 20th,

and most of monday 21st

trains could not go because of frozen tracks

Trams had trouble with the snow drifts and snow covered tracks

The roads were impossible to travel for anyone with half a intelligent mind,

it was too dangerous

And cycling was...........hazardous to say the least

The famous Kinderdijk, covered in snow

904 WW & 464 FF - Happy, just happy

2009-11-01T13:10:00.002+01:00

Something to share....

This morning I went to fitness, did my usual, an hour of good clean work out, Nothing too strenuous, nothing too special. I worked up some decent sweat, sat in the steamroom, always a treat to my skin. Then showering, using my usual body oils, perfume, little make up, dressed casual, a jeans skirt, white t-shirt, tartan print tennis shoes. I took care of some small things afterwards, which meant I had to cycle to some places. Autumn was all around me, her cold crisp golden colored promises heavy in the air. Now and then a droplet of forboding rain grazed my face. I cycled home, the whole proces took about three hours in total, I left at 9 AM, and came home some time after midday.

As I was close to my home, listening to celtic music on my MP3 player, it suddenly hit me like a tidal wave, strong, vibrant, like vivid colors all round me, in me, with me, causing my skin tingle, my face supporting a the smile bright, brilliant, a smile I could not stop, it had to escape, show itself, fed by my heart, my soul. There, then, with the wind in my face, my feet and legs working to take me home, moving the pedals of my bicycle, for no special reason, not one special reason, I was happier than I have ever been in my life.

I marked the time on my watch: at 12.38, November 1, 2009 I realised I was truly a happy, healthy, fortunate woman. And as I felt that way I extended that feeling, and as I did I realised that within the cosmos there is this small speck of a sphere which we call Earth, enveloped in a layer of gasses, which we call air. On it there is an abundance of creatures, both flaura and fauna, which try to co exist, and one of the species is mankind, and one of that species is me. And I was, am truly, deeply, unrefutebly HAPPY.

And so this blog is not just, or only about losing weight. It is about me, my journey to grow, and excell, to be more, better, stronger than I was. And the miracle is, that I AM. And that I am the one doing it, I am the one facilitating my own happiness. My choices, my efforts, my emotions.

I AM SO incredibly, unbelievably, undeniably HAPPY

885 WW & 435 FF - A weekend without..........

2009-10-03T11:06:00.003+02:00

Saturday 3rd October, a day without going to the gym! Yes, they DO exist! And I feel just a smidge guilty. I spent some quality time talking to a friend on the phone, and then just......decided not to go. I have a dinner guest this afternoon. Still have to pick the menu, and clean up my house just a tad. It is not that bad.

Main focus will be shopping and cooking. Oh yes, and putting light bulbs in the lighting of my room. ALL are broken, and so no electric light. Not that I use much of it anyways. I just adore candles (puts them on my list).

This weekend will be a slow all about me weekend. The week has been hectic, manic, and fantastic. New job, lots of people I talked to. Planned a short trip to Ireland, where I will meet my brother and his wife, a very dear friend and some one I know on line, and we will have coffee and meet face to face. That will be nice.

I try to do that more and more; change on line contacts/friends into full fledged contacts and friends. It is a great pleasure usually. Been trying to find an old friend who I used to know when she lived in Amsterdam. So if any one know Gini Visser, by all means contact me! Been trying to find the lady for some years now.

OK, what else.............? Well, nothing really. Oh yes, will have to buy a card for my weightwatchers coach and my nephew. The first has a neck hernia, the second a birthday (adds that to the list as well)

Sunday 4th October, ANOTHER day without gym? HELP! -grins- I am doing just grand, though I celebrated my new job with white port, chocolate and some male attention (....... *fill in the dots yourself*). I saw my guest off at a little after Mid day and then went floating with a friend.

Floating, to just float, seemingly weightless in salt water basin of your own; a small cabin where the temperature is equal to your body temp, there is no light, and far as possible, no sound. Just your own heart beat and breathing. It has been a year ago since the last time I did it. Did it feel different. Not really, but for one thing, I was too active to stay in the water longer than 25 minutes, so the remainder of the session I had a royal POWER shower, and waited for Fred. It was his first time floating. But as he said "not for him". He finds it impossible to relax enough. Now granted if he would wish to, he could learn to relax like that. But he does not want to.

We had coffee at my place, and when he left I did my own thing until I went to bed. Oh yes, I tried some zumba moves, still having trouble with the que ve meuve, or whatever it is called. I am fine with the diamond step, and the meringue march though!

Went to bed early, and when ~I woke I decided to wear my brand new chocolate brown suit. Me in a suit - power dressed for the occasion. I had to shorten the trousers and will have to take in the waist at the back just a little. My derriere is not big enough any more. And as such I note that I am disproportionally shaped; to accommodate my belly and stomach I need 1 or 2 sizes bigger in trousers. However there is too much material which lovingly encases my arse! That or it is too small! Same with jackets, when they fit around my waist, I do not have enough chest material to fill up the rest of the jacket -grins- BUT if that is the worst of my problems, I am a happy bunny! I'll just nip and tuck at the material, same as I nip and tuck at my biological material. I will ask Fred to make a photograph!

Active-person-re-creating-her-life!

Went to the gym and worked hard, very hard. had fun, so much fun sweating my buns off. I find myself moving into an involuntary jog at times. Just because I am having so much fun. My walking speed is so fast that I might just as well jog. I mean at 3.5 mls/hr is is easier to jog than to walk. Now I don't make it past 1 minute at a time but, I do make it!

Now Sayre, now there is a woman I admire! My wonderful blog friend Sayre featured my end of years resolution in her own blog on Monday 21st September: http://becauseimfat.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-want-for-christmas.html. I am honored, chuffed, grinning from ear to ear that she did. In it she quotes my goal for Christmas 2009 which is 120kg/264.5 lbs.

And I am still hard at work to make it. This week I will be reassessing that aim and I feel I will have to readjust it to 125 kg/275 lbs. I am moving slow these [past few weeks, and so busy socially that I am having trouble keeping on the straight and narrow. mind you the path is still narrow, but not all together too straight.

Have a nice day you all, and to those who need it, an extra warm and energizing hug.

882 WW & 437 FF - The Day After, and perservering (a few days later than that due to slow posting)

2009-10-01T17:32:00.000+02:00

The day after WHAT, I can hear you ask?

Well the day after I heard I have been selected, for a job which I consider to the crown on my career, an interesting and challenging job. I was extremely nervous, and had been anxiously awaiting the results from my interview, when I received a phone call. I picked up too late, got a voice mail and had to redial 4 times as I dialed the wrong number 3 times. Finally I spoke to a lady I did not know, the replacement of the one I did know who was on a holiday. Her initial approach to me did not make me very feel very succesful. But to make along story sort, after one additional question, she informed me I had the job.

I am a very controlled and structured person, which means I do not jump around for joy. And boy is that a handicap. Inside there was this burst of energy, a smile a mile wide, and outwardly there was little to show for it. I shared embraces with some of my colleagues, but still now, up to now 3 days later, it is still very ..........unreal. I have informed family, friends, work associates, and all are happy for me, wish me luck, tell me how they feel it is the job for me.

Know what?

My process of "health watching", life changing, weight changing, perspective changing has led me to this, because the job I have applied for is not something I would have applied for 288 days - 126 weeks ago - 29 months ago. I am a stronger, more defined, self aware person, highly aware of my qualities, my weaknesses. Strong enough to face both, to exploit both to the maximum. And so I know that I CAN do this. Every day my strength, perseverance, and stamina amaze me. It is not just a phase I am going through, but a different life, a different me. And I am genuinely proud of myself.

Still .........

there are days I wonder how in the world will keep going, because I won't be finished in a week, a month, even a few months. It makes me, in a way, sad at times that there is no one, just for me, to share this with. Having said that I am never lonely, and rarely experience the sense of being alone. I have great and wonderful friends, wonderful colleagues, a family I can turn to when I wish. And this life changing process is easier on my own, I have no one to explain myself to, or even answer to. No battles over food items I would not wish to have in the house, or complaints about spending as much time at the gym as I do. I have seen too many try and succumb to the lure of loving partners who say enough is enough, or simply demand to finally have a normal meal, or a decent bag of crisps in the house.

At present in my life there is no room for any one else but myself. Changes like the one I am undergoing demand time, so much time, demand energy, so much energy, demand attention, so much attention. There would be nothing left for any one else. At this moment in time, dividing my time, effort and attention between me and another on a daily basis would be detrimental to my perseverance. I am sure of that. And so as I have said before EGOISM is a big part of the change in me. The one thing I have to guard against is for the egoism, healthy as it is right now, to take on proportions which drive away precious friends. But I am sure they will warn me in time...............right, guys and gals?

And thus for now persevering does mean being egoistic, joyfully, gracefully egoistic. I like that phrasing:

Willow
excels at

graceful egoism

Now for the humdrum: no weigh in this Wednesday. I had a dinner do, with opera with the office colleagues, so ou will have to wait for next week. But going well, doing well I think. Time will tell. Exercise wise, I am on fire. I drive myself harder, deeper, stronger, faster every day!

Last Sunday I purposely chose not to work out, giving myself a day of rest, just like the good Lord did! Creation is a tiring business and in a way I am creating myself all over again.

Anyways, have a great week, a great day, and remember you ARE the most important person in the world, for without you there is no "your world".

877 WW & 432 FF - Murder, bloody MURDER!

2009-09-26T11:19:00.000+02:00

There should be a law against people like Nanda!

Or at the very least a law against the torment she puts people through in personal training. I mean it gets to be ridiculous when muscles ache I did not know I had, er even needed! -grins- on the inside of my leg, where the leg joins the body, there are muscles. Really there are, and they hurt! -points at Nanda- Her doing, drinving me to it!

yesterday I had a very important interview, so "sensitive" I will not even write down what it is untill I am certain I get the job. I am one of two candidates so keep your fingers crossed. Anyways, after the Interview, I was really worked up, I could feel the stress levels simmering in me, and as I had a personal training about 3.5 hour later and the gym was practically next door, I decided to go work out.

Of course I had forgotten, or rather chosen, to leave my swimming gear at home, so.......... I HAD to do the cardio and muscle thing. Swimming always seems so much easire. Problem, or rather challenge, was, I am still on the mend of a HUGE blister on my left heel. SO Making sure my shoes were secure and tight, not allowing the shoe to move even a fraction and start it all up again, I did some power walking, muscle machines, and rowing.

First time I did rowing, as I have always been anxious about my belly being in the way. But it was OK, not too bad at all. Not sure I actually like the excercise, but as it is an all round excercise, using many major muscle groups, I am sure I will be making it a part of my regular routine anyhow!

Then after 2 hours, I did rest some in between, of my own personal torture, I had my own personal coach torture me. Some really high impact excercises, involving my stamina as well. In short, by the end of the session I could not even perform the last exercise very well. Not enough umph left to keep my abdominals contracted, and as a result I could not keep my balance.

Today, I am planning to go to the gym in about an hour or so, and will be designing my own 4 sets of exercises. After about 25 personal trainings I kn ow I can make a set of excercises myself. Will be showing them to Nanda. SO she can decide on the wisdom of them, and the combination of them. An interesting new phase, me as my own personal trainer.

1. squat with 55 lbs/25 kg on shoulders, top of my back, lunge and squat alternately - legs, ?? 2 x 10, 2 x 5
2. kneel at resistance wall, high hand helds, pull waights down while kneeling - shoulders, upper back, abdomen 1 x 15, 2 x 10
3. lay down on step, with dumbell and pully weight - training, biceps, triceps 2 x 10, 1 x 5
4. sit on front of bose ball, 4 crunches, keeping only one foot on the ground, then pick up wightball (about 20 lbs) come to a full stand. abdimon, back, legs, arms 4 sets
5. resistance wall, lower hand holds, lunge step out, point

Oh as for weight? - makes a sad puppy eyes face- I GAINED 2 lbs. But know why, way too much partying and eating out! Will make up for it, I always do! GYM time now, I will report back.

870 WW & 426 FF - 200 Plus Baby (day count adjusted) - WIllow's a 200 BABY!

2009-09-19T20:40:00.011+02:00

It is official, yesterday I was weighed at 135.6 kg/298.9 lbs.

I am no longer a 300 Lady, I am a 200 Baby!

So...................Remember this post?

Challenge 2009

"I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it means I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bit too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!"

I am actually behind schedule: I have now lost 4.4 kg/ 9.7 lbs. This means I am 2.6 kg/5.7 lbs behind schedule! I will rethink my efforts in 3 weeks and may re adjust the end total if need be!

Looking back, counting my blessings again

The last 10 months has been a difficult period. I gained 20 kg/45 lbs (where my total weightloss was once 32.8 kg/72.3 lbs) over a period of 10 months, setting the achieved weightloss back with 60%! And then decided I would not let it happen and lost it all again!

May this year was a special month for me, I visited a man who has been my friend on line for 10 years, and for 13 days I was in heaven, very selfishly, extremely selfishly, only thinking of me, of what I needed, what I wanted. My friend was there to cater to my every need. It made me realise that I AM SPECIAL. Made me realise how special HE is. And so renewed my self esteem batteries. When I travelled back home by plane for 17 hours, I had so much time to think. I painted the full picture. For the past 10 months I may have become an athlete of sorts, going to the gym as much as 4 times a week, but I had greatly neglected my health eating regime, geared to loosing weight. Just the gym was not enough, weight watchers, and a personal trainer were needed. And so I did both, I went to the weekly Weight Watchers meetings again, and found myself a personal trainer, Nanda.

I lost all the weight I gained, and by now a little more even, 8 kg/17 lbs. It is inn essencenot all that much.BUT, have a loook at my measurements!! Most of my weight is around my belly, my arms legs, upper body are by no means proportionally as big as my stomach. Compare the second and the third set of measurements. And you will see I lost 10 cm./4 inches MORE off my waist and hips.

It means that eventhough the weight last year august and this year august is almost identical, my measurements are not; it means I have considerable less fat!! I did not just lose 20 kg/45 lbs as I did the year before as well, but I lost it in a different way. May waist and hips have gone down! YES!!

Below is a comparison between May 3, 2007, August 9, 2008, and September 19, 2009. The first period was my Weight Watchers period, minding my food intake loosing weight that way, and a careful start with Fitness; the second was my Fitness First period, trying to shape my body by being an active sportive woman, however losing track of my weight loss efforst, only to veer back on track again in the last 4 months.

---------_--- -2007-2008-2009------------------------

\
Weight-- _________---380.9 lbs. ___315.7 lbs (17.0%)-____ 298.9 lbs (21.6%)

Desired w.loss_ _____ 184.3 lbs______64.8 lbs (35.1%)______ 82.0 lbs (44.5%)

Upper arm___ ___ 16.1 inch____ _14.2 inch (12.1%) ___ __14.2 inch (14.6%)
Waist_______ ____ 59.1 inch._____54.3 inch (8.0 %)VV __V50.4 inch (14.6%)

Hips ---------- ____ 66.9 inch______61.4 inch (8.2%)_______57.9 inch (13,5%)

Right thigh_________ 29.9 inch__ ___27.2 inch (9.0 %)__ _ _ 27.2 inch (9.0%)

And me in photographs

4.6 kg/10.6 lbs to go, to have lost 50% of the desired total!

835 WW & 383 FF & C25K 1.1 - first day C25K challenge

2009-08-19T01:40:00.001+02:00

Week from Hell

Ok be prepared for something like a whine. I am not eating well, not drinking well, not sleeping well. I miss talking to my special one and I am working way to hard. BUT having said that I am not doing half bad.

Not drinking well: I am struggling to make my two liters. Why? Because I do not fill my bottle every morning when I am at work. BAD Willow!
Not eating well: I skip breakfasts, and thus start the day really really wrong. Why? Have had no real time for groceries. BAD Willow!
Not sleeping well: Take work home, finding there are not enough hours in a work day, and then end up sleeping less hours Why? Have my priorities all screwed up. Health comes first, Sanity too, work fifth............sixth even! BAD Willow.
Don't talk to my special one: I just cannot find a time that hea stime to spend with me. Why? Timezone problems! ~makes puppey dog eyes~just one of them there things I cannot change.
Working way to hard: take work home, feeling things should be finished, feeling deadlines breathing down my neck. Why? Because things have not been organised well, and frankly, the team I work in is not a team! BAD Willow...........erm.....no.

So summarising the solution:

Fill my bottle of water in the morning
Go grocery shopping, and lay of the easy, nearly pointless sweet cookies!
Find time to spend with Mr. wonderful, priority........four, after food, drink and sleep
sleep at least 6 hours, preferably 7.
Take no more work home!

Ok, problems detected, and solutions found. Now........live up to them!!!

C25K week one, day one

I did 5 minutes at 5.5 km/hr, then the remaining 15 minutes alternately at 5.5 km/hr jog, and 4.5 km/hr power walk. I was alittle scared actually running on the treadmill,, so first try I held on to the handles, second try I tried without, sort of half half the remaining 4 I did without any support. And I did it. Odd thing, though I sweated like an otter, It did not challenge me to the max.

I know now I will have to do this first one again as I did 15 minutes alternating. It should have been 20 minutes. Silly Willow!

Though I was very hot after, and my legs were like lead. I managed only 5 mins on the cross trainer. And as it was nearly 09:15 PM before I was finished and my body desperately needed some sauna and steamroom TLC, I just relaxed for about 45 mins, and went home.

Oh and another thing I noticed. I have been taking these hot and cold (really cold) alternating power showers, each lasts 20 seconds, and I can feel myself loving the cold one. I don't know why, but I actually enjoy the cold more than the hot ones.

All in all it is late again, and I should be in bed, because at this rate I will manage just under 5 hours of sleep!! BAD Willow. Oh yes and tomorrow is weigh in day again. I am aiming for 2.2 lbs/1 kg, but I have grave doubts!

Subtitles to my post titles

What does uit all means? 835 WW & 383 FF & C25K 1.1

835 WW = 835 days of WeightWatchers
383 FF = 383 days if Fitness First (the gym) - 150 odd vistis by now
C25K 1.1 = Couch to 5 KM jogging challenge week one day one

-grins- the girl behind the front desk just matter of factly said. See you tomorrow. And I thought "WOW, they have noticed. I am an every day gym girl!"

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

Want to understand hat C25K is all about? Read THIS
Have a great week. hope it is not too warm! will be checking up on all those familiar blogs again soon!

831 WW & 379 FF - Following FLG's blog

2009-08-14T15:48:00.002+02:00

A Jogging Challenge. - Saints preserve us!

I read up on many blogs, and one of the in FLG's blog. he kept on talking about a C25K challenge, and dilligently I kept reading about it. And frankly I had no idea what it was. So, I decided to look it up, and it the Couch to 5 Kilometres running plan. As I was reading through a page explaining it, I noticed myself getting more and more exited.

You know what, I think I can do this. For 8 weeks in a row you follow a sort of training programme. If you fail to finish a week, no problem. You just repeat the week untill you can do it. The end result is being able to jog 5 km/3 mls!

Week one
On three seperate days, preferably allowing one day of recuperation the following jogging/walking schedule: Brisk five-minute warm up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

There is even a lady who has made podcasts to make it easier. The music will guide you on. It will be interesting to see if all my working at the gym has resulted in some stamina. Will let you know!

830 WW & 378 FF - Weigh in

2009-08-13T21:52:00.006+02:00

Personal training and weigh in

I believe in before and afters. I have become brave enough to show me, the old me, the new me, the ME me.

The left photograph was taken two days ago 12 august 2009, the other was taken about 5 years ago, may be 6 years ago. No idea what I weighed but it was...........massive.

This is what I work for so hard, so dilligently. It is not just losing weight. It really ia not. It is also about gaining confidence, gaining serenity, peace of mind and soul.

Hard work, but worth every minute I spend to achieve it.

Yesterday my personal trainer Nanda was having a ball. She drove me hard. sweat was pouring down my face, my back, even my lower arms. It still amazes me to see beads of persperation on me, "Miss lazy extra ordinaire", "Miss couch potato", "Miss I am not going to budge from my bed", "Miss sports? Please get away from me".

As for Nanda driving me hard? I noticed she especially focussed on stamina and upper legs, tri and biceps. In the process she also demanded much of sense my balance. She had me do an exercise I could not do well when I tried it about 12 weeks ago. With a weight of 11 lbs in each hand make big steps, making sure to bring the weights close to the floor, the knee of the front leg above the foot, the back leg supported just on your toes, so in essence a squat, then take a step, without support step in the middle, doing the same with the other leg. Each time keep the weights down for 2 seconds before taking the new step. About 15 steps one way, 15 steps back. I hope you people understand what I mean, describing these things somewhat intelligently is hard.

Other exrcises involved arms and again upper legs, quads, abdominals. In short I felt good but dead tired when I stopped. I had done 50 laps (about 1 km/0.6 ml) in the morning, so when it came to the cross trainer I was really beat. I made it for about 7 mins, then caved in and just went to the locker room. I enjoyed jusT sitting and relaxing before I set off to the weight watchers.

AND The grand total for this week is............tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........................
2.2 kg/4.9 lbs

Which means I am ahead of target by 1.2 kg/2.7 lbs! Week ONE is done!!

This morning when I came to the office one of my colleagues had left an envelop on my desk, in it was a very nice incentive, a token of her support; a gift certificate to buy something nice for myself at a perfume shop! And for a moment she brought me to tears. I did not know what to say. How special it is to have people who are willing to support me, cheer me on. It humbles me to know that what I am doing, a very egocentric thing, which at times meakes me choose for me above the people around me, still makes people wish to be as ssupportive as they are.

free translation:

"Willowisheslessline present....going strong, keep it up!"

Because believe, I know loosing weight, getting healthier is in a way a very ego centric process. Unafraid to put myself at the centre of my universe very often. To choose for me-time, me-food, me-activities. And you know what, I think it is/was actually the heart of many of the problems I have faced, not just weight ones. To look out for number one, ME, was never my strong suit. But I can tell you that has changed.

So, without further ado, all my friends, family, neighbours, colleagues

THANK YOU ALL!

828 WW & 376 FF - Compliments, and hard work

2009-08-12T10:41:00.004+02:00

Going strong, on target - weigh in wednesday

I weigh myself quite frequently. Something I vowed I would not a two years ago. And yet I find I need it. In the morning after fitness I weigh myself. Why? Well if I am doing well, it will help me to stay focused. If I am slipping it will help me to get focussed and slide any further. Both have the same result, to know where I am going, and why I am doing all this. Any views on this, post them in a coment I would love to know your views on this.

I was talking to one of my colleagues who has been dieting most of her life. Why? Well reasons for following a diet are usually highly personal. I mean that not every one may agree with your reasons. My colleague could be argued to not need to loose the lbs. She always looks wonderful, well dressed, hair done to perfection, lovely make up, accessoiries to match. However it is not about what we think, it is what she thinks and feels!

But that was not what I wished to discuss. We got to talking about loosing weight, and how the loss of the same amount of lbs was acclaimed and praised by every one around me, but that same weightloss was not even noticed when she lost it. Which means that the effort, dedication and perseverence were noticed in my case but not in hers. In which case I feel it is so much more commendable for her to achieve it than it was for me, for despite voices telling her she need not loose the weight, despite very few people cheering her on, she DID DO IT.

My olleague has chosen a different way of loosing weight. She follows a programme of powders which can be transformed into muesli, omelets, dough for a small bun, potato mash. These items of course also contain minerals, vitains and various other nutrients. With it she is allowed to eat lots and lots of vegetables, but no fruit, sugar or fat. Granted it would not do me, I would go nuts. Her daily intake is not more than 500 kcal. I am amazed that she can actually make it work, I would faint after 2 day!!

But the core of the discussion was this: losing weight is hard, dedicated and seemingly endless task . It is not a process where you can take time out, relax. Praise, smiles cheering and interest in the process DOES help. I should know because all the comments I get sure keep me motivated!

Anyways, today is personal training day again. This morning I swam 50 laps , and will try to do another 50 after my training. Weigh in is today as well. I will let you all know. Justifiably so I should be punished because I sort of binged on ice cream yesterday! It was sooooooooooo good, but having said that I feel bad now and wonder why it is I could not stick to just one or two scoops.

Photograph for August will follow soon, but when Fred tried to take one last night I looked horrible. I looked tired, fat and well.........not me. I will also post a "just after working"out photograph soon. I saw it in FLG's blog and was determined to do so myself. I know I look like...........bleagh, but it is an honest recount of the hard, dedicated and seemingly endless task I have taken on!

My Charms

I don't know ho many of you remember my Pandora charm bracelet. It helped me along the first year and a half. Every 3.5 kg/7.7 lbs weightloss I was allowed to buy a charm. I have by now 22 charms (and 10 more for birthdays and the like occasions) and 17 spacers. At the moment I am on hold with the charms as I gained weight of course. When I reach 288.4 lbs/130.8 kg, I am back on schedule. I will award myself one golden charm at 127.3 kg/280.6, as it will have been ONE hard struggle to regain my stride again.

Planning ahead

I am already planning for a challenge ahead; 24th-27th august I will be part of a huge seminar circus, which emans I will not be able to go to the gym for 4 days, and will have to practice restraint food wise. You know how it is in these 4 star conference places, there is food in abundance, and not all of it healthy.

I must admit the thing which bugs me most is not being able to work out. I am looking into an alternative close by, ill keep all of yous posted!

825 WW & 373 FF - My personal tormentor, errr trainer, is back!

2009-08-09T08:56:00.000+02:00

Muscles, I still have them!

Nanda is back! My personal trainer had 4 weeks of holiday, and now she is back. Wednesday last was the first time, the one training which is really personal, one on one. Yesterday was a training which was one on two, me and my fitness buddy Margreet.

I am not sure, but I think she was easy on me. We did train every possible muscle you can think of, with emphasis on stomach, biceps and triceps, chest muscles. I was OK afterwards, just some burn in the day to follow to make clear I had been working out.

Yesterday we did the 1 on 2 routine, and it was........challenging. I notice I have come to the point where it has become easier for me to do coordinated exercises which combine, balance, stamina, and muscles. I don't fall all the time, or have to stop because I am so out of breath I cannot think straight. I try to do them as focussed as possible and do not allow myself to slack. Every time Nanda says "another 8", I push myself to do the extra 8, to not just stop and give up. I am actually starting to enjoy them, and am challenging myself to go slower, drive the muscles harder, go deeper, add an extra two when Nanda says we are done.

Yesterday I put the weights on a resistance wall exercise up because I felt it was too easy. But instead of 2 lbs, I made a mistake and upped it 4 lbs. Nanda noticed half way through the exercise, as did I. I really had to put my all in it. But I refused to stop, and just completed the set, muscles trembling and all. Come to think of it that might be the reason why my arm muscles, chest and shoulder suffer most today.

This week I plan to make a very good one weight wise just to get my challenge on the right track. The goal is 2.2 lbs/1 kg a week. A friend of mine is worried that it is just too much. It is not; 2 lbs a week is something my body can do, without any adverse effect. I wish to build more muscle, that way up the calorieburn during "rest" periods. I am trying to bring my fat percentage down to below 40%, and it is already working, I am sort of struggling around that marker now.

So all in all. All is well. Food wise I am being creative, healthy and at times a little indulgent. weather wise we are warm, hot, warm, windy, hot. In short a typical dutch summer. Oh, and after fitness thhis morning I am going to the movies. Something with ghosts and girlfriends, and Matthew M.

823 WW & 372 FF - Christmas challenge

2009-08-07T15:46:00.005+02:00

Setting myself up for a fall?

No flippin' way!

Christmas Challenge 2009

And I quote from my on blog:

"I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it means I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bit too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!"

I am setting myself this target, and will document on it in my blog. I have lost 28.2 lbs/12.8 kg in last 10 weeks, making up for 3.3 lbs/1.5 kg weightgain in those 10 weeks. So a total effort of 31.5 lbs/14.3 kg. If I take that up to 20 weeks, it would mean a possible weightloss of 63.0 lbs/28.6 kg. That would leave room for some error. Because 20 weeks is a loooooooong time not to slip up, veeeeeeeeeeery .long!

In numbers it looks like this, 1.0 kg/2.2 lbs a week. That should be possible.

WEEK KG LBS TARGET MADE

wk 0 5-8 140,2 309,0

wk 1 12-8 139,2 306,8

wk 3 19-8 138,2 304,6

wk 4 26-8 137,2 302,4

wk 5 2-9 136,2 300,2

wk 6 9-9 135,2 298,0

wk 7 16-9 134,2 295,8

wk 8 23-9 133,2 293,6

wk 9 30-9 132,2 291,4

wk 10 7-10 131,2 289,2

wk 11 14-10 130,2 287,0

wk 12 21-10 129,2 284,8

wk 13 28-10 128,2 282,6

wk 14 4-11 127,2 280,4

wk 15 11-11 126,2 278,2

wk 16 18-11 125,2 276,0

wk 17 25-11 124,2 273,8

wk 18 2-12 123,2 271,6

wk 19 9-12 122,2 269,4

wk 20 16-12 121,2 267,2

wk 21 23-12 120,0 264,9

I need all the support I can get, so keep following me, comment, and keep sending the good vibes. I am on my way, ready to rock and roll! Any one care to join me in their own christmas challenge? With 20 weeks to go, now is the time to set that target!!

Come on, be bold, challenge yourself to the max!

.......................as my weightwatchers coach says,
we'll be in sexy slinky black by Christmas!

822 WW & 371 FF (both corrected as of this date) - Bounce, bounce, bounce!

2009-08-06T16:19:00.001+02:00

Bouncing back after a hard week

It has been a full 10 days since I blogged last. The week before this one was a confusing one. I gained 3.7 lbs/1.7 kg. In part this was due to a nasty jaw infection. One of my molars, actually one my dentist is trying to save was giving me grief, painful grief! And she is/was on a holiday! No way was any one going to touch that molar. So the one solution was pain killers in massive doses. It helped but gave me a numb feeling, and eating was no joy. So I did not pay too much attention to food. Hence weight gain.

I promised myself I would not slide more than I did, and this week I lost 2 lbs/0.9 kg again. Still a week of hard struggling, and would you not know it I started my period. -grins- those of you who are male, and don't want to read about these female things, just skip it! When I started to loose serious weight, I also started to have serious pain issues when it was that time of the month. Never had much trouble before! The cramps were much more severe. But well, I just take the good, losing weight, feeling great, with the bad, temporary discomfort.

Also I get eating cravings. Never really noticed I had them before, but now I do. Choccolate is one of my favorites, but basically anything will do. Had some disappointing news, which almost made me go into an emotional binge. But I resisted both, the period and emotion eating, and in the end lost 2 lbs! Hurray for me. See I am learning, or have learned. By now the tricks, advices, rules and regulations have morphed into healthy living and a different me. Does not always work, but in many many more cases than none, it does work!

The hunt is on for the illustrious 299 lbs/136 kg is on. FLG has already made it and I so long to get there as well. I won't make any predictions as to when I will have made it, but I will get there and finally break through the 140 mark, once and for all! Today my personal trainer is back and I will see how much I have retained conditionwise. I can tell her that I lost about 11 lbs/5kg in the mean time!

I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it emans I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bot too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!

More to tell soon! Gotta get ready! Will make my comments round tonight if I can squeeze it in.

816 WW & 326 FF - one of them there days

2009-07-28T06:16:00.003+02:00

Hanging in there!

Not even a very bad day. I transgressed on Ice cream, and croissants, but that is about it. Though mind you that did bring my points balance out of kilter. My toothache is improving, and I am sticking to my excercise regime.

Though the scales did put me off balance. It said I gained 5 lbs. I reminded myself the new skirt IO was wearing was considerably heavier that amything else I had worn, also I am gearing up for the dreaded time of the moon month. But whatever it says, I WILL not let it floor me! No flippin' way!

Hope you have a grand day, mine will be a busy one again, with lots of cycling!

815 WW & 325 FF - bad days

2009-07-26T17:01:00.004+02:00

winging it and chocolate

The days past have been kind of dodgy; not enough attention to detail, a bit wishy washy on my exercise, though I did do 100 laps yesterday. And so I blog, just to put all back in perspective.

Yesterday I had too much chocolate, and it has driven up my blood sugar level, leaving me quite hungry, longing for chocolate. So I will set up a eating apttern for tomorrow, here and now. Stick to it and see how much damage control I can do

1 boiled egg
1 slice of rye bread
1 pot of 0% curd
2 spoons of maple syrup
9 points

100 gr. chicken
lettuce
1 tbs mayonaise
fruit, raspberries and blue berries
100 gr. 0% curd
5 points

10 points for dinner

812 WW & 322 FF - Shock and surprise

2009-07-23T06:25:00.004+02:00

A moment of your undevoted admiration please...

In case of doubt this is AFTER

And this is BEFORE

This week I lost 5 lbs......FIVE POUNDS, or in metric system 2.4 kilos. It amazed even me. Holy Heck! It means I have lost 13.6 kilo's/30 lbs in the last 8 weeks. -sits kinda stunned myself-

But it is not a gift. I work very hard to achieve it, very darn hard! And so justifiably I am proud of myself, very proud. Oh and I have broken through the 140 kg barrier, and now weigh 139.4 kg/307.3 lbs. Another 3.4 kg/7.5 lbs, and I will be back in the 200+ range. YES!!! In the last 8 weeks I have lost 30 lbs/13.7 kg.

People are showing concern; too fast, too fast "Am I feeling alright? " And I am reminded of a chapter in Dr. Phil's book on weight management. It deals with reactions of others. And their motivation for it. Is it concern, is it jealousy, is it antagonism wrapped really well? In most cases, if not all it IS genuine concern. But he stresses that we are all just human, and to see some one else succeed where we would like to too, is not always easy.

These last two weeks I have lost near 12 lbs, a little over 5 kgs. It was unintentional, and I just think I had all things going my way. And last week I did nearly floor myself while swimming. I am still not sure what happened, but I suspect an all time low for my blood sugar level. Energy source depleted, and wham.....I nearly fainted. Took me an hour to be able to move without feeling I had to throw up, and about 2 hours more to fully recuperate.

But I don't want this weightloss sequence to stop, because... I know I will hit a slow time as well, and I might come to a stand still for a while. We all know how our bodies react now and then. Sometimes it just has to stop, a sort of regrouping even as my efforts continue. Those are the times that really try my determination, and when that hits I wish to have lost at least another 18 lbs, about 8 kgs. I really really look forward to break through the 130 mark. Besides I am hot on FLG's trail -grins evil- Additonally this means I will have made up the weight gain which I caused in the past wishy washy year and a half, which was some 44 lbs/20 kg. A warning how easy it is!

But I find I learn from each new digression from the choosen path. And when I do digress it is a moment, not a week, a month, a lifetime. new thought patterns have been ingrained.

One of my goals is to weigh less than my brother. I know it sounds horrible, and I hope if and when he reads this that he will forgive me -laughs-. But I am fed up with being the biggest member of my family! NO MORE!!

WILLOWPOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!

811 WW & 321 FF - random thoughts

2009-07-22T15:32:00.007+02:00

Random thoughts

Did you notice? My blog now has three colums, lots more room for even more information!

When I finish my project and have lost the waight I wish to loose, I wish to share my findings with young people. Why? Because I feel for teenagers, and younger children who are overweight. I wish to steer them away from a the path of corpulence. We have all lived it, well most of us, and although I have had a happy life so far, with little to cpmplain, being overweight, and even dangerously overweight, has inhibited me in being even more happier. It tarnishes the quality of life. It really, really does. And I want to make a difference.

I have great admiration for people like Jamie Oliver. Eventhough you do not like his cooking style, he has effected a dietary revolution on british schools. And I am sure it will affect children, not all, but some, and THAT is reason enough to do it.

I would like to show and educate parents on the effect too many lbs has on a child's perpective on life, growing older, meeting potential partners, being active, sexuality, self worth, enjoyment of healhy food etc. Some of thes issues are BIG ones, and I find parents skip over them just all too easy. Mind you I do not point a finger at my parents. But how I wish they had payed attention to the pounds I was gaining, taken me to our GP, a dietician, a gym. My life would have been different.

I realise that my process of loosing weight is now 39 months ongoing, it has cost money, determination, will power, a lot of effort in excercising, planning, making the right choices. And in a way that is all a good thing, because throwing away a process of near 40 months is too ridiculous for words. I just now realised that as I was posting to Kim Ayres. 40 flippin' months, I am having trouble believing it. They have brought me where I am over 64 lbs less in weight, and not intending to stop.

I love excercising

I got winked at last sunday, by a handsome man no less. It knocked me off my feet. In all my life no one has ever winked at me.

My outlook on life, on love, on sex, on me has changed dramatically. The result is an open smile, an outgong inviting dispostion. I find a lot of the fear to engage with people has vanished, and I am bolder, more daring. Some of the women reading this know what I mean, and perhaps some of the men. I honestly know and feel I am beautiful, intelligent, worth while knowing and as such people percieve me to be. The extra pounds I still carry around (just a little while longer) no longer affect that feeling! And I am having heaps of fun.

2nd 10% benchmark coming up --------> 308.6 lbs - 140.0 kg, so 1.7 kg/ 3lbs to go!

Two years ago I WAS a couch potato, my bestest friends were the TV, DVD and my computer. This week I had a job interview (as I need to look for a new job), and the interviewer asked me after I had been telling about myself, when I was ever home? I smiled and told her seldom, and I never ever watch TV. When I am home I clean, take care of food preparation, blog, chat with friends of old on line, and sleep. Geeeeepers, I HAVE changed a lot! I even have a slight tan because I spend so much time outside, cycling foremost!

I am going to spend some time underneath the solarium, I want to improve on the above mentioned tan! a golden hue is enough for me.

Oh yes, and life........IS wonderful

Weigh in tonight, but first some fitness at the gym. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

806 WW & 316 FF - On fire, I am on fire!

2009-06-17T05:56:00.006+02:00

Anybody know a sure way to manage my schedule?

-grins- No, don't bother telling me, I am loving every second of it. I would however love to have about 30 hours in a day. That way I can have my 8 hours sleep, AND some time at home blogging, chatting or just reading a book.

I am now in week 9 of my excercise program with my own personal trainer. I am loving every flippin' minute of it! And am up to 6b times a week. Usually 2 x Cardio, 2 x muscle/cardio, 2 x swimming. I never thought working yourself into a sweat till the droplets fall of my armas could be this much fun! But it is. And I drive myself harder every time. Longer, harder, and going deep real deep. It boosts my self confidence to unprecedented heights!!

What do I do, well here is an example............

Floor excercises
1. Lift 10 lbs ball from ground to shoulder, lunge then throw to my training partner, Margret, step back while she rolls it across the floor [20 x each]
1. Sit on step, 15 lbs ball in front of chest, stand up, making sure I keep back straight, push ball all the way overhead, sit back back to starting position [10x - 10 seconds rest - 10x]
2. On the matrass on my back, bring feet to my ass, bending knees. Then lift shoulders from the matrass, tightening abdomen muscles, and touch with left hand, left ankle in a sideways motion.(15 x left - 5 seconds rest - 15 x left) - 10 seconds rest - (15 x right- 5 seconds rest - 15 x right) - 5 seconds rest - (20 x left - right alternately)

Muscle machines
1. Shoulderpress 2 x 20, 35 lbs-15 kg
2. Torso rotation 2 x 20, 74 lbs - 35 kg
3. Triceps 2 x 20, 74 lbs - 35 kg
4. Biceps 2 x 20, 53 lbs - 25 kg
5. Shoulderpress 1x 20 - 1x15, 35 lbs - 15 kg

Cardio
I top it off with 15 t0 30 minutes of crosstraining, changing the level every 3 minutes, the speed somewhere btween 4,5 and 5 miles an hour.

Swimming
2 x 30 laps with a 2.5 minute period of rest. Total is about 47.5 minute swimming at a steady pace which keeps my heart going nicely. My goal is to go for 60 minutes of swimming with 2 x 2.5 minutes of rest, which is 2 x 30 laps followed by 1 x 16.

All of the above takes about 2 to 2.5 hours. It includes steam room, sauna, topped off by alternating hot and cold showers.

- Oh yes and there is the little matter of losing weight.
I lost near 24 lbs in the past eight weeks. Good or not!! -

I promise to try and post at least once a week. In fact I'll pencil it into my schedule somewhere. Sunday morning sounds like a good plan, AFTER fitness. Although I have to admit, sunday is usual my non fitness day, a day off. But usually if I am not too pooped I get on my bike and go anyways!

Keep up the good work all. And eventhough I missed it, I am so proud of you FLG. You made the 200+ mark before me. The race is on, and I am nearing the 300 lbs mark too. Another 12.4 lbs!!! Watch me fly!!

768 WW & 278 FF - A small break needed?

2009-06-14T14:24:00.003+02:00

Water, water, water

It is simple, I have been drinking too little water, and there were days when I did not get close to 2 glasses of the stuff. BUT, in order to lose weight I have to drink. So I am trying to focus on that. I try to empty one container, worth 5 BIG glasses of water before I leave for the gym in the morning. And then when I am working out I empty another bottle worth 2.5 of those glassed. In total that means, IF I do as I say and want, that I have taken in 2.5 litre, or 2500 ml. enough for the day, and anything extra is a bonus.

Do any of you look at yourself in a full sized mirror, ever? I do, and though what I see needs a lot of hard work, I notice some very small changes, as in more muscles, better posture, and better skin condition. Weightless is erratic, as I am struggling to find the right recipe in eating and exercising, but I do feel muscles which are stronger, more toned, and much more than relying on mr. scale, I rely on how I feel.

This week I had a session with my personal coach twice, and she worked me hard. By now we have gone through all the muscle machines, did 3 exercises at the wall, and 4 ground exercises. I notice that many of these exercises include balance as well, because that way you force the body to strengthen the muscles in your abdomen, stomach, hips, and legs. And it is like an added bonus, while working on arm and shoulder you also train the others, just by changing your stance.

I find I wish to understand what I am doing, wish to understand what muscles I use, how to eliminate possible injuries. I want to be able to make my own half hour to an hour exercise program, and use my time and effort as effectively as possible. The next week, I have one session booked on Thursday, and one of Friday. THAT will be a challenge, as muscle fatigue or even soreness will be a factor to take into account.

Margreet and I have taken up swimming as an "easy” work out at some days, and I just feel that it takes care of any serious muscle ache before it even starts. Yesterday after the training I had very tired upper leg muscles, and biking was more strenuous than usual. Today that is nearly gone and I only feel my chest muscles.

In all I am having a ball, sat in the sunshine yesterday, and had lovely sushi. Just in time as today it is raining again! Hope you are all doing well!

763 WW & 273 FF days - Determination and Motivation

2009-06-09T10:07:00.004+02:00

Off days - what to do about them?

Frankly, I have no clue. I was reading merry Mary's blog yesterday. The topics were determination and motivation. The question for me is how are these two interlinked, or are they. Mary was having a bad day, motivation non existant, out to lunch, and still on hindsight as I read the comments to her post today again, she had a good day excercise and caloriewise. How, by sheer deteremination, the will to do what is good and healthy at that moment, despite the lack of motivation. Now how would this work, for me that is?

Motivation: the reason or reasons behind one’s actions or behaviour
Determination: firmness of purpose; resolutenesss.

Motivation exists because there is a goal, an end result. Motivation is linked with that end result, it is fed by the promise of something highly desireable. And as such it is when we loose faith in the possibillity of that end result, however desireable, i.e. whenever I stop believing that is is possible to lose 190 lbs in weight, and feel that nothing will ever really change, motivation evaporates, ceases to exist. Why motivate myself for something impossible?

Determination is the strength to go beyond what our bodies, minds, mood, energy level, friends and foe tell us. It is sometimes sheer pig headedness. To hang on without a clue why, may be even a clear purpose? And this is part of the key why determination does work when motivation has ceased to be effective. I think determination does not focus on the end result. At the bare minimum it just focuses on the action, the here, the now; to keep running, keep reading, keep caring. Because if we would focus on the end result, the goal, given the state our mind, our heart is in, for instance, a formidable or even an all time low, we WOULD just stop!

Today I have an off day energy wise. I had 6 hours of blissful sleep, but made the mistake of hitting the snooze button about 8 times between 5 and 6 AM. Not a good idea. My legs were like lead. In the end I did just 20 minutes cross training and some 10 minutes kinetic wall. I may go and swim this afternoon after work. It was determination which mmade me even get on the cross trainer, coupled to the coaxing of my training buddy, Margreet. Without her, and a good dose of determination, I WOULD have stayed in bed.

I wonder how you see this determination/motivation cunundrum?

762 WW & 272 FF days - Muscles galore!

2009-06-08T08:24:00.000+02:00

Ever felt muscles you did not know you had?

Well, I did! Though I must say, the regeneration period is fast.Yesterday I had my second day of training. A formal introduction to the various muscle machines. This sesssion I do together with my friend Margreet. As Nanda, my personal trainer explains all the various contracptions, I listen carefully, try to understand what muscle groups they train, how to use them effectively, and avoid injury. She focusses on the BIG muscles, stomach, legs, back, arms, explaining that these can take quite apounding. And immediately she proceeds to make us do so -groans-

I find the whole subject fascinating, and I find myself eager to understand and learn. It is sunday now, and as it stands, is the one day this week where I would not go to the gym. But I am thinking of going anyways. All is packed so...... I will go.

I did a copy of the raining yesterday, leaving out the leg press, and legg curl. After that 15 minutes of intense cross training, alternating speed and level, then 30 minutes of swimming, just to iron out themuscles, and relax them while doing some easy swimming. Then to totally relax the muscles and start regeneration and recuperation fully, some sauna and steamtoom time. In all a one hour training session, focussed, concentrated and intense. I can feel my myscles, but it is not bad, just very much aware of it.

As for weight loss, I have not reported on that at all. Strange is it not. I am so focussed on the fitness regime it seems less important. In the last two weeks I have lost near 12 lbs. I know a massive amount and it even amazes me, but what I have noticed more than anything is a change in body shape. My waist is reshaping most of all, tighter, and there is less of it. somewhere in my files.

14 days , 11 lbs less

The thing I just realised is that I have not made any mention of how much weight I lost in the last 2 weeks since I kickstarted the whole process again. In all I lost 11 lbs in 14 days. Not bad !! Not bad at all.

This morning, monday 8 june, a leisurely swim, 30 laps, just to keep the muscles going. And for tomorrow I have some resistance wall scheduled, as well as a cross training, together about an hours worth of excercising. The past 4 weeks I have not been able to train much longer than an hour in the mornings as I had to be at the office as of 08:30 AM. Mary, secretary to the chairman is on a holiday, and I try to keep things going as best I can. BUT only 4 more days!

759 WW & 270 FF days - Synergy in loosing weight

2009-06-05T13:27:00.004+02:00

Gone, Goner, Gonest?

No, no, no!! You could not be more wrong! I am still here, still doing my darnest, and though I admit I have been all over the place foodwise and dietwise, I have never lost track of what I want to achieve. At the moment I weigh 146.8 kg/323.6 lbs. Which means I HAVE gained weight. That weight is fat but above all muscle. With more weight than about 6 months ago, I have less inches/centimeters to show for it.

Some of you may remember how I started to go to the gym somewhere in august 2009? That in itself was revelation for me. For a while there I thought that that much work out meant that my food intake was not that important. It would compensate when my food intake was not.........as it should be. WRONG!! Also I noticed I lost UMPH, willpower, stamina. In short, though I loved the work outs and became a very frequent visitor of the gym, I slowly slid downhill. For various reason mentally and emotionally I landed up in "darkland", and believe me gaining weight does not help at all. It makes it worse, because you do start to feel like a failure. I thought myself hideous, horribly ugly and had serious problems trying to crawl ot of the black hole.

Then somewhere in April this year I did some soul searching. I made an appointment with my dentist for some serious dental work, and finally plucked up enough courage to go visit the dearest and most wonderful of all friends I have in Washington. Can you imagine, 10 years of talking to this man, and we had never met. So in April/May of this year I went to Washington. What a fantastic city this is! I fell in love with it, as well as with the man; a brilliant tour guide, conversationalist, a man as generous as I could have wished him to be. The best holiday I have ever had. I came back a much happier person.

And so, after having recharged my emotional battery majorly, my smile fixed, my self confidence at an all time high, I reviewed what it was what I was doing to lose weight and how I could improve on it. Mind you, not what I was doing wrong, but how I could improve.

What was I doing:

1. Weight Watchers points system, but not counting points, not going to the meetings
2. fitness, 3 - 4 times a week; tred climber and cross training
3. weighing me at the gym whenever the mood took me, sometimes not for several weeks on end.
4. falling back into old habits of eating to console myself.

What did I improve:

1. Go back to weight watchers meetings, weighing on wednesday, start counting and weighing again
2a. fitness, set up a personal instruction program with Nanda, fitness coach: 10 week programme, which will teach me in fifteen 30 minute trainings how to work my body as effective as possible
2b. a minimum of 4 trainings a week (minimum of 60 mins), training muscles, cardio and balance - these are non-optional
i. swimming
ii. resistance wall and muscle training (machines)
iii. cardio training: cross trainer and treadlimber
iv. resistance training and muscle training (weights, steps, floor exercises)
2c. 2 additional trainings (minimum of 30 minutes) swimming - these are optional
3. weighing myself at least once a week, get an overview of FFM, Body fat and TBW
4. minding the old habits, keeping the momentum going

The 10 week programme set up will demand a lot of time, but as it is all my trainings are early in the morning, so by the time I come home, I can crash and do nothing. Strangely enough though I notice I have lot of energy to burn even ate the end of the day.

The last two weeks 11.2 lbs/5 kg, and I feel envigorated. My musles ache now and then protesting as they get into the swing of the excercising. I find the swimming and the sauna help a lot. They relax my musles and allow me to recuperate, strong and healthy for the next day.

I will describe the exercises as best as I can, for it will enable me to repeat them more easily.

1. crunch
Lie down on your back on the floor, on a stepper, bring your chest to your knees, while you pull in your knees, stretch and repeat. If need be use support of your hands, just to balance your self

2. resistance wall lunge, weight 4 lbs.2 kg
Stand left of a rope (horizontal along the floor) , take hold of the rope handle with your right hand. Breath in, bring right foot back, resting on the ball of your foot, the knee of your left leg bent at a right angle, the support of your weight in this leg. Step back, and lift the weight cord straight up over your shoulder, breath out.

- mirror this for the right side

3. stand ups, ball 15,5 lbs/7kg ball
St down on high stepper, feet about 1 foot away from you, about 1 feet apart, toes pointing forward. Hold the ball in front of your chest, arms pressed close to the side of your chest. Keeping your back straight, stand up, making sure you use the muscles of your legs, buttocks to lift you. Do not curl your back to give yourself extra momentum! Push the ball up, and breath out. Breath in as sit down again, and bring the ball to your chest.

4. Resistance wall, arm press 18.5 lbs/8 kg
Stand in front of the left rope, and take it in your right hand. Pull to ensure the weights are free hanging. Then with right foot, pivoting on your left foot to come to a shallow squat at a 90 degree angle from previous position. Pull with your right hand on the cord while you breath in, a short way until the hand is level with your left shouder, then breath out slow and with the left hand PUSH the right hand on to your right. Do not move your torso, do not pivot your waist; keep the squat stationary. Keep your hands about a foot or more away from your body as you push. Push until you cannot do so any further without moving your torso, then bring the hand back slowly in reverse order, step back to the initial position, breath in. Keep the abodmen and stomach muscles tight.

- mirror this for the right side

The above is testimony to a long process, a process which makes me aware that making my goal, effectively, at a good pace with out veering of the pass needs focus, determination and will power. One of the ways to do this is to organise, something I like and am good at. To see it as a project, of which I am the projectmanager.

And so I have combines all the seperate efforts in to one big one, where every part adds to the other, the synergy of which gives me momentum, and makes me smile every day.

so I would say:

Here, herer, herest

651 WW & 172 FF days -stomach bug and still not on track

2009-02-12T01:30:00.004+01:00

My friend the Norvirus !

I have it! The solution to the enrgy dilemma we all face in years to come!! Once a year we all volunteer to haveing injections of the Norovirus, or in layman's terms volutarily induced shitting desease. It DOES throw your entire digestive system out of whack, BUT you do produce enough methane to keep a city alight for a month -grins- or so it feels.

I have not been to the gym in a week, eat whenever I can or am brave enough to do so. SO, I have no idea where I stand weightwise. I feel like a beached whale, everthing is bloated and painful. Even the muscles in my upper torso are protesting. The contractions in my stomach and bowels just do not agree with my general physique.

Can you tell, I am ILL! will report back soon, I promise.

634 WW & 165 FF days - A continuing story

2009-01-26T11:27:00.000+01:00

I am still here !

FIRST OF, every one who kept asking about me, sending me comments. Thank you so much. Believe it or not it did help. I kept them in my in tray and every time I opened my mail, I saw them and it nudged me closer and closer every time.

IT FLIPPN' WELL DID WORK!

For weeks and days now I have been trying to fight my way through all the excuses a person can make up not to face facts and go from where I stand now. Bottom line, I gained weight. For 17 weeks I just slid down the path. But the journey continues, I am NOT lost. I gained 10 kg/22 lbs.

What did remein is my fitness regime. I am probably in better physical shape than I have ever been. I still go to the gym 4 times a week; yesterday and today I burned off a total of 2000 kcal. Today: 45 minutes of tred climbing, 862 kcal, 2.6 KM, 268 m. elevation. A good work out considering I did a 1200 Kcal one yesteday.

I am curious to see how these two combine, and how much time I need to get to my all time low point this journey , 130 kg/286.6. I am hoping I will be there at my birthday.

I have this week off, and I am taking this time to get back in the saddle. The steps to takë:

Plan my meals
Go back to Weight Watchers
Go to the gym
Drink my water
keep my blog going

I don't much like the first one, as I tend to think I know all the things I should eat by heart by now. But writing it down will make it visible again. Unearth the little white lies I tell myself. I will use WW on line programme to do so.
The second one will mean I need to swallow some pride, not view this as a failure , but as part of the whole journey. I will report back on this on thursday.
Going to the gym is not a problem, I love it, and except for the ungodly hour I have to be up. it is no challenge.
Drinking water, now there is a challenge. On Gym days I empty the bottle take with me, which is a third of that amount. I will put down 2 bottles of water every day, so I know how much water I have gobbled up. They total 3 liters of water.
As for keep blogging, I would suggest, "watch this space"

Food wise I seem to be on a sugar craving. I just cannot seem to stop the need for sweet things. Which means I using way to much sweetner and other sweetning products.

So I started to readup on sugar. And I would like to share some of my research with you.

Sugar addiction has long been joked about. Most researchers, however, believed you could not get hooked on sweets and lose control over consuming them, as if they were drugs. Now studies compiled over the years are making some scientists revisit the idea. The results do not indicate that donuts are in the same category as addictive drugs like heroin, alcohol or nicotine. They do suggest that some brain actions and characteristics associated with the intake of sweets and drug addiction may overlap.

I myself notice that once I begin with eating sugar, there is almost no stopping me! And yes I do notice a difference between the real hard core stuff and the fake replacement stuff! The word comfort food says it all. A sweet chocolate drink makes us feel warm,happy, even cared for. And so we delude ourselve to think that a mer food item can make us happier, make the world all right.

Now I am not advocating that we banish all sugar, but I do believe we should be highly aware of the addictive nature sugar can have on us. In fact there is scientific proof as to how this addiction actually works within our bodies.

And on the subject of healthy skin the following. Eat any vegetable with bright colors and you will be supplying your body with vitamin A, C and E, These vitanins are in fact anti oxydants which fight fee radicals in our system. Free radicals, among others, affect the condition of our skin. Anti oxydants react/bind with free radicals before they themselves can react with the cells in our body. Free radicals very easily react with our cells such as our DNA, causing a chainreaction with aging or even life threathening results; a disturbance in the cellular multiplication, such as the quality and age of our skin, but can also results in cancer.

However we do NEED free radicals to function, so the trick is to limit the negative side effects of their positive contribution to our general well being, and THAT is where anti oxydants come in to play. It has been proven that people who eat an abundance of fruit and vegetables, but also nuts look healthier (skin), and live longer. How do your recognise the skin healthy vegatbles and fruits? You cannot go wrong by going for the brightly colored orange, red, yellow!

SO much for the nutritional pep talk, time to get to my planning. This purposely printed smaller and grey as I will not waste time translating it in english. It is after all strictly for my benefit!

maandag, 26 januari 2009
Ontbijt
1 verzadigende portie(s) Kwark, 0% v.g., naturel 3
1 hoeveelheid (naar smaak) Poeder 0

Lunch
1 1/4 portie(s) Bruin brood 5,5
1 koffielepel(s) Light 0,5
Nusspaprika - Snel voedingsmiddelen toevoegen 1,5

Diner
1 verzadigende portie(s) Tilapia 3
1 verzadigende portie(s) Witte rijst, ongekookt 4
1 portie(s) Tomaat 0
1 portie(s) Ui 0
1 portie(s) Champignons 0

Tussendoortjes
2 koffielepel(s) Light 1
2 plakken parelkandijkoek 3
2 glas (glazen) Yoghurtdrink, limoen 2

Verbruikte POINTS waarden 23,5
Resterende POINTS waarden 2 ,5

Activiteiten
45 min Bergbeklimmen 12
45 min Fietsen (matig tempo) 4,5

Verdiende Active POINTS 17.0

543 WW days & 74 FF days - Can you change habits of half a life time?

2008-10-21T12:09:00.005+02:00

Changing my ways

Can you change the habits of half a life time? Yes, you can. But DON'T expect them to change fast. It takes months.........years. At the end of my first six months and 40 kg/88.1 lbs less in weight, I thought had it licked. "THEY" say it takes 6 months so. I made it there. YES! But I am now one year on and before three months had passed I gained near 11 kg/24 lbs, and am still fighting to get it off. A holifay, and christmas, new year really kicked me in the face. I thought I knew the trick? WRONG!

For a while I viewed it as failing, major failing. From defeat, to desillusion, to disappointment to acceptance, to determination, to a feeling that I can continue where I am without having to look back to last year october, to the realisation that despite the weight gain I had lost more than triple the weight AND could do it.AGAIN, or STILL.

My focus is now on the holiday season, making sure I tackle them with a confident feeling that I will not gain weight again. My aim is still to weigh less than 130 kg/286.6 lbs on january 1, 2009. That is 7 kg/15.4 lbs to go in 9 weeks. A though challenge but with my gym visits continued I know I can make it.

I notice I do not wwcount points anymore. I play by ear, and though I know it is a dangeous thing to do, and for a WW girl a deadly sin, I am doing well. I know the points of most food items, and when I look at the calorie and fat content I can guess pretty accurate how many points it is. The recipe for a point free life? Time fore most, a sense of foodcontent by now ingrained, I also use all kinds of tools given to me by friend, mentors, WW and the internet. So summing it up.... let me think..

1. Buy light, sugarless, low in fat, or fatless products, when possible biological as well.
2. Eat sweets, snack sensibly, restrict them to small portions, and usually only when I just excercised. When I have chosolate it is dark real dark, and a small bar.
3. Go to the gym 4 times a week, 700 kcal a session.
4. Always have breakfast ALWAYS, if I am up late on sunday, make it brunch, big brunch
5. Balance out lunch and dinner. So one big lunch or dinner cancels out the other one and have a small bite to eat instead.
6. When I want something sweet, I eat fruit.
7. When I am really hungry in between I have biological 0% fat curd with honey. TO DIE FOR!
8. Sinning is no sin, but a treat! No more than twice a week though.
9. drink water
10. Spend time outdoors no matter how the weather is!
11. Spend time with friends, do not lock myself indoors and "hang" around
12 Cycle do not use public transport or a car

I find I do not like real fat food any more. But go for more pure tastes, even pure tastes in vegetables. I have eaten cabbage, pure, without sauce, again. And it was good. Cauliflower without white sauce, and it was good! The past year and a half have been a revelation, an exploration into me.....a most enjoyable journey with ups and downs, but very enjoyable!

I extremely seldom have McDonalds or other snackfood, but for instance go one door down and have Italian pasta, brown biologocal and ask them to go easy on the oil. In geeneral I have grown much more picky about my food, and the way it is prepared, so in restaurants I state my preferences loud and clear. I do not feel forced to all which is on my plate, and WILL ask for a doggybag, which in my country is not always a given.

I just checked my blog or last year. Know what. I weighed exactly the same! -grins- How does that affect me. Is it a year lost? NO, it is proof that overall I did not gain weight in a year's time. Pretty good. But I still have not stopped. the best is yet to come!!!

542 WW & 73 FF days - Contemplating Weight Watchers

2008-10-20T12:19:00.006+02:00

Signing in again....

No worries, no worries! I am not lost in action. Nor have I strayed far from the path. Fitness is still 4 times a week, and I try and watch my P's and q's foodwise as best as I can. I havehad a visitor for a whole week, that sort of cut into the routine. A bit more chocolate, some ice cream, some crisps, but none too bad.

What is happening is that I keep thinking I can do without Weight Watchers. Well not the programme, because by now that is ingrained in my brain, but more the weekly check ups. I weigh myself twice a week at the gym, so any kind of change is registered there. I keep a log of my progress, but notice it is hard to compare to the programme before fitness. For I notice that eventhough Ido not see any significant weightloss I do notice a slimmer form, tighter muscles, better physique.

Tape measure wise I don't see much difference either, but I do notice it in my clothes. I feel even better, look even better, have even more bounce, and more stamina. In short I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I am planning to stop weekly weigh ins as of january 1st 2009. But am sort of weening myself off to see how I cope. Anyone have any suggestions?

Yes, GOOOOOOD idea?

Noooooooo, BAD idea!!

Mind you I weigh myself 2 times a week, and go to the gym 4 times a week. I keep my progress scheduled in a chart. Any one have any experience with this?

This post sort of got stuck in draft version. Weigtwise I am doing fine. I will augment the weeklist list on the left soon! I promise. Bottomline, I now weigh 137.0 kg/3042.0 lbs, weightloss is now 35.7 kg/78.5 lbs. The weight is dropping off slowly. It does not look like much, 4 lbs in 4 weeks, but there has been a GAIN week in the past month, of nearly 3 lbs. Also the weight is shifting from fat to muscle. I look different, my lower legs are toned and sleek, my upper legs less bulky and flabby, my waist is starting to show more clearly, my stomach muscles stronger and more toned. With the weight I have it does not show easily, but it DOES show. And what is more I CAN FEEL IT!

So for those of you who were wondering I am still here. And still going strong. As I have said before the work outs at the gym are in a way heaven, they relax me, make me feel good and keep me on my toes. The sauna and steamroom after do wonders for my skin. I have started to go to the gym after work. Then when I come home I have left the day behind me, and the stress has just melted away. RRRRRRRRRRRREAL..........good!

On Stress...........watch the dolphins!

The picture below was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences between the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph, and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation or at least get a massage.

How did you do?

Do you need a vacation?! Apparently I do! Hope you got a good laugh! On a serious note, laughter is a great way to reduce stress and boost immune function. The general advice is, find a friend who can make you laugh, or put on a funny movie. Pin Panther always does it for me. You will feel better for it!

513 WW & 54 FF days - A day from hell.........!

2008-09-26T14:25:00.003+02:00

Recipe: a chairman with a head cold, a lady requiring first aid, and blogger with little sleep and a theatre visit.

This morning Fitness; but I did not get much sleep last night. I had a very interesting conversation with my best friend. Digging deep into our souls, hearts and psyches, finding fears, needs and mutual qualifications for future partners. -grins- I feel sorry for any future partners for either of us. These people should be near fantastic and/or perfect. Honestly I doubt they exist. But all of this resulted in a 3.5 hour intense discussion, most enjoyable, and in a way exhillerating. As a result I could not sleep right away, so I went to bed at near 3 PM. I allowed myself some 2.5 hours of sleep, and dragged my butt out of bed to go to the fitness. AND I actually felt like going even as tired as I was.

I did 15 minutes of cycling, my lack of sleep evident i the slow oace, and the near impossible task of getting my heart rate up to 115. I choose a programme called "Mont Blanc"means you gradually climb to the top, and then gradually descend; 115 kcal. Picking up the pace, this was followed by a treadclimber session of 20 mins at 3.5 km/hr 2mls/hr; 285 kcal. To be topped off by 20 mins of cross training, of wich I did about 8 mins without holding the handsupports (yay for me); 255 kcal. The last part I did to the great songs of Trijntje Oosterhuis, and the songs and lyrics of Stevie wonder. All of this totals 655 kcal.

Foodwise I am doing good. Some yoghurt, some milk, some dark dark chocolate, min tea and honey. So what is lacking is vegetables, fruit. I will be sure to make up on that today.

As for men and being ill, or getting a cold? My at present "headcolded"chairman is taxing at the best of days, but today he really iced the cake. With the stock exchange plummeting, and bacteria having a field day wth him he choose to take it out on practically every one. Me included. Time for me to step outside, take a few deep breaths, wipe away some tears of frustration, walk back in and try to have a rational discussion. Near impossible, but I am proud to say I stood my ground as far as is was possible.

The man is an immovable force, with a firm belief in his own infallabillity. The non perfect state of people such as me is a defect, not a perfectly acceptable fact for any human. If I would take this serious I WOULD blame myself for a mistake made, and give myself a firm thrashing *ahem*. As it is I accepted the scolding, but not the cursing and the over the top incriminations.

The trick is of course to regain composure and even regain my good mood. View the confrontation as just that, and not a full fledged war which it resembled. Leave it behind me, and continue with the more imporatnt facts of the day. Such as: FLOWERS for me!

Why? Yesterday we, read the chairman, had a guest for a meeting. The woman had taken a bad fall at Amsterdam station, but determined to keep the appointment kept going untill she was at our office. With a large wound on her knee, pantyhose ruined, painful shoulder, badle scraped handpalms, and a sprained ankle she looked quite dishevelled. I tended to her wounds and put a bandage on her ankle, applying some make shift genius on her shoe with rubber bands to keep it on her foot (there was no way the strap would fit) and cleaned her hands. And so today I got a huge bunch of flowers, really thoughtful. And with that in mind, the bad mood of my chairman becomes quite trivial. I will make a photograph of the flower and post them here later!

Tonight I am going to an amateur play in the theatre where Ali features in one of the leading parts. I hope to God I do not fall asleep! I am curius to see how she does. All in all a healthy slightly unnerving day, and it is only half way. And you know, I just realised something! usually a day like this one and the alteraction with the chairman would have made me binge on everything and anything which is bad/non healthy for me. In huge quantaties trying to console myself. Not anymore, the piece of chocolate I had was too small to call it comfort food, and it was biological, and 70% dark!

Emotion eating has always been a big issue for me. Let's face it, any emotion and I had a reason to treat or console myself. As they say in dutch "if a fart had lodged itself crooked up my arse"I had a reason to commiserate. Anything would go. Well, NOT this time!

HAH!

512 WW & 53 FF days - a good week despite marginal weightgain

2008-09-25T10:27:00.002+02:00

And the results are..... 0.6 lbs weigtgain.

It has been a good week, excercise was good and intense, food was well dosed, though somewhat lacking in fruit and vegetable. Both will be a point of attention for this week. Today is sushi for dinner with a friend, lunch with a colleague. So the latter will be a simple salad and some juice, the first is home made sushi, so it is all in my hand.

Apples for this afternoon as a snack. This morning rye bread with datesyrup for breakfast I promised some one to come up with a weeks worth of planning. I think it was Candee (My Weight Loss Journey). So I have my work cut put for me *grins*

This morning I still feel bloated, and not sure why. But I have confidence that given some attetion to the problem, it will all show itself next on the scales. Ever since the disaster wednesday some 4 weeks ago, I am trying to adopt another reasoning towards the scales. I try to go by my own conscience. The question being have I tried my best, not what do the scales tell me.

Sounds good to you? To me it does, and it makes me feel much more relaxed. I hope I can adopt this permenantly, and not just this moment. Now there is a challenge!

511 WW & 52 FF days -

2008-09-24T11:37:00.004+02:00

Weigh in day

I feel big, a bit bloated. Ever had such a day? It has been a good week, but as I fitnessed on monday morning and will not go untill this afternoon, I am missing the feel good vibe! I actually look forward to my work out. And I have to stop myself not to overdo it. I keep wanting to go days in between, and catch myself thinking "I wish I had my work out gear with me, I could put in an hour or so"? May be I should start bringing it with me to work as a standard? Or have a full set at the office?

That sounds a bit.......odd, doesn't it?

I was readings half man's blog, and his epic triathlon story. I was in awe, I reread it three times at least, gobbling it up like mad. Deep down inside I want to achieve something like that as well. But I am not that big a believer in myself, YET! But let's face it I NEVER in my wildest dream would have ever thought me a fitness person. So miracles can happen! And if it is up to me, they will happen!

----------------------------

Sayre gave my ego a boost not so long ago and I do wish to mention it here. It is kind of odd how close you can feel to people at times, even if you have never met them before. Sayre is one of them! Below is her commendation for me. But above all it made me proud to be in a small group with 3 special people. Sayre is right! They inspire me every day, make me feel better, and keep me on course.

Struggling with weightloss isn't usually seen as a joy, but sharing the journey with amazing people certainly is. Nona and Willow and Half-Man and Kim Ayres have been my sounding board, my policemen and my inspiration. We all struggle with this weight issue, but it's so much nicer when you can share.

510 WW & 51 FF days

2008-09-23T17:05:00.003+02:00

Halloween Challenge

Spidey challenged a bunch of us:

Join us at the HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE!
THE WITCHES' EVE WILL SEE US FINALLY GET IT TOGETHER!!!!
Lose weight or lose your soul!

I will take the bait, sets a solid in-between target for 01-01-2009 when I want to be 129 kg/284.3 lbs. OK here goes:

weight 09-01-2008: 141.3 kg/311.5 lbs
weight 09-03-2008: 142.0 kg/313.0 lbs
weight 09-10-2008: 140.6 kg/310.0 lbs
weight 09-17-2008: 138.6 kg/305.5 lbs

By 11-30-2008 I aim to have lost 6.8 kg/15lbs and weigh 134,5 kg/296.5 lbs

505 WW (weight watchers) & 46 FF (fitness first) days - Going down!

2008-09-18T14:16:00.007+02:00

And the results are.....

A quick post, real quick. I will try and make up for it soon! Yesterday's weigh in showed a 4.4 lbs/2.0 kg reduction in weight and believe me it is all fat and more as my muscle weight has gone up meanwhile. I have officially broken through the 140 kg/309 lbs mark!! YES.

My next stop? Less that 300 lbs/136.1 kg. The next one? 45 kg/110 lbs weightloss, or on weight numbers: 127,5 kg/281 lbs.

Yesterday just before the weigh in I went to the gym as well. It was hard, I will say that. My muscles are still "tired". But I did enjoy the challenge very much. Going there as often as I do, people are starting to recognise me. That in itself is fun. ME, a regular at the gym. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever think that.

My excercise for the day:

20 mins cycling - 140 kcal
20 mins tredclimbing -240 kcal
18 mins cross training - 210 kcal
58 mins TOTAL EXCERCISE -> 590 kcal

Thank you for all your support!

503 WW & 44 FF days - Muscle pain -> WHooohoo I have muscles!

2008-09-16T09:27:00.004+02:00

Three days beyond 500 Weight Watcher's days

Last night I received an official complaint. The muscles at the top of my hips near my lower back, as well as the muscles at the top of my upper legs near my knees are a wee bit.......affected. So to answer all of your questions: Did I stop? Heck NO!

BUT, I really was not happy two weeks ago. I really really felt cheated. Doing all that work and sticking to my healthy eating regime, and gaining weight! Dammit to heck! All your wonderful posts did help. And of course I know it not as simple as 2-1=1. So many factors play a part and I will never know what it was that made me gain that weight. All I know is I tried my best. And that is the thing I should remember, right?

For my cinqcentenntial anniversary I have decided the following. I will not post my eatingschedule any more. people have commentexd It just does not make any sense to them and it is frankly.........ver uninteresting, UNLESS youuse Weightwatchers too. I will still write for myself, but no longer post it here.

GOOD NEWS, WE NEED GOOD NEWS!

Good news was and is that by now I like the excercising so much that I just go regardless. And I have even upped the calorie burn. I am now to 1000+, kcal that is IF time allows because to do that I need about 3 hours, which includes training, cool down, steam room, relaxing and getting home. I try and do this twice a week on monday and sunday, and the other two times I stick to a 600+ kcal regime. It works well, and eventhough I have some muscle pain now, I feel good and content.

I have found out I am competative. Whenever I work out with friends I want to go higher, further, deeper and longer. As a result of always having logged around a lot of body weight my muscles are used to intese and heavy work, BUT as I found out they are not very good at the fast and fusious work outs. Give me a stairclimber with a lot of resistance and I am fine, I will keep on grunting untill I have done the minutes, ask me to burn a set amount of calories on a bicycle at low resistance and I fail. I am not good at the speed things, I get out of breath and even bored.

After yesterday's work put cycling to work this morning was a bit of a challenge, and slower than usual. And I could feel the strain in my upper legs. -grins- I was glad that several traffic lights forced me to stop and wait, giving me some slight repose.

Foodwise I am sticking to eating healthy, BUT also making sure I eat enough! With all this excercise the WW numbers need to be stretched considerably. So I eat more carbs, and try and eat even more vegetables. It proves hard, but I am doing my utmost not to grab the sweet stuff. On the 1000+ days I use up almost 2/3 of what WW advises me to eat, on 600+ days about half of the WW daily intake. So all in all I use up 2.5 days worth of more calories in a week. I would like them ALL to come out of my fat reserves, but it does not work that way really. So eat I more just to keep the motor going effectively.

Oh yes and there is good news as well, Last week, one week after my personal deepest disillusion I lost the weight I had gained the week before. This week I hope to get through the 140 KG/308 lbs barrier. I have been struggling with that one for a while. For christmas this year I have set a a challenging goal, well I think so at least, 129 kg/285 lbs. This means I want to lose 11kg/23 lbs in 14 weeks. This is 1.7 lbs a week. I promised myself to adjust this if it proves too challenging.

Tomorrow is my weigh in again. I will keep you all posted.

Oh, and as for my excercise regime:

28 min cycling -> 220 kcal
42 min tredclimbing ->560 kcal
22 mins Cross training -> 260 kal
8 mins walk (cool down) -> 50 kcal

100 mins -> 1090 kcal

491 FF & 32 F days - Big fat liar

2008-09-04T16:31:00.003+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 0,0/0,0 /0,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

------------------------------------

WEIGH IN: I gained 3 LBS

WIth all my big words of being a health watcher, not a weight watcher, I know now I am liar. The weight gain hit hard, very hard. I am disillusioned, sad, angry, disgusted with myself, and so close to giving up. It all makes no difference. in the last 2 weeks, which have been 2 weeks of healthy eating, geared towards losing weight, but also 2 weeks of fitness, geared to losing weight I have actually managed to GAIN 4 lbs.

Chances are you will see me drop off for a while while I battle my biggest enemy, ME, and try to call upon my biggest hero, ME again. My way of dealing with ME is to close off, to close to door behind me and search my soul, fight my battles, lick my wounds and return as if nothing went on behind closed doors.

I'll be back!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
16,0 points
--------------------------------------
10,0 - 2 pieces of pizza
2,0 - rice
3,0 - half an avocado
1, 0 - mayo light
0,0 - mustard

Lunch
7,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - 1 ounce of ham
4,0 - 100 gr. cheese spread light

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
--------------------

489 W & 30 F days - Finding my stride!

2008-09-02T09:40:00.005+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 8,5/0,0 /0,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 4
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Daily stats and health watching versus weight watching

Yesterday evening I felt fine, not tired, not aching, just fine. So I decided to go to the gym this morning as well. That will make 4 straight day in a row as I will be going tomorrow as well. I really like the excercise, the feeling it gives me. It is quite exhillarating.

This morning I signed on to view my blog and I found 5 comments on my post. It felt so good to see all your encouraging words. This was minutes before I left for the gym at 06:30 AM, and it really gave me a boost. And I was already feeling super. I am trying to let go of this weight loss notion, ie "I am not doing a good job if I do not lose weight", and keep on going on the route I am on now. I feel better, stronger, and I do notice body changes.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I will see what the flippin' scales say. But this is for all of you supporting me:

Daily total: 504 kcal
82 kcal: 15 minutes of cycling (HR 105)
160 kcal: 15 minutes of power walking (HR 115)
272 kcal: 20 minutes of cross training (HR 118)
5 minutes steam room
5 minutes sauna

------------------------------------

Breakfast
8,5 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd
3.0 - 3 tbs blue berry syrup
2,5 - 250 ml semi skinned milk

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - 1 tangerine

488 WW & 29 F days, taking a different road

2008-09-01T10:14:00.006+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved:33,0/0,0 /6,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 0.5
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

From cardio to fatburning

Yesterday the scales showed me I gained weight again. However going into the details of it, I lost 5 lbs of fat, and gained 7 lbs of muscle, So I have decided to purposely bring down my fitness efforts, aka my heartrate. I now do my excercises at fat burning level, anywhere between 114 and 121 H(eart)R(ate).

I am getting stronger, and I can actually manage 20 minutes on the cross trainer. And what is more about 3 times today a sort of euphoria hit me, my skin started to tingle, and it was like I sort of ........it is so hard to explain.........I sort of went beyond myself. It was the oddest sensation I have had so far. Nothing like just being happy, tired, content, relaxed. A sort of physical "high" may be?

180 kcal: 20 minutes of cycling
140 kcal: 20 minutes of power walking
250 kcal: 20 minutes of cross training
5 minutes steam room
5 minutes sauna

------------------------------------

Breakfast
8,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml low fat curd
2,0 - 2 tbs blue berry syrup
3,0 - sultana yofruit bar

Lunch
9,0 points
--------------------
5,0 - 6 crackers
4,0 - linera cheesespread

Diner
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
6,0 - sushi

Various
10,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - beauty juice (organic, guave, banana, lime, and cactus)
8,0 - 8 chocolates

485 WW & 26 F days

2008-08-29T13:25:00.003+02:00

The crap mood lingers

You should have seen my this morning at the gym. I was not a fun person to be around. Oh I did my 50 minutes of excercise, but the palce was boiling hot, and it was hard to get in the swing of things. In the end I sort of hung around 125 HR, and burned about 350 kal.

My faith in what I am doing has sort of suffered.....I KNOW it is extremely good for me, I just don't believe it as much as I did befoe. It still bothers the heck out of me that I gained weight. On sunday I will see if I have again gained weight despite my gym efforts. Granted I know something IS happening. But it i just hard to sort of go past the weight GAIN thing and see the benefits of what I am doing. The scales have a power influence on me. More so then I ever thought.

Stamina:
I can walk better AND longer, and still have more than enough energy to get through a whole day

Skin:
My skin (face) has improved dramatically. No more dry flakes, only a few red spots here and there. Hardly any zits. My body skin is supple, strong and feels smooth and never tight.

My mood:
I am usually a very happy go lucky person, but the feel good hormone really buzzes within most of the time -grin- I go through the day genuinely happy.

My ego:
I have somthing to brag about! because I know there are people who do not do what I do! What I used to be a couch or deskchair potatoe. Also I have managed to make two of my best friends as enthousiastic as I am myself. They joined the gym as well!!

484 WW & 25 F days - Emotions and cursing

2008-08-28T07:25:00.005+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 27,0/0,0 /4,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

I am so ABSOFLIPPIN'BLOODYBLINKIN'LUTELY angry!

I stuck to my diet well enough, I worked out like an animal 4 times this week, and I GAINED...........read it - GAINED - 0.9 lb! Oh of course I think of a number of reasons why would not have lost as much weight as I wanted: chocolate peanuts, too much sushi, not enough water. But to gain weight, that really, really pisses me off. I was angry last night and I am still angry now.

Yesterday I was about to attack the lady behind the scales, suggesting I should write down the things I eat, and may be I am retaining water, or may be I am not eating enough! I told her I write down everything in a blog, but she keeps insisting I should write it down for her. -growls-

The only thing for it is just to keep going like a stupid senseless animal, and hope that next week I will have lost weight. My back hurts, my mood is shit, sooooooo watch out world I am ready to donate some of this anger on the first one who gets in my way.

Sidenote: I am extremely seldom like this, so don't worry. keep out of my hair and you'll be fine by tomorrow.

I copied this from http://www.cmha.ca/.

Dealing with your anger

It is important to deal with your anger before it causes you discomfort or pain. Studies have shown that anger can cause serious health problems such ulcers and heart disease. It can also make you behave in ways that could cause you to lose your job or friends, or result in the break-up of your marriage. There are some things you can do to deal with your anger as it happens. Other things you can do involve changing your way of approaching life by learning new attitudes and taking a number of practical actions.

Short-term solutions

Admit that you are angry. If you bottle up your angry feelings, they will not go away, and they will keep coming out over and over again, painfully.

Try not to over-react. Step back from the situation that is making you angry and ask yourself, "What would I think of someone else if I saw him/her getting angry in this situation?" or "Is this situation really as bad as I am making it out to be?"

Try to make yourself think about something else. Turn your attention to some pleasant memory rather than the line-up, traffic jam or whatever is irritating you.
Identify the source of your anger. If the actions or words of another person are hurting you, try to you deal with him/her directly in a peaceful and productive way.

Listen carefully to what others are saying to you, and let them finish without interruption. Very often, you will not understand the real message if you "jump in" after a few words. Give people a chance to explain themselves.

Ok, so now you know. Let me mull on all this and get back to you!

Well, I've done my thinking. Shed my anger. In the end it is a storm in a glass of water. So what have I been thinking. I cannot really point any fingers untill I know for suer it is not my food intake which is messing things up. So this week is going to be a text book week. All my water, vegetables and fruit, and especially my fat. Carbs and protein is usually not the problem. When I get home tonight I will do some planning for this week to make sure I don't stray.

Tonight I am going out to dine with Fred, my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Who by the by signed a very favorable contract today. WHOOPEE! As usual we will be going to have pizza, the decision I have now is this: do I eat all of the pizza and use some 14 points of the HUGE bulk of points I build up with my work outs (near 90 points a week), or do I fit in half a pizza? Do you people have any suggestions? I am .......at a loss.

HELP!

-----------------------------------

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml organic curd (low fat)
2,0 - 2tbs honey
0,0 - 2 kiwis
0,0 - 750 ml water

Lunch
8,5 points
--------------------
8,5 - chicken wrap
0,0 - mineral water
0,0 - 250 gr tomatoes (organic)

Diner
14,0 points
-------------------------------------
14,0 - pizza
0,0 - plain salad
0,0 - coca cola light

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - here

483 WW & 24 F days, A lifetime job, this being healthy!

2008-08-27T10:52:00.008+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 8,5/0,0 /86,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 1
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

------------------------------------

Weigh in today, fitness in the afternoon.

This keeping/getting healthy thing is keeping me busy, phew. You would think after a year and a half that thinks have gotten easier, more matter of fact. Some have.......like having enough fruit and vegetables. I am very much aware that food intake is not about AND, AND, AND, but about choices, not always wise ones, but choices none the less. You cannot have your cake AND eat it all.

But other things just will not "stick" This water thing for instance. There are times I feel like a camel. And I swear at times I feel like throwing up if I have one more drop of water. On the days that I fitness it is easy. I drink 2 liters of water just during my training alone. As for being/getting healthy, I cannot say I am loathing the work I put in it. I really I can't! But at the same time is does not mean I am constantly vigilant as to what I eat and do. It cannot be a 24 hour a day job. I do have other things to do! Like earn a living?

With my Fitness First pass I can go to any FF club in the world I want, and they have 500. This afternoon though I will go to the all ladies FF club accross from my usual haunt, just to have a look see. It looked a lot less busy when I cycled past last afternoon.

Soon I will be employing a personal trainer to help me be more effective in my training regime. But lets face it, I may not dislike my cardio work out, but I do want to lose my sweat as effectively as possible.

As for my weigh in results, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.............

------------------------------------

Breakfast
8,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 5 rye matzes
4,0 - cheesespread
2,5 - chocolate craquotte (light product)

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - mixed fresh fruit

483 WW days & 23 F days I am a good girl, I am!

2008-08-26T07:14:00.007+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 2,0/25,0 /82,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 4
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:1
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Morning has broken.........dumdedumdumdum....
*just imagine MICHAEL BUBLE and JOSH GROGAN as my grand backing vocals*

My orchids, pretty aren't they?

I am warning you you would not wish to hear me sing for real this time of the morning . Yesterday was a good day. I decided not to go to the gym in the morning as my back was really protesting. So instead I wenty after work at about 5:30 PM.

MAN OH MAN, it was BUSY! I was lucky to find a bicycle vacant. And like I said I was a good girl. I really made an effort. 15 minutes cycling, 15 minutes near running, 10 minutes cross training, and again 10 minutes cycling. All of them at 135-145 BPM, except for the last 10 minutes they were at 120 BPM. I felt so good cycling home. Mind you I did take my time in the steam room, the sauna and some relaxing reading afterwards. Most enjoyable.

While on my bicycle homewards I could not help thinking how much I enjoy working out. It is hard work, but there is an almost extatic joy that I AM doing it. I am trying to veer away from looking at the minutes; just get in a kind of trance like rythmn and keep going. That works fine with cycling and walking/running. However with the cross trainer it seems impossible. I need the chronometer to push myself one minute further, and one minute more..... and one more. Afterwards I feel especially satisfied, content and soooooooooooo relax.

Afterwards I went to visit Margreet, see how she was doing, had my low fat curd and honey at her place and cycled home an hour or so later. By then it was near 9 PM, and after some chat online (I have a close knit group of friends on MSN, yahoo, ICQ and the like) I fell in my bed. Eatwise I did good *grins* untill I stumbled on a left over bag of chocolate nuts, and had a few.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
0,0 - 2 kiwi's
3, 0 - 500 ml curd skimmed
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Lunch
6,0 points
--------------------
6,0 - zarzuela & chicken

Diner
10,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 slices rye bread
1,0 - 4 slices of chicken
1,0 - 1 tbs mayo light
3,0 - 500 ml Curd 0% fat
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Various
4,0 points
------------------------
4,0 - chocolate peanuts

482 WW days & 22 F days - Thought I had bailed? WRONG!

2008-08-25T09:23:00.010+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 3
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 1
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

I AM STILL HERE AND I AM FAMOUS *waves like a loon*

It is official, I am famousssssssssssss. The website http://www.wltips.com/ requested an interview with me ages ago. I kept dragging my feet, making all kinds of excuses. But finally I sat down to it and wrote my "thang". I thought long and hard about who to put down near the botttom as inspirational sites/blogs. Eventually I choose Sayre, Nona, Joy and Spidey.

EXTRA, EXTRA, Read all about it.
Willow featured on WLTIPS.COM!!
READ IT - CLICK HERE

Want to see it, read it, bask in my famousicity, IF that is a word even?

*strikes and Emmy pose in my slinky sexy black lil thing, wips back my long blonde hair, smiles seductively at my audience, and recites my pre written address to the nation, with tears in my eyes*

First of all, I wish to thank my parents, for allowing me to get obese, the chocolate industry for sponsoring my efforts, my............no, wait......that is not it!

*smiles warmly in my multi colored cardigan and jeans, yellow striped sneakers.makes sure my short dark blond hair is less unruly, and acts more Willow like*

Seriously though, thanks all who posted to my fed up post a few days ago. Believe me it helped. One post actually made me teary eyed. The feeling still lingers, especially as I the scale tells me I have gained weight this week, and I have not really a clue how. But then what do these scales know?

On friday morning early I did go to fitness and worked out well, Margreet was there as well. A dear friend who signed up at the gym as well. Right now she needs lots of positive enforcement and support, so she is getting it from me. We laughed and worked ourselves into a sweat, then I logged her training gear and mine home, along with all the stuff from the Asia store. All the "stuff" to make sushi that is; much cheaper too. Nori is about 50% cheaper. sushi rice about 25% cheaper.

After dropping all the stuff off at home, starting a load of washing, boy fitness does create a lot of washing, I hopped on my bicycle again to do the rest of my shopping. All was in by mid day, and I actually got a little nap before leaving again. Had a lovely dinner date with a colleague discussed science, work, and more science. Then peddled home, meeting Margreet on the way. We talked for quite some time, while watching "The king and I", and finally went to bed.

Saturday was the day of my birthday party. I had prepared much, but not all. Margreet and I had a ball making sushi for 11 people. in the end we made 240 pieces of sushi, nori rolls and finger sushi. We decided that we should start a catering business making the sushi. It was actually pretty perfect. Al in all it took us some 2.5 hours to make them. We set the table, prepared the living room. I had bought two beautiful orchids to flank the sushi setting, side orders of emping, shrimp crackers, a simple salade, the customary soy sauce, chili sauce, ginger and wasabi.

I was cutting some cold meat for the evening snacks when people poured in. All 10 of them in15 minutes time. My living room was filled to capacity! My balcony was the designated smoking area. During the evening we discussed my impending kitchen project, which will be starting in october. A lot of discussions on gas supply and electrics, ceilings and floors being ripped out, in short I put on a brave face and pretended to share people's visions that we could make it work. *grins* I am a bit........apprehensive. Can you tell?

During the party I found out that Ali, the third Musketet (as in female Musketeer) in our little band - Margreet, Ali, and me- was also intending to sign up with the fitness school. So arrangements were made to go there sunday morning 11 AM, Pieter would join us, just to see if he liked it, and Valentine would do the same.

Well, all were there, except Valentine, he travelled home on sunday morning after having spent the night on my couch. Sunday morning all were there, though Pieter was a wee bit late. Ali signed up for a three months period, and we combined we lost about a bucket of sweat. We did have great fun. I joined the body balance group for the second time (did last sunday too), and actually had the idea I was doing a little bit better. My balance is crap, it really is. I need to work on that one. We ended our routine with 20 minutes cycling, and hit the steam room and the sauna, and walked out new women, tired but content. Pieter had by then left I am sure, and we met up with his mother to go watch the movie Mama Mia a third time at the cinema. I was home by 6 PM, and actually.............too pooped to pop. Can you imagine that?

This morning no fitness. I am going there this afternoon, my back is too weak. Body balance, a mix of Tai Chi, Pilates and Yoga has made quite an impression on it. So I am giving it most of the day to recuperate and will do my fitness tonight.

So, here it is my justification for not blogging. Think I got away with it?

Food wise I have not done bad. Sushi will not break the bank, and dinner on friday was tenderloin and risotto, starters was soup, and I did not have any dessert. Yesterday was hard work at the gm after a breakfast of 4 slices of bread with chicken and some with jam. My only major transgression was getting my nose into a bag of chocolate covered peanuts. Bad Willow, bad!!

The read out of the scales at the gym showed me I gained weight, but additionally also showed me a greater percentage in muscle tissue, and less in fat tissue. Perhaps that is the explanation for the weight gain? IF there actually is any. I also know I am retaining water as my period is coming up. Well, we'll see. I just know I am doing my best, and I feel like I am doing GOOD!
Sushi for lunch tomorrow I think! I have to think what to eat now, have not had any breakfast yet.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
0,0 points
--------------------------------------

Lunch
9,0 points
--------------------
4,0 - 4 crackers and cheesespread light
5,0 - 6 pieces of sushi

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
3,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - ricepudding

478 WW days & 18 F days - FED UP, I am FED UP!

2008-08-21T13:59:00.008+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 9,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 4,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

------------------------------------

I should be, but I am not content

WATCH OUT Willow ranting, feeling sorry for herself
Just close this window and look for my post tomorrow if you are not in the mood for it

Weigh in showed I lost 1.8 lbs, and I am not happy. I know I should be, and it is ungrateful not to be. But well it sort of hits me that if I lose 1.8 lbs a week, it will take another 61 weeks. *BIG SIGH*

FLIPPIN' SIXTY ONE WEEKS!!

That would make it 22 September 2009. Today it seems like there is no end to it. I am feeling low, blue, and dishearted. Does not mean I will not stop my efforts. not in the least. But today my enthousiasm is suffering.

If I take a look at the last 5 weeks, I lost 12.4 lbs, in that way it will be 45 weeks.

a little less flippin' forty one weeks

That would make it June 3, 2009. One day before my birthday. which is 2.7 lbs a week.

I know, I know I am getting number crazy. Nearly 500 days, and I today I am sort of fed up. Not with the adjustment in food or excercise, but just the whole package. I guess today more than any other in a long time I want to be like other people, other women. And I am going to say it, though I know people will react fiercely.........I want to be pretty! Yes pretty according to shallow stupid advertisement standards.

I want to be pretty, attractive, alluring, sexy, a vamp, a babe, a seductress,

Behind that remark is a whole world, wrapped in tears, self incriminations and heartache. The pain of a non rational woman, just a feeling woman. And in 99.9% of my days, hours, minutes, she does not show, well wrapped and hidden inside. BUT she is there and I am not going to spare you that part of me. Though I suspect some/most of you recognise that feeling.

Comments are welcome, but be kind, or I will hit back hard! -smiles wryly-

------------------------------------

Breakfast
4,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 4 craquottes
2,5 - cheesespread 10% fat

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
4,5 - sushi

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - here

477 WW & 17 F days, weigh in

2008-08-20T12:47:00.006+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 14,5/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 8,0/94,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 40 minutes Activity points: 15,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

One more week

the countdown is really on. Two and ahalf more weeks and I will be doing WW for a total of 500 days. That is 71 one odd weeks, but also some euro 560, estimating I will have lost 32 kg/72 lbs, that comes down to euro 17,5 a kg, or euro 7,80 a lbs.

To be honest that is not what I had in mind, but from november 2007 to july 2008 I have been doddling, dragging my heels, taking it easy, slacking. The visits to WW during this period served to NOT lat me slack more than I did, and to kep my focus forward. It took a while for me to get back on track again, but I never did veer far away. It was more a matter of alternating bad weeks with good weeks, resulting in the end in a 30 lbs/14 kg weightgain. I am still working to get rid of them; 18 lbs to go. In a way seeing this spelled out black on white is demotivating, or rather it makes me feel bad about myself.

BUT I will strive to get back to the 91 lbs weightloss and beyond that, no matter how bad it makes me feel to read what ground was lost. Up to now I told people I had gained "some "weight, but that is a cop out.

So onwards! On y va!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
6,0 points
--------------------------------------
5,0 - curd
1,0 - 1 tbs honey

Lunch
5,5 points
--------------------
2,5 - 5 cracottes
3,0 - cheese spread 10% fat

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - elderberryflower juice

476 WW & 16 F days, a lazy day

2008-08-19T11:48:00.006+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 15,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 8,0/79,0
Day´s excercise - cycling : 60 minutes Activity points: 4,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 4
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Roleplay, and a lazy day

No fitness today, though I was tempted to go to the gym this morning. However one of my other hobbies has been suffering these past few week. Usually in the morning I roleplay on line, a sort of play acting on line. You create a character walk into a roleplayroom/chatroom, and act out an impromptu setting.

Always a creative narrative challenge, and when you have done it as long as I have you befriend people so there is some "out of character chat"as well. With the gym and all other things combined I am not as much in the room as I used to be. In fact I am seldom there. So this morning I did an hours worth of roleplay. Mind you 95% of the people are American, so most of the serious roleplay is done when I am snug as a bug in a rug in my bed.

My latetst creation, now about 8 months old is Ana., a bedouine girl, married to a man she likes at best, but who usually scares, baffles, annoys and intimidates her. He rules the land of Baash, and is an amazing character. All this is fun to play as long as people remember it is puppets we play, and NOT ourselves!

The day after yesterday

I am still a wee bit numb, or not there. It is not really the effect of Willemijne being gone. That will probably take a bit longer to sink in, but more the very surreal episode of Pet Rescue which was played out in my house. Only in this case the pet did not survive. The image of an highly emeciated dead cat, who happened to be my beloved Willemijne is still very visible in my mind. I wonder if I could have done more?

------------------------------------

Breakfast
4,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 300 ml curd
1,0 - 1 tbs honey

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
11,0 - sushi

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
4,0 - 4 cookies, organic orange hazelnut

475 WW days & 15 F days

2008-08-18T13:53:00.006+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 8,0/75
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 30 minutes Activity points: 16,0

REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 4
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

A moment to remember Willemijne

This morning I found my little feline girl unable to lift her head, unable to eat and she was so very tired, so weak. I phoned the vet, and they said drop her by and we will keep an eye on her. She never made it that far. She died while in the carry all, on my way to the vet. When I walked in I had trouble controlling my sadness.

The vet looked at her, examined her and confirmed her heart had stopped. I caressed her for a very short time, and then left her there. She was, like I posted yesterday, a cat who lived her own quiet life, and yet she could not survive on her own. A kind of love hate relation ship with human beings in general. Sometimes she would crawl underneath the covers with me and lay in the hollow at the small at my back, snuggling close. But she did not wish me to pet her. Just leave her alone and she would fall asleep with me. That was about once every two months.

She would be there when food was issued, and sometimes walked in the room when I had guests, but usually she just stayed in the side room, the large drawer of the cupboard her domain. That is where I found her this morning. She was barely alive, barely responded.

The one concellation I have is that she spent her last day, her last night at home. She did not die outside and alone. The strange thing is, her brother Boudewijn never missed her one moment in the past 5 weeks. I did, and now I will have to miss her completely, my grumpy little cat girl.

Willemijne

------------------------------------

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Lunch
9,0 points
--------------------
9,0 - 3 packages Sultana

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - here

474 WW days & 14 F days - Film review: Get Smart!

2008-08-17T10:44:00.002+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 22,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 8,0/75,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 120 minutes Activity points: 40,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 3

------------------------------------

My cat Willemijne
Willemijne and her brother Boudewijn came to live with me some 10 years ago. And now she has been missing for the last 5 to 6 weeks. She must have jumped off the balcony; that or fell off. She is a shy cat, very shy. Not very good with people at all. Even with me she seldom "fraternises". I have spread pamflets around, but she never showed. I just know it was because she is just to scared of people. She will never show herself when there is any one around. I have soent

She was found today! A neighbour called me that he had found her in his garden. She is in a hoorible state. Totally emeciated. I put her on a small cushion, gave her some fish and water. She drank the water, so I am a little more at ease. But the poor thing can hardly walk, she is just too weak. In a way I feel so guilty, not having looked harder. I will keep you all posted.

Get Smart; movie review.

I liked it, though admittedly the jokes were old, and easy to predict. Don't expect any big scenario surprises, or brilliant acting worth an oscar. But having said that, it is a fun movie, worth watching with a bag of popcorn in one hand and . Worth watching twice? Actually yes, but that may have been te resulot of the fact that I had to go to the bathroom mid movie. Though I did not miss much so I summised from the movie as I sat back down again.

As for a grade? I would say a 7.5, but only WITH popcorn.

Now as for my sunday? I took a friend to the gym, introduced her to the "toment"of sweat and moving your muscles with resistance set to high. In the end she decided to sign a year's contract with the Gyn, A bold decision, I signed up for three months. It will give me chance to see if I can put my intentions where my mouth is. To see if I can keep the 4 times a week routine up . so far so good. I weighed today on the scales they have there, and ewill do so every sunday. It means I will have a have abenchmark every sunday (gym) and wednesday (weight watchers).

My clothes show me that something is happening, even if I do not stand on the scales. They fit better. The one pair of heans I own are loose round the calves by now, which was not the case about 2 weeks ago. I am really looking forward to wednesday.

OH yes, and as for yestreday and my food intake. I played Catan at Jannie's and Gerard's. I did win 3 times, Jannie ccoked very light. I was the one who brough chocolate truffels for the occasion though. Had some crackers and cheese in the evening. All in all I will add 8 extra points needed to my tally.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
4,0 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - z slices rye bread
0,5 - 2 slices of chicken
1,0 - 1 tbs applesyrup
0,5 - margarine (low fat)

Lunch
6,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd
3,0 - 3 tbs honey

Diner
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - risotto
2,0 - 1 tbs olive oil
3,0 - fish fried in pan
0,0 - 3 tomatoes

Various
5,0 points
------------------------
5,0 - 1,5 slices carrotcake with chocolate

472 WW days & 12 F days - Movie Friday - GET SMART!

2008-08-15T12:03:00.011+02:00

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/35,0
Day´s excercise - cycling & Fitness: 80 + 60 minutes Activity points: 27,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Why does it feel different from day to day?

Fitness was hard this morning. Not too hard, but hard. And I am glad I have a day to recuperate. My muscles are very "present". I think it may have to do with the fact that I am much more serious about how hard I drive myself. I am now on a routine of 10 mins cycling, 10 minutes tredmill, 13 minutes cross trainer, which includes the cool down. And please bear in mind I log about 300+ lbs with me while I do *grin*

Today I managed to get my HR to 135 on all three. It proved to difficult to go to the full 141. I had to push myself too hard to get to 141. So I just accepted the fact that it was less effective today. BUT, I still feel DARN good to be doing this, and sticking to it.

Yesterday I used dramatically too little points, and it was not even on purpose. I used only 27out of 27 points. I just did not pay attention. Will have to keep an eye on that. I used no added fat at all. And as we all know breaking down body fat required essential ingredients found in FAT! One day of less point cannot be a problem, and I think it is defenitely a one off occasion.

GET SMART!

Not saying you are not! But today is movie friday, so we are eating out. Fish on the menu, and french fries. So I will keep my lunch down to a minimum. This afternoon some vegetables for certain as I think there won't be much of that on my plate. As for movies "Get smart" is on the menu. A good helping of Steve Carell, a side order of Anne Hathaway, and a dash of Dwayne Johnson. I have been looking forward to that for some time. It has been advertaised for months! I am usually not one for these kinds of movies, but what I saw I know I liked very much.

Get smart was a tv series which was aired between 1965 and 1970. I never saw it, I was only a toddler then, not even in school yet! The offical synopsis of the film is this:

"In the all-new action comedy “Get Smart,” Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS. When the headquarters of U.S. spy agency Control is attacked and the identities of its agents compromised, the Chief (Alan Arkin) has no choice but to promote his ever-eager analyst Maxwell Smart, who has always dreamt of working in the field alongside stalwart superstar Agent 23 (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson). Smart is partnered instead with the only other agent whose identity has not been compromised: the lovely-but-lethal veteran Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway). As Smart and 99 get closer to unraveling KAOS’ master plan—and each other—they discover that key KAOS operative Siegfried (Terence Stamp) and his sidekick Shtarker (Kenneth Davitian) are scheming to cash in with their network of terror. Given little field experience and even less time, Smart—armed with nothing but a few spy-tech gadgets and his unbridled enthusiasm—must defeat KAOS if he is to save the day."

Get Smart official website - opens a new window

old tv series

movie 2008

I will report back tomorrow on what I really thought of it! Tune in again tomorrow!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 gr. Curd
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - LARGE gurkin
2,0 - 250 gr. curd
1,0 - 1 tbs honey

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - here

471 WW days & 11 F days - Weigh in week 67 Officially back on track!

2008-08-14T10:40:00.007+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 17,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/8,0
Day´s excercise - cycling : 60 minutes Activity points: 4,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

Too little fat used, too little points used!

-----------------------------------

Curious about me week results?

This week I LOST 4.9 lbs/2.2 kg! I am very proud of myself and I think I can safely say I have broken the upward trend. The last four weeks I have lost 10.4 lbs/4.8 kg. as follows:

67. 4.9 lbs/2.2 kg loss
66. 2.6 lbs/1.2 kg loss
65. 0.9 lbs/0.4 kg GAIN
64. 3.9 lbs/1.8 kg loss

This morning I got into a very interesting discussion with the girl at check 0ut counter at the EKO Plaza ( I get my biological breakfast there). She was curious about my fitness programme - I get 5% discount when I show my membership card-, and I explained to her that I go 4 times a week. She was impressed, which always makes me feel so.......proud. She explained how she has always been underweight, and struggled with it too.

We discussed, it was early and no one in the shop, what we felt was behind it. She talked about periods of starvation because she needed security, protection. We did not discuss how starving herself would get her that. But it struck me that being underweight is just as big a problem as being overweight. Perhaps even worse. Because people only start to comment when it gets to anorexic proportions. Antything above that is "nice and slender" or even petite. And on top of that it is easier to hide in baggy clothes.

And how do you add the pounds? Start drinking cream, gobbling down donuts and bags and bags of fried foods? I don't think so! In fact I think it is just as hard even. These people are so geared to eating less, too little, that eating more, more fat, mure sugar is naturally repulsive to them. Anyways, it was an interesting conversation, and I must say a very nice woman to talk to.

It did make me think about my own need to eat. Do I actually binge, and if I do so, do I emotively eat? Well, I seldom binge; though I still catch my self at emotional eating. And sometimes because I have just eaten a whole bar of chocolate to console myself, reward myself, give me confidence, I think what the heck I might as well have another, or have fried food in the evening. One "slip up"is like a carte blanche for a whole day of slip ups. I don't think that constitutes as a true binge, does it?

BUT, I was and am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy (PARTY!), when I am sad (WOE IS ME!), lonely (NOBODY LOVES ME!), angry (WHAT THE F&%*$K!), victory (REWARD TIME!). Actually any emotion will do. In the past 15 months I have at least started to recognise the emotions and my reactions to them. I have even atrtempted and succeeded in harnassing them at times.

My pandora bracelet, to the loyal readers a recurring important feature, is my rewards system.

Quote from my blogpost on 26 june 2007

**********************************************************************************
Weight Loss Resolutions
1. every 3,5 kilo; a silver charm
2. every 8 kilo; a gold and silver charm
3. every hour on my hometrainer; a spacer, hour can build up in several days, a day of rest, I start from scratch
4. at 40 kilo; a new bracelet or necklace

**********************************************************************************

I have by now added a 2nd bracelet, and have 22 charms (and 10 more for birthdays and the like occasions) and 17 spacers. At the moment I am on hold with the charms as I gained weight in the past months. When I reach 288.4 lbs/130.8 kg, I am back on schedule. THEN I will award myself one golden charm, as it will have been ONE hard struggle, as in 22.5 lbs/10.8 kg to go!
I just realised, it means that the past 6 or 7 odd months have been a 35 lbs/16.5 kg struggle. A shame to see how much weight I gained during that time. And I was still really trying! I never really quit going to the meetings, though I did sneak off once or twice.

Short time goal set

Target: 299.8/136 kg
When: friday 12 september 2008 (wednesday 10 september 2008)
Why 1: 500 days of WW
Why 2: 3rd 10% target made
How: 11 lbs/5 kg -> 2.8 lbs/1.3 kg a week

------------------------------------

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - curd low fat (organic)
2,0 - honey
0,0 - blue berries (organic)

Lunch
3,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - tomatoes (organic)
3,0 - cracker with tomato cheese cream
3,0 - Panini - organic brown bread
2,0 - Cheese spread with hot peppers

Diner
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - basmati rice
3,0 - fish from the gril
0,0 - Peppers
1,0 - sweet sour sauce

Various
3,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - baconcrackers

470 days - peaceful day, personal challenges met

2008-08-13T09:53:00.007+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 40,0/12,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 29,0/102,0
Day´s excercise - Cycling (heavy) &Fitness: 120 + 90 minutes Activity points: 30,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Peace...........like zen...........so restful

It rained this morning, so I stayed indoors about 20 minutes longer before I went to the Gym. My programme, about an hour and 15 mins in total was like this:

Warming up 10 min (resulting in 4.5 mins at HR 141)
Tredmill 10 mins at HR 141
Cross trainer 10 mins at HR 145, 3 mins cool down to HR 114
Steam room, shower, dress, blow dry hair

As I was running late I did not do my usual muscle training, but I was extremely content with the cross trainer excercise. It is a heavy training for me, involving most major muscle groups. And where I started with an akward 3 minutes last wednesday I am now up to 10 mins at full speed. To this end I put some work out music on my telephone and pumped away. I know I have to he careful as it is a strain on my knees. But so far so good.

I also tried the skating trainer, but I have to admit I do not like it, defenitely not Willow material. The sideways motion is quite a strain on my knees, and I found I have problems getting the coordination of it down. So I sort of stumbled along like a drunk snail and stopped after 2 mins. I don't like it one bit, uh, uh! Reminds my why I am so crap at skating! On friday I will try the rowing machine, and I am curious about that on. I have an idea I may like that one.

As I left I bought some low fat curd at the bio shop, including two kiwis and enjoyed them both when I arrived at the office. I have a wonderfully peaceful feeling, I feel really good. My facial skin is improving by leaps and bounds. I would think it feels tight and dry from the sauna and steam room, but it is definitely NOT the case. In fact my facial skin feels relaxed, smooth and soft.

I have to say the benefits of fitness are more than losing weight. So much more! Tonight is weighing night and movie night. So I will be busy, busy, busy. Work will be quiet for a few more days, so I will enjoy it as long as it lasts.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
6,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - curd 0% fat
3,0 - 3 cs honey

Lunch
11,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd low fat
2,0 - 2 cs honey
6,0 - 2 wasa crackers

Diner
5,0 points (Movie time)
-------------------------------------
5,0 - hot & spicey crackers

Various
18,0 points
------------------------
4,0 - popcorn
3,0 - ballisto
11,0 - chcolate bisquits

469 days - Lots and lots of sleep

2008-08-12T09:40:00.022+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 42,0/14,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 17,0/72,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 0,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Waiting for .........tomorrow!

Yesterday I had a huge sugar craving in the evening and I guess I could have controlled it. But the point is I did not. I did not have any sugary items in the house, except for some cake decorations shaped like jungle animals. I ate them all, and they were gone in.............3 minutes! BAD willow, really bad Willow.

It did not damage my diet as I have so many excercise points saved up, and my day was a splendid day in all other ways. Although I could have had more vegetables I think. But as for "no added sugar", well that went out the window yesterday: ROYALLY!

But today is a new day, and I am doing well. My colleague just planted some birthday treats in front of me, so I will have a look as to what is wisest, a muffin or a slice of creamcake. Will report! Well, I choose the muffin, and calculated 5 points or it. Means my treat for the day has been and gone, and is now safely inside my stomach.

Well, many more treats followed, and my dinner has gone done in the shape of some cheese and ham bisquits. I can sense I am sort of trading off. "Well since you have done such a good job the rest of the week this won't matter much". How easy it is to fool yourself!

So? What does it al mean?

I have had people comment on the top part of my blogs/ Anywhere from "I just don't get it" to "I never read it". So for their benefit and anyone else who wants to read it, here goes:

Day maximum: 28,0 points

"Day Maximimum": Based on your weight, gender, age, and activity level during the day weightwatchers calculates a number of points to be used daily maximising you weightloss. As I lose weight this number drops about point every 10 kg/ 22 lbs.

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

"Day's bonus points used": This line is like a status report, how many points have I used during the day.
"Day's bonus points saved": At the end of the day I am allow to save 4 points to cover any big splurges on other days.

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/0,0

"Week´s Bonuspoints needed": this tracks the points I may have used to much during the week. It should at the end of the week ALWAYS be less than the points saved.
"Week´s Bonuspoints saved": this shows how many points I have saved during the week, and will cover the extra points used during the week. This number includes the points I have gained by doing exercise. NOTE: though you can use the points you have accumulated through exercising it is not advised. Now and then I "nibble"at them, but usually don't use them.

Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 0,0

"Day´s excercise": Here I record all points gained by excercising. I hardly ever use them, though at times when I am really hungry after excercise I do allow myself an energy bar, a currant bun or something like it. As my metabolism is at a high they will most probably burn up immediately. Weightwatchers has a handy table to calculate these points.

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

Weight Watchers goes from the premises that losing weight needs to be done HEALTHY, but also that after a person has reached their target weight that they should be equipped enough to be able to eat normal portions again without going ballistic on food denied while they were dieting.

It means that Weight Watchers does not ban any kind of food. WWers can eat anything, but our diet must contain 6 large glasses of fluid, preferably water ; 3 large handfulls of vegetables (300 grams); 2 pieces of fruit (small handfull), 2 tablespoons of fat (butter, oil, mayonaise etc.); 500 ml of non/ low fat calcium product (milk, yoghurt, curd, cheese etc.).

Each food item I eat has a points value, add them all up and make sure you stay on your daily maximum. It is a lot of counting at first but after 469 days I know most items by heart!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
8,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 slices of rye bread
1,0 - 2 cs margerine light
1,0 - 4 slices of chicken
2,5 - 250 gr. curd (0% fat) - not my own brand...a bit yeagh!
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
2,5 - 250 gr. curd (0% fat)
2,0 - tbs honey
0,0 - 2 kiwis

Diner
24,0 points
-------------------------------------
24,0 - cheese onion crackers

Various
5,0 points
------------------------
5,0 - Muffin

468 days - Olympics while I sweat

2008-08-11T10:11:00.010+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 31,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 3,0/72,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 60 minutes Activity points: 26,0
Sunday´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 40 + 60 minutes Activity points: 15,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Another week starts and I feel GRAND

I kno, I know, I know. I did not blog yesterday, for the simple reason that I was way to busy. Fitness in the morning went well. Then I had lunch at George's . Goerge is the cook to the American Ambassador in The Netherlands, so lunch at his place is a treat. Then home at 4 PM as I had a guest for dinner. I made sushi, and a salad with sweet red pepper, cumcumber ricewhine and chili peppers.

Fitness yesterday was not as active as I had hoped but for some reason my muscles ached and were tired, more so than usual. The "muscle"machines were claimed by a horde of body builders, so I decided not to make a fool of myself by doing my 'thang' there. To be honest I just did not have the gumption to do it.

So I attacked the cross trainer, the bicycle and the tredmill. I am now on 5 mins cardio training for the cross trainer which is quite an achievement. I have to admit that I can see how it can be very addictive, once you get the right rythm going, preferably to music that makes you "jam" you can really keep going. I will be doing some serious music downloading on my creative. Because I want to crank up the time to 10 minutes, and I think some music will do the trick.

I have noticed that getting my heartbeat up to 141 optimum for cardio is hard work. I can get it up to 130 with some good old fashioned legwork after about 5 mins, but the last 10 is HARD work, real hard. But I manage usually after about 8 minutes, and keep it up for about 2 minutes. yesterday and today I got on the tread mill and did 10 minutes at a good pace. It is a near run, but I keep myself from running, because I know the impact on my knees is just going to be too big. For now I stick to low impact, and will be for some time to come. I want to wait to do that untill I am under 110 kg/242 lbs.

On wednesday I may go swimming, 30 minutes or so. Have not done that yet. Eventhough I love swimming! we'll see. Today I can feel my lower back, and the tops of my hips. Today I did muscle training for my upper body. Tomorrow I will be working on my lower body, legs, stomach, hips. I have noticed a drastic difference in my facial skin. I think due to the steam room and the sauna my skin is cleaner, less infammated and has a peach like feel to it.

Basically we are talking Fitess and Wellnessin one package. I am feeling FITter, not fit yet, and very WELL. So it works. Additionally it really keeps me on the straight and narrow food wise. When I go back to my bicycle I go one extra foor down to huge health store super market, everything there is organic, and I get my cud for the morning, and if I feel like it some juice as well. Yesterday I had elderberry juice, but found out after I drank it, it had added honey to it. I am really trying to cut out added sugars. And that also includes added honey. Even if it is organic!

This week is a 5 x 8 hour week. Which is easier on my schedule. Means I can leave at 5:15 PM today. I will have a kip when I get back! Have a nice day today! Enjoy it!

Oh yes, and I had a go at the scales they have at the gym. BAD move, very bad move. I was not fazed by the weight it indicated, because it actually means I have lost weight. But it tells me my body fat mass as well..................62%! -grins- I really am a tub of lard! BUT the good thing is it will go down, so it will only get better!

------------------------------------
Breakfast
6,0 points
---------------------
3,0 - ml curd 0 % fat
3,0 - 3tbs honey

Lunch
8,0 points
--------------------
2,0 - 200 ml cranberry juice
6,0 - 2 slices biological carrotcake

Diner
5,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - salmon
0,0 - salad, cucumber, peppers
2,0 - mayonaise

Various
12,0 points
--------------------
6,0 - eierkoek (dutch pastry like object, made with eggs)
6, 0 some sort of sugar thingies (BAD, BAD WILLOW)

466 days - Count my blessings day

2008-08-09T11:44:00.028+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 26,5/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/31,0
Day´s excercise - cycling: 10 Activity points: 1,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

A day for comparisons

All comparisons below are between May 3, 2007 and August 9, 2008. There is a 466 days OR 15 months and 6 days OR 64 weeks and 3 days gap between the two dates. But it is not just days that mark the difference. Read about my story set out in simple facts about.....me.

-----------------2007.------- --- ------------ ------------2008

------------------- - . - . - --------------------. - . - . -
------------------- 380.9 lbs/172.8 kg. - - . ---------yyy--------- - 315.7lbs/143.4 kg

Upper arm -----41 cm/16.1 inch -- ----------------- -.--------hh---- 36 cm/14.2 inch
Waist ----- ---- - 150 cm/59.1. - . -ffffff-------------- -------hhf------ f138 cm/54.3 inch

Hips ------- ----- 170 cm/66.9 inch- . - . ------------ -----------hh-- - 156 cm/61.4 inch

Right thigh ---- 76 cm/29.9 inch- ------------------ ----------- --h-- 69/27.2 inch

I use much more vegetables, more fruit, I excercise MUCH more (well to be honest my only excercise then was doing my shopping), I own a brand new bicycle and go everywhere with it, I don't drink any soda which is not light, and then just a few a week, I use brown rice, pasta and bread, instead of the whate variations, I use half fat or low fat milk products. I eat very little candy, though chocalate is still my down fall. I never have crisps or dips in the house, only eat them when I am at a party.

My skin has improved, my abillity for tissue regeneration after I wound myself has increased drastically. I enjoy going out, movies, family, friends, dinner dates. I love sunshine and being outdoors, I have to be outside once a day at least. I have the stamina and strength to do serious DIY in my house, and have done up my bedroom with help from my friends!

I have more energy, do not feel beat at the end of the day, but enjoy my evenings. I sleep more and earlier. I have changed from a strictly evening and night person, to an all day person depending on the activities in the morning. I love my early mornings, a sleep sound, deep and healthy.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
7,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 rye slices of bread
0,5 - becel light margerine
1,0 - chicken
4,0 - ricepudding

Lunch
7,0 points
--------------------
2,0 - 2 rye slices of bread
0,5 - becel light margerine
1,0 - liver
0,5 - cheese spread low fat
3,0 - currantbun

Diner
3,0 points
-------------------------------------
1,0 - shrimp
1,0 - olive oil
1,0 - rice, vegetables

Various
9,0 points
------------------------

3,0 - 500 ml curd
2,0 - 2 cs honey

6,0 - 2 currantbuns

465 days - FFF day aka ME day

2008-08-08T13:28:00.010+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/30,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 120 + 90 minutes Activity points: 30,0
Accumulated Activity points: 0 points

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

------------------------------------

FFF-day

Fitness: 10 minutes warming up cycling, 15 minutes tredmil, 30 minutes of muscle training, 10 minutes 15 minutes steam room, 10 minutes sauna
Floating: 90 minutes of epson salt water, no light, no sound, no weight
Film: Wall-E and The Mummy Returns

---------------------------------

Breakfast
3,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 rye slices of bread
0,5 - becel light margerine
1,0 - chicken

Lunch
3,5 points
--------------------
2,0 - 2 rye slices of bread
0,5 - becel light margerine
1,0 - chicken
0,0 - here

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
3,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - sultana fruit of the forest
0,0 - orangejuice
0,0 - orange juice and strawberry juice

464 days

2008-08-07T10:28:00.005+02:00

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 23,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise - none: Activity points: 0,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:03
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Clean slate - aka wipes away lots and lots of WW points

I lost 2.6 lns/1.2 kg last week. But oddly enough I was not very happy. Possibly because I just threw a five week old dead bird in a rubbish bin, or bcause I had hoped for more after the fitness things I did? I really have no clue, but I feel a wee bit down.

I eat too little at the moment, basically because I have no shopping in the house. So I just eat what I have wich is very little. So tomorrow is shopping day. I have my regular friday off, and I have a floating session, go to the movies. Floating should be fun with the blister I have on my heel. will have to cover it well. Also I will do my regular 7 AM fitness session, or perhaps I will go just before the movie. Will have a think about that.

Reminder to self: DRINK water!!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
6,5 points
--------------------------------------
4,5 - rice pudding
1,0 - 1 rye sices of bread
1,0 - tomato tapenade

Lunch
7,5 points
--------------------
4,0 - 4 ryes slices of bread
3,5 - 7 slices of chicken
0,0 - mustard

Diner
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - 250 gr. potatoe
1,0 - 2 cs olive oil
0,0 - assorted vegetables
3,0 - river lobster

Various
2,5,0 points
------------------------
2,5 - curly wurly

463 days

2008-08-06T09:52:00.004+02:00

Wednesday 6 August

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 21,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 12,0/85,5
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 60 minutes Activity points: 17,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

An early bird, but no wurms!

I was up by 5 AM. Don't ask me why, but I am buzzing with energy. My little bird friend is doing just fine, and I have decided to call him/her kruimeltje/crumbs. It will be another 20 odd weeks before I can tell if it is a boy or a girl crumbs.

Cycled to fitness, nd was doing my warm up by 07:05. It is hard work to get to HR 140, but even harder to keep it going. Friday I will push myself a little further still. Did some weight resistance ecercises, and afterwards wanted to do some wlking/running, but the blister on my right heel is too raw yet. And so I hopped on the bicycle again. I finished off with sauna AND steamroom, then washed and groomed. I must say it is a joy to feel my body rev up with the "feel good" feeling. I am working on my health, my body, my stamina, and it is a treat.

at work all is extremely quiet. As I have to feed crumbs this afternoon, I will be taking half a day off today, and enjoy some sunshine. I think I will take a book and go read in some park nearby. soak up some sun. it is going to be a glorious day. That or go to the movies.....

For dinner I am thinking salmon and salad. For lunch..........no idea.Oh yes, and today I go weigh at WW. We'll see. Oddly enough I don't have a good feeling about it.

DECEASED: today at 6:45 PM my new little friend was moving around the cage. Suddenly it sort of waggled like a duck, fell over and died. Its sibling was pecked to death by its parents, and Kruimeltje was removed by the breeder before he suffered the same fate. They say nature take cares of the weak before they grow into maturity. I don't think Crumbs, just like its subling, was meant to live.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
7,0 points
--------------------------------------
5,0 - Optimel low fact peach curd
0,0 - 500 gr. frsh strawberries
2,0 - 2 tbs sugar

Lunch
4,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 rye bread
2,0 - 20 gr. tapanade tomato

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
NONE!

Various
10,0 points
------------------------
10,0 - chocolate

462 days

2008-08-05T13:21:00.010+02:00

Tuesday 2 August

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 39,0/11,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 12,0/64,5
Day´s excercise - cycling : 60 minutes Activity points: 4,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

A new guest in my house

Today I go and pick up my 5 week old Agapornis, or as they are known in English "Lovebird". he still has to be fed by hand for a week or two, three. But that will make it easier to make him quite tame. I have no clue if it is a boy or a girl, so I have been thinking about a name:

Kruimeltje/Crumbs
Dot
Ana
Timmy
Izabeau
Sylvester
Jade

This is the site photograph where I found her/him. I will post my own photograph soon.

------------------------------------

Breakfast
11,0 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 rye bread
2,0 - 10 gr. herb butter
3,0 - 500 ml curd
2,0 - 2 tbs honey

Lunch
9,0 points
--------------------
9,0 - small ready meal with tortelini, ricotta spinach and aubergine

Diner
9,0 points
-------------------------------------
1,0 - 75 gr. marinated chicken
6,0 - french fries
0,0 - beansprouts, onion, grlic
2, 0 - mayonaise

Various
10,0 points
------------------------
2,0 - small kinder chocolate bar
8,0 - 2 treacle cookies

461 days

2008-08-04T09:43:00.009+02:00

Monday 4 August

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 20,5/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints (including activity points) needed/saved: 1,0/60,8
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 26,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 4
REQUIRED 3) vegetables: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

The Euphoria still lasts...in FULL force

oh, and my RealAge is 43,6 - I just turned 44!

After a strange kind of night, sort of half wake half deep sleep state, I got up at 6 AM. Whenever I know I wish to be up at an early time, it so pre occupies my mind that I am almost reluctant to sleep. I had breakfast and cycled to the Gym. I took a sauna and steambath today, after 1 hour of fitness. I can feel it in my legs as I worked on those today, abductors and adductors hips, leg press. and some 30 minutes of cardio, trying to bring my HR to 140. But this week I will stick to 130 for now.

I must say after getting through my first inhibitions, it was wonderful to experience the steambath and the sauna. Both were HOT, HOT, HOT! and the cold shower after was really MURDER. I feel good, though muscles protest, and the blister on my right foot is not a happy bunny experience.

My food intake is exemplary. Feeling good about yourself in my case means being good to myself; doing the right thing, the fun thing, the challenging thing I realise. Fitness for instance is to me EXTEREMELY challenging, it is not easy, but it IS fun.

I was reading, FINALLY, some of my fellow blogger's blogs and ~stumbled~ on Half man's 10% chart. Weight watchers teaches us that 10% loss in weight had GREAT benefits to heart, bloodpressure, and diabetes. So he made a 10 % list. He went back and figured out his 10% body weight loss marks. He took his starting weight and subtracting 10%. Then he subtracted 10% of that, and so on down to his goal weight. It gives him some more benchmarks.

I have decided to do so too, from now on you will find them on the left somewhere. And for once BELOW:

1. 381.0 lbs - 172.8 kg reached!
2. 342.9 lbs - 155.8 kg reached!
3. 308.6 lbs - 140.0 kg
4. 277.7 lbs - 126.0 kg
5. 249.9 lbs - 113.4 kg
6. 225.0 lb - 102.0 kg
7. 198.4 lbs - 90.0 kg

------------------------------------

Breakfast
3,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 2 slices currantbread
0,5 - linera butter
1,0 - sirop de poire (peartreacle)

Lunch
6,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - salad, tomato cucumber
2,0 - 2 slices currantbread
4,0 - smoked salmon
0,0 - fruit (400 gr)

Diner
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
3,0 - unlimited portion curd
2,0 - 2 rye sandwiches
2,0 - 10 gr. butter

Various
4,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - 0% organic curd
1, 0 - honey

460 days

2008-08-03T16:29:00.011+02:00

Sunday 3 August

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 29,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 1,0/30,8
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 22,5
Accumulated Activity points: 8 points

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Not sure what I can say....

Today was my first day EVER in a gym. It was..................FANTASTIC. I have no shape, I have problems even doing a 2 mile pace on a tredmill, But what the heck. I put in a total of 90 minutes of fitness, including a warm up, 1 hour 10 minutets of Cardio, and a cool down.

There is no need to put any braincells to work for now,b ecause the machines do it all for me. I enter my weight, my age, the kind of program I want, and it monitors my heart rate and my progress. All it requires from me is just to GET MOVIN'.

I tried out the treadmill, the treadclimber, bicycle, and crosstrainer. I like the treadmill best, but the tread climber is fun too. The cross trainer is hard work with my weight, and is actually a hard excercise from a coordination perspective. But as I understand it it is a mix between cycling and running without the impact on your knees. Which is good for me.
The bicycle is easy actually. with all the cycling I do it is not that hard. All these machines are state of the art, and I enjoyed the euphoria of actually working up a sweat, and believe me, I DID. I have never seen my arms work up a swet, but this time they did. Watching others as I do my "thang" going so much faster and longer is quite a thrill for me. Sort of a glimpse intio my future?

For now I have worked out the following schedule (these include dressing etc. 20 mins)

1. Mon 07:00-08:45 AM - 1:45 mins (cardio & muscles)
leg press 40 kg (target: 60kg) (2 sets of 15)
leg abductor 45kg (target: 70kg) (2 sets of 15) TIGHTEN ABDOMINALS!
glute 20kg (target: 35kg) (2 sets of 15)
back ex 35kg (target: 50kg) (2 sets of 15)
2. Wed 04:45/05:45-06:30/07:00 PM - 1:45/1:30 mins (cardio)
3. Fri 07:00-08:45 AM - 1:45 mins (cardio) & muscles
crunch 20lg(target: 35kg) (3 sets of 30)
leg curl 20kg (target: 35kg) (2 sets of 15)
chest press 10 kg (target: 15kg) (2 sets of 15)
lat pull 20kg (target: 30kg) (2 sets of 15)
4. Sun 09:00-11:00 AM - 2:00 mins (cardio & swimming & sauna)
triceps 3kg (target: 5kg) (2 sets of 15)
biceps 5 kg (target: 7,5kg) (2 sets of 15)
torso 18 kg (target: 25kg) (2 sets of 15)
hamstring 18 kg (target: 25kg ) (2 sets of 15)

And I have been doing some websearching on some of the excercises I hope to do tomorrow.

1. Leg press

Sit into the leg press and get stabilized; have your feet up on the sled, bring your feet outside hip width apart. Lean back so that your back and your spine is nice and flat again the seat and make sure that your hip is nice and snug into the corner. Then go ahead and release the sled, bring it down, bring your knees towards each shoulder specifically and then I want you to exhale, pull your belly button in and push the sled away and push into your heels, drive the sled all the way up and then take another inhale as you bring the sled back down. Try to relax your neck and your shoulders as much as possible, really feel that your focus point is your pelvis with contact point of the seat and just keep driving and working with your legs. Go for two of 15 for the first 8 weeks just to get your body conditioned. When you finish your set, go ahead take a 30 second break before you begin the second set.

2. Leg abductors

Helps give lateral support and overall it adds to conditioning for your body and stability and will be necessary in progressing to other exercises. Have a seat so that your pelvis will touch the back of the seat. Make sure that your legs are out nice and long so that you don't feel cramped. Select a weight that is appropriate. Bring your hands down by your side, hold onto the handles, exhale, pull your belly button in towards your spine and you open your knees and your feet out to the side. Work smoothly and work as wide as you can. It's very important to work with your abdominals tightening each time, it'll add support to your obliques and also to the muscles that will work for stability in other exercises.

All of this keeps me focused on my eating as well. I believe my motivation has been kickstarted again. It is easier to do the right thing, eat the right thing. I am not yet saying it is easy, but certainly easier!-keeps fingers very much crossed- Thank you for all your support. Who would have thought, Me, ONCE 360 LBS GIRL, doing ftness in a Gym!! Me!! YAY!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
3,0 points (no added sugar)
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 3 currant loaf slices

Lunch
8,0 points
--------------------
4, 0 -4 currant loaf slice
4,0 - 1 scoop Ben & Jerry

Diner
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
5,0 - 1250 gr. smoked salmon
2,0 - 200 gr. salad, cucumber, peppers , avaocado

Various
0,0 points
------------------------

457 days

2008-07-31T10:22:00.003+02:00

Thursday 31 July

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 29,0/1,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved (including activity points) : 1,0/13,5
Day´s excercise - cycling : 90 minutes Activity points: 13,5

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Another one of them there hot days!

It is hot and muggy. Humidity is through the roof, and I am glad whenever I am on my bicycle happily peddling along. Today I have some extra peddling to do. I am picking up a birdcage on the other side of town, then home to drop it off and then to the pizzeria to have a bite toe at with Fred. before that I go back to the Gym to settle the last administrative issues. I am so looking forward reallty starting. Any good tips and advice are very welcome! I am TOTAL excercise novice, well..................except for some volleyball and swimming when I was young. I LOVE swimming!

I have only one goal for this week: no added sugar/or sweetner. Which is challenge enough! I am very prone to using what I call "dust sweetner" in my smoothies and my desserts. And I also have my light drinks now and then, and my light products here and there. I won't be having any of those this week. I wish to get rid of this sugar imbalance in my blood which drives me to eating simply because a it makes me hungry. It means I will have to ween off the Australian Ice cream as well! Horror and Shock, can I live without Australian?

-grins- Of course I can! WATCH ME! And it is true, I feel my motivation bubbling inside. I am drinking my water again, and can stay away from chocolate in the supermarket! I do so hope I gave it a new impulse! again any pet talk or advice is MOST welcome.

In general, I would love to get to know "my" readers (better)! So I will make you a swop, leave me a message and I will send you a GREAT recipe for a healthy Fish dish made in a jiffy to amaze all your friends!

Note after the fact: I had one magnum and one magnum like ice cream. Not good, but I don't bthink it will do much damage. I cycled for 1.5 hourse in near 90 F/30 C, and my points were not enough for a whole day. however sugarlass day this was NOT!

------------------------------------

Breakfast
2,0 points (no added sugar)
--------------------------------------
smoothie
1,0 - blue berries, mango, banana
1,0- 2 dl skimmed milk

Lunch
4,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - 200 gr. salad, cucumber, peppers
3,0 - smoked chicken
1,0 - 2 tbs mayo light

Diner
8,0 points (Italian food -estimation-)
-------------------------------------
6,0 - grilled veal large salade, no oil
0,0 - 3 coca cola light
2,0 - crusted bread and herbbutter

Various
15,0 points
------------------------
11, 0 - 2 magnums
4,0 - after work wine nibbles

456 days - 65 weeks

2008-07-30T21:57:00.012+02:00

Wednesday 30 July
~a day of reflection~

The heat and my weight

Today I gainedf 1 lbs. Now I know that I am retaining fluids like mad. I can feel it happening, and with the humidity and the temperatures as high as they are, rings do not fit, my bras are tight, and I feel like a balloon. But not to worry. I feel good overall, and have taken a very big positive step to give a major new impulse to my efforts.

I HAVE JOINED A GYM/SPORT SCHOOL/FITNESSCLUB. For years I have been telling myself those places are not for the fat and ugly, they are too expensive and ony fashion crazed women and vain muscle packed men parade there. Well, it was time to see if my prejudices were true.

Let me however state first, the adjective "ugly" I dropped years ago. I like my looks, they are me, and the please myself and others. People find me nice to look at, I make them feel good as a person. And THAT is enough for me. As for fat....well, it is just a word. And there are many variations to it, obese, overweight, lardy, pudgy, voloptuous, round, filled out, and I am sure you can name a few yourself. I don't care much which word people use as it al refer to the same thing, the amount of bodyfat they believe I should lose. Says nothing about what I feel, or think! I myself know I am overweight, it is a fact, and I mean to get rid of it.

As for the gym? It was a revelation. It is now 6 months old, and lots and lots of chairs, benches, weights, bicycles, tredmills, the works, rowingmachines, contraptions I have no idea of what they do, or what they are called, A sauna, a swimmingpool, lovely spacious dressing rooms, showers, and much much more. Lots of classes, like body pump, body shape, body balance, RPM, Body jet, aquarobic, spinning, body attack, ABS attack, body step, body combat. Lots and lots of terms which still have to be explained.

I am aiming for low impact excercising for now, maybe some walking, NOT running, on the tredmill, some cardio work outs and some muscle training. Oh yes, and swimming, and sauna. I can see it all happening! It has fired up my motivation and I feel GOOD. Most of all because I have conquered one of those old myths which I created myself. Fitness is just for the slim!

My intake will be somewhere next week, so I will keep you posted!

455 days

2008-07-11T07:22:00.009+02:00

Tuesday 29 July

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 26,5/4,5
Day´s excercise - cycling : 60 minutes Activity points: 3,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 3
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:1
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2

------------------------------------

Self analysis

Question is "How am I doing"? Answer, really? I don't know. I am in limbo land. Motivation has gone missing in action, and the pounds I lose one week are back on again the next week. So I guess analysing things. I am losing confidence in my ability to make a positive change.Last week I lost 3.9 lbs, the week before I gained 9.9 lbs, which I had lost the week before, 10.6 lbs. More than anything I wish to break free of the jo jo effect. But I am having serious trouble doing.

I know all of this sounds dismal. But in truth is is not. Recognising what ails me is the frst step to conquerring it. One other step is to find out why I am I losing confidence. And I think I know the answer to that one as well. There is one aspect in my life I just cannot seem to controll and it is bugging the hell out of me. I am a grown, sane, intelligent woman, and still I get the idea something is horribly wrong and has been that way for years now. What that is? Well, it is of such nature that this once I am going to leave all of you guessing. And no it is not drugs or alchohol..................

Food wise, one day is better than another. I seem to be muddling along. lacking in nutrients sometimes to make up for excesses of the day. NOT GOOD! I know. For instanceI took a machine made hot chocolate this morning. And why? The temperarture outside is near 25 degrees, the brew is horribly sweet and has no nutrients in it! So I guess I am feeding an emotion more than my body. I keep telling people I am doing alright, and I truly believe that, but there is that sharp edge to all of this which I just know can cut me real bad, and I will have trouble recuperating if I alllow it to.

I am curious if I have lost weight again this week. It has not been a bad week. Eventhough I celebrated my birthday on saturday with my relatives. Had a lovely fishdish with very little fat count to it, an olive soup, and a very rich dessert (white chocolate croissant pudding). The rest of my days have been very reasonable. The odd ice cream here and there. The heat does funny things to me.Yesterday I had a lovely rice dish with fish and spicey tomato and yoghurt sauce, dessert was fresh fruit and curd lightly frozen. I find that whenever I just cook a meal and enjoy the creative element of cooking healthy I am doing alright. It is when I start pecking things go wrong. I have developed quite a need for sugar, and it crops up now and then.

All in all a pretty horrid story, NON? However one thing I do need to say. it is the loyal and very lovely and wonderful people who keep posting which yank me back to this blog time and time again. And the trick seems to be blogging every day. It focuses me. The trick is, actually doing it!And le voila, I AM doing it! So give me strength.....................!

1 year 70 days

2008-07-10T10:44:00.007+02:00

Thursday 10 July

Day maximum: 28,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 27,0/1,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/7,0
Day´s excercise - cycling & walking : 90 minutes Activity points: 6,0

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

------------------------------------

I had planned to blog here today and give a recount of how many pounds I gained over the last 10 or so weeks. But that is counter productive, and not very wise taking into a account how I have been feeling of late. Motivation is an elusive butterfly, and I have been unable to draw its attention.

I am confident I will pick up the thread again. And have set an in between goal: I want to be 128 KG/284 lbs or less on september 13th. This week was a good wek. But I was fed up with the wishy washy way things have been going and all I seem to do was gain weight instead of losing it.

This week I lost 10.6 lbs/4.8 kg. And my next short time goal is to LOSE weight next week, Any amount and I will be happy, but I am going for at last 1 lb. I want to break the up-down trend and go into a "downward" spin again. It will be week 2 in sucession. To help me I have done several things.

1. I have acquired a water coach; a small device that lets me rEgister how much water I did drink, and beeps every 2 hours if I have not entered(drank) water. And it woRks. It is a small beep but very annoying. Drives my colleagues up the wall and makes me snap to attention.
2. I will focus on the three tips below.
3. Make sure I get enough excercise a day (at least one hour)

It is still not 100% motivation, but for now it will have to do. I am struggling to regain it, and have been procrastinating on uodating my blog, writing down my intake of food. Also I have neglected some of my fellow bloggers who are extremely loyal. Because still a lot of people read my blog. It is quite amazing. So I will spend time on reading blogs in the weeks to come and try to be as loyal as many are to my blog.

Hope to hear from you all soon!

------------------------------------

Week 60: 3 focus points

1. Try the 3-hour rule
"The secret to losing weight comes down to keeping your metabolism alive and active," according to fitness guru Jorge Cruise, author of "The 3-Hour Diet." How do you do that? By eating every 3 hours, give or take 10 to 20 minutes, he says, which translates to three moderate meals with three snacks (100 calories each) between meals. Though other experts say there's nothing magic about 3-hour intervals, eating small, frequent, portion-controlled meals and snacks can keep your blood sugar level steady, your energy up, and keep you from overindulging.

2. Be an early bird
Eat the most food earlier in the day, says Elisabetta Politi, nutrition manager at Duke Diet and Fitness Center, Duke University's successful weight-management center. "Many dieters try to trim calories from their break-fast and lunch and then get hungry," she says. "Research shows the calories you eat earlier in the day help you eat less at night" -- a good idea since you probably won't be active after an evening meal.

3. Fill up on fiber
Crowd out calorie-dense foods by ratcheting up on fruits and veggies. "Start by eating one more serving of fruit and one more vegetable a day," says Donald Hensrud, MD, a Mayo Clinic nutrition specialist. Hitting that midafternoon slump? Reach for carrots -- the carbs will give you a lift. Not only does munching on nature's bounty become a good habit, but it'll also help you tap into dozens of disease-fighting phytochemicals and vitamins. The biggest fiber bulker-upper: beans. Just a cup of black beans nets you nearly 15 grams of filling fiber.

******************************************

Breakfast
8,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 - 200 ml vanilla yoghurt optimel
0,0 - fresh fruit
2,0 - ricebar
4,0 - 2 frusili's

Lunch
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 p - fruit
3,0 p - 500 ml curd
2,0 p - 2 cs gingersyrup
2 currantslices

Diner
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd
0,0 - sweetner
3,0 - 25 gr prawncrackers

Diversen
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
6,0 - currantslices

1 year 50 days

2008-06-20T06:59:00.003+02:00

Friday 20 June

11:17 PM

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/0,0
Day´s excercise: 60 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:0

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

The Magic word, MOTIVATION

Breakfast
6,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 300 ml. skimmed milk
4,0 - 50 gr. muesli

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - Tuna
0,0 - salad, tomato, pepper

Diner 0,0 points
-------------------------------------

Various
0,0 points
------------------------

1 year, 19 days

2008-05-06T18:04:00.005+02:00

Tuesday 20 May

11:17 PM

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/0,0
Day´s excercise: 60 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

Stop counting, loose ground

As simple as that. I don't count points any more. I just guess. And that is soooooooo wrong. The only thing I cannot do is stop caring, because I do. But I can tell you I have veered off the path completely. And why, I just don't know. Many of my WW friends at the club have stopped. Our mail group is dying and all in all it is a dismal state of affairs.

But I will not give in. It may be a mess right now. But every day is a day to go on weher I left off! Today is such a day. I started out with enough sleep, skimmed yoghurt and fruit, and some motivation.

Will report further as I go along!

Breakfast
3,0 points
--------------------------------------
2,0 - 250 ml. 0% curd
0,0 - fruit (blueberries & mano)
0,0 - lemon juice
1,0 - 20 gr. all bran

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------

Diner 0,0 points
-------------------------------------

Various
0,0 points
------------------------

1 year, 4 days - Redecorating and holiday antics

2008-05-05T11:24:00.024+02:00

Sunday 5 May

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

My blog evolves, grows up

This blog started as a blog to relay the trails and tribulations of loosing weight. THAT will not change. However I feel I have evolved into a Health Watcher; which goes beyond mere Weight Watching. And so as my eating regime is just, though a major, part of my life, and also just, though a major, part of this blog.

From time to time I will tell you more of my every day life. What I notice foremost is how much more active I am. I enjoy cycling so much, and find that I can do several "activities" in a day with having to rest in between.

Today I had guests for dinner, went cycling and visited a nearby sea resort (small one), and did some DIY in my bedroom which is really coming along. All of this in the company of my two of my most loyal friends, Ali and Margreet. So meet the gang!

Meet Me, Ali and Margreet - and our respective feet Margreet, Ali, me

We call ourselves the three muskettets, and have been solid friends for some 10 years or more, the last 5 to 6 years we meet up regularly, have dinner together and watch movies at home. This last year we have started to go to the cinema on fridays, and eat out.

We phone eachother regularly and talk about the horrors of work, friends, and running a household. Ali is like me single, and like me happy to be so. Margreet is married with a Polish gentleman and every time she tells me of the wonderful world of married life I remember why it is I am so happy on my own!

This sunday was also rememberance day in Holland, may 4th. A wonderful sunny day, worthy of honoring those who died due to the stupidity of intolerance, hatered, racism, bigotry....in short conflict/war. We had planned to cycle for a while but sort of got side tracked at the ebacj reasort nearby......about 15 minutes cycling. We had something to drink, as well as an ice cream, and sta on a bench in the sun for an hour or so. Then we hit the shops.

Meet Margreet and Ali in brand new outfit at my place and at the beach resort looking all sunny and stuff

Our view from the bench we were sitting on, spending a lovely time commenting on other people's clothes

I did not buy any clothes. I feel it is a waste of money as I will not be able to use them next year anyways. So while Ali and Margreet bought new outfits, I fell in love with a beautiful African lady in green. She is now standing in my window sill. Ali bought her sister, wearing a red outfit.

I fell in love with her, isn't she gorgeous?

Redocorating a bedroom, MY BEDROOM

Getting active

The ladies-a-painting

Before AND after

Before................midways.....................and,

after!

Day 366 - ONE YEAR of Weight/Health Watching

2008-05-01T09:18:00.003+02:00

This is a two post day, make sure you read next one below or click here,
all on the celebration of Queen's day in Holland as well!

Thursday 1 May

09:17 AM

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 0,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/1,5
Day´s excercise: 00 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 0
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:0

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

This is a two post day, make sure you read next one, all on the celebration of Queen's day in Holland as well!

Day 366 - LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! (cont'd)

2008-05-01T07:58:00.008+02:00

Thursday 1 May

08:17 AM

Long live the Queen (cont'd)

Well yesterday was a grand day! A day worthy of our Queen. In the morning I watched the queen on TV at Margreet's place, visiting two Frisian cities. Then we went to the Frederik Hendrik straat, better know as the "Fred". A long long street with lots of shops, most of which are closed on Queen's day), where people just "plunk" down all they wish to sell. Here we walked past all kinds of stuff, perusing, commenting, buying, haggling for about 3.5 hours. Midway we enjoyed a cup of tomato soup, shared one piece of carrotcake between us, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Fortunately what started out as a wet and drizzling day, turned out to be a day with little or no rain. Lots of people about, a lovely way to spend our natonal holidays. As we were about to leave to go home, it started to pour down with rain, the one single large cloudburst that day. We took shelter somewhere, waited for 15 minutes, and then as the rain almost stopped we cycled back. The sun even peeked out now and then, and I arrived at Margreet's house with all my treasures. We watched Core and Ocean's Eleven, had tea and japanese crisps (too darn many!). And I went home at 10:30 PM.

I find I enjoy spending time outside. I make conscious choices o go out and cycle, visit people. With less of me to "drag" out, there is more of me to enjoy! -grins-

Below you will find some photographs to illustrate the day.

Trash or Treasure ?

One man´s trash on the street, a treasure throve for me and hundreds and hundreds of others. There is food, drink, and lots and lots of things to look at. Things I would never let into mny house, or even in my trashbin. And indeed some items I took home. A list for you all:

1. DVD "Core" (price 1 euro)
2. DVD " Alexander" (Price 2 euro)

3. DVD " Emma" (Price 2 euro)

4. DVD "Ocean's Eleven" (Price 4 euro)

5. DVD "Ciske de Rat" and "Op hoop van Zege" (Price 2 euro)

6. DVD "Red Dragon" (Price 1,50 euro)

7. DVD "George and the Dragon" (Price 1 euro)

8. Villeroy & Boch Crystal bowl (Price 4 euro)

9. Miniture flower arrangement on quail's egg - orchids (Price 2,50 euro)
10. Miniture flower arrangement on quail's egg - crocus (Price 2,50 euro)

11. Green glass and silver filligrain necklace (price 1,00 Euro - needed some minor repair, done myself)

12. Single layer rhinestone (strass) necklace, perfect for eveningwear (Price 1,00 euro)

13. Crochet rucksack, formal wear/summer attire (Price 1,50 euro)

14. Pietro Erbacci Leather bag (Price 1,00 euro)

15. Wooden photoframe/photo folder (Price 2,0 euro)

What do you think about my nose for a "good buy"?

a real perfect state Pietro Erbacci Leather bag for 1 euro!

These two eggs are a real find, you can see by the size of my thunbnail how small and delicate the flowers are on top of the eggs. real craftsmanship by someone calle bianca )was on the back of one of the eggs

All my treasures bought , anothers trash sold - beautiful glass and silver necklace

Day 365 - LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!

2008-04-30T08:46:00.006+02:00

Wednesday 30 April

09:17 PM

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 25,5/1,5

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/1,5
Day´s excercise: 00 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

Long live Queen Beatrix

Today is Queens day! We celebrate the duty and honor our queen pays us, thankful for her efforts, her excellence, her expertise, every second of her days. To many outside of our small but regal country, she is the face of the Netherlands, or Holland as many, even the Dutch, call it colloquially.

It is a public holday, when free enterprise with the margins of the law, allows all people to go out and enjoy themselves. It is a day where children and adults go out into the streets, enjoy the festivities, the food, the drinks, the sun if possible, and in general a day where we feel we are one nation, one people under the red, white and blue flag of our democracy.

Holland turns into one big flea market. Any one who wishes can sell anything legal in the street. It is endearing to see children seling their old toys and books. And surpriseing to see the creative ways people have devised to earn a euro. They play music, sell home made cookies, sell their old furniture, home knitted scarfs, patchwork, jewellery, trinkets and in general trash. But as they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I still own and use a glass butterdish, which I bought some 14 years ago on queen's day, for 25 cents every day!

People look forward to Queen's day because it is a day off, but laso, and moreso because it is OUR day! Queens day is orinally the birthday of Queen Juliana. She was dubbed "the Mother if the Nation"; a warm, kind motherly type of queen. When her daughter, Princess Beatrix ascended the throne, she decreed that enceforth the 30 april was to be Queen's day, in cebration of her mother and the monarch of The Netherlands (regardless of the present queen's birthday). And so on the 0th April, every year...WE CELBRATE!

And so on the 30th april, ONE day before my 1 year annivesary of a new and healthy life I offer you a history lesson (borrowed from wikipedia) on The Netherlands.

Oh and as to why all of this is in orange?
It is the national color, as our kings and queens are decendants of the house of Orange.

and .........even Google pays homage to our Queen on Queen's day!

History lesson on The Netherlands

The Netherlands is a geographically low-lying and densely populated country. It is popularly known for its traditional windmills, tulips, cheese, clogs (wooden shoes), delftware and gouda pottery, for its bicycles, its dikes and surge barriers, and, on the other hand, traditional values and civil virtues such as its classic social tolerance. But primarily, the Netherlands is a modern, advanced and open society. An old parliamentary democracy, the country is more recently known for its rather liberal policies toward recreational drugs, prostitution, homosexuality, abortion, and euthanasia. The Netherlands is also one of the most densely cabled countries in the world; its internet connection rate is 87.8%, the 2nd highest in the world.

The Netherlands has an international outlook; among other affiliations the country is a founding member of the European Union (EU), NATO, the OECD, and has signed the Kyoto protocol. Along with Belgium and Luxembourg, the Netherlands is one of three member nations of the Benelux economic union. The country is host to five international(ised) courts: the Permanent Court of Arbitration, the International Court of Justice, the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia, the International Criminal Court and the Special Tribunal for Lebanon. All of these courts (except the Special Tribunal for Lebanon), as well as the EU's criminal intelligence agency (Europol), are situated in The Hague, which has led to the city being referred to as "the world's legal capital."

A remarkable aspect of the Netherlands is its flatness. Hilly landscapes can be found only in the south-eastern tip of the country on the foothills of the Ardennes, the central part and where the glaciers pushed up several hilly ridges such as the Hondsrug in Drenthe, the stuwwallen (push moraines) near Arnhem and Nijmegen, Salland, Twente and the Utrechtse Heuvelrug.

The Kingdom of The Netherlands

In 1795 the last stadtholder William V of Orange fled to England. His son returned to the Netherlands in 1813 to become William I of the Netherlands, Sovereign Prince of the Netherlands. On March 16, 1815 the Sovereign Prince became King of the Netherlands.

In 1815 the Congress of Vienna formed the United Kingdom of the Netherlands, by expanding the Netherlands with Belgium in order to create a strong country on the northern border of France. In addition, William became hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg. The Congress of Vienna gave Luxembourg to William personally in exchange for his German possessions, Nassau-Dillenburg, Siegen, Hadamar and Diez.

Belgium rebelled and gained independence in 1830, while the personal union between Luxembourg and the Netherlands was severed in 1890, when King William III of the Netherlands died with no surviving male heirs. Ascendancy laws prevented his daughter Queen Wilhelmina from becoming the next Grand Duchess. Therefore the throne of Luxembourg passed over from the House of Orange-Nassau to the House of Nassau-Weilburg, another branch of the House of Nassau.

-grins- and so ends the History lesson!

As for my day it has started well. My favorite curd and fruit, getting ready for a day of fun and dutch national pride. I will report back, I promise! Oh..........-grins and adds quickly- I will do my darnest to stick to the healthy stuff! I will start by drinking a liter of water!

Breakfast
4,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - pineapple and Mango
1,0 - 1 tbs dry oats

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------------------------

Diner
0,0 points
--------------------------------------

Various
0,0 points
--------------------------------------

T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs
Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs

Day 364 - Thankful

2008-04-29T06:42:00.005+02:00

Tuesday 29 April

11:17 PM

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 25,5/1,5

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/1,5
Day´s excercise: 00 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

Weightloss 2.2 lbs

Yesterday was a small triumph, I have lost 1 kg/2.2 lbs. Or so I think. I cannot rightly recollect how much I weighed two weeks ago. I did not have my litte weight watchers card with me, I am sort if guessing. I have two figures in my head, and if the worst comes to the worst, it is more even, 1.4 kg/3 lbs.

When I decided to go to weigh in not on a wednesday (as it is a public holiday and there is nine) but on a monday, I made a wise decision. Regardless of losing weight or not, I keeps me focused, and every day I feel I am more on track. Today I went out to dinner with friends, and reisisted all temptations, had almost all of my dietary needs. The only thing I in the end did not have to requirements was my water.

The only thing I still want to get back on track fully is my walking. I do too little of it. I cycle every work day about 50 to 60 minutes to and from work, but I still want to do my walking. WIth things at work getting back to normalcy, I will do my wakking again after or be fore work. Or even if the new secretary wants to join me, during lunch. We could do a power walk through the park. I think I prefer that much most of all. It will get me out of the office, into the fresh air and combine it with some excercise.

I will report back on that notion. May ai for this week, is to get back to at least three times a week, and a miminum of 30 minutes excercise a day. So no cycling to work means powerwalk somewhere during the day!

I have sort of fallen inlove with a healthy item of food: 500 gr./1.1 lbs of organic no fat curd from the farm; mix it with fruit of my choice, some sweetner if I really want it; sometimes I use syrup, sometimes the artificial stuff, and sometimes nothing, add a tablespoonfull of dry oats for fiber, and I have a grand breakfast or very quick and easy lunch. It fills to caoacity, and is only 4 points. It provides me with my dietary intake of calcium, fruit and a helping of fiber. In short, healthy, nutricious and incredibly delicious. This curd I found, mixed with some sweeter, some lemon juice makes for a delightful replacement of whipped cream with cakes, fruit, or all kinds of desserts!

Well time to sleep. Tomorrow is queens day. LONG LIVE QUEEN BEATRIX OF HOLLAND!

Breakfast
4,5 points
--------------------------------------
4,0 - 2 small eggs (free farm)
0,5 - 1 cs mayo light
0,0 - 2 tomatoes

Lunch
5,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - pineapple and kiwi
2,0 - syrup

Diner 5,0 points (Italian Restaurant - estimated)
-------------------------------------
10,0 - Salad and omelet (2 eggs)

Various
6,0 points
------------------------
3,0 - 3 chocolates
1,0 - 3 liquorice
2,0 - crisps 25 gr.

T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs
Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs

Day 363 - back on track an struggling

2008-04-28T11:11:00.007+02:00

Monday 28 April Summary

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 23,5/4,5

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 8,0/8,0
Day´s excercise cycling: 50 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 k

Nearly a week back on track

This weekend was not a bad one. Except for saturday evening after I came back from visiting my brother, which became a major disaster. I walked into the supermarket at the station for some healthy food, and walked out with oreos and chocolate brownies. BAD, BAD, BAD Willow! I enjoyed them, though I must say I scoffed them down as if someone was going to take them from me by force.

I have been trying very hard, drinking my water, making sure I have my breakfast, and my lunch, not focusing too much on diner. I have been going out three evenings this week! I had sashimi one evening, and omelet with mushrooms on the other two evenings. At my brother's place I had paella, and in the afternoon some japanese crisps. In all I have been "out" a lot, and have still managed to keep in gear with my healthy eating habits. For now it is what I try and focus on most of all. Trying to get the rythmn back again, not focusing too much on the scale.

I AM going to weightwatchers this week. But may be going tonight, I find the later time of 07:30 PM hard to manage. There is a meeting on monday 06:30 PM which fits into my schedule much more easily. I will miss my coach, but as it is too often I find I just "dont go". When I do go, I decide to stay at the office till 07:00 PM, and as I usually start at 08:00 AM and don't stop working till I leave at 07:00 PM, my work day is just too long!

AND one of the things which really makes me trip up is working too long wth too little attention to myself. As such I AM going to weight watchers tonight, eventhough I dread the outcome. But you never know it may serve as a new incentive!

Breakfast
14,0 points
--------------------------------------
14,0 - Waldorf salad

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
2,5 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - raspberries
2,0 - syrup

Diner 5,0 points (estimated, not weighed)
-------------------------------------
3,0 - rice and muesli
2,0 - Milk skimmed

Various
0,0 points
------------------------

T0tal weightloss 67,9,1 lbs
Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs

Day 357 - Yesterday, a good day, today an even better day!

2008-04-24T12:28:00.004+02:00

Thursday 24 April Summary

Day maximum: 20,0 points
Days excercise: 0,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 20,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise cycling: 00 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 67,9,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2550 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 k

Yesterday, a good day, today an even better day!

Less time in planning ahead (solution: I plan my breakfas NOW)
Less time in shopping
Less time to actually sit down and eat (Done, done and done)
Less time to refelect on what it is I am doing
Less time for my excercise (solution: I cycle to work and home every day)

Breakfast
5,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 3 slices of rye bread
0,5 - 2 slices of chicken
0,5 - butter light
1,0 - 1 cs applejelly and 6 easpberries

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
2,5 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - raspberries
2,0 - 2 small slices of nutbread

Diner 10,0 points (italian restaurant)
-------------------------------------
6,0 - 2 eggs, mushrooms
0,0 - salade of tomato, cucumber, lettuce
2,0 - 2 slices of french bread with herb butter
2,0 - butter to prepare the eggs

Various
6,0 points
------------------------
2,0 - 2 chocolates (sugar free)
1,0 - 1 cookie (sugarfree)
3,0 - 3 slices nutbread

Day 357 - Angry, disappointed and losing grip?

2008-04-23T20:13:00.007+02:00

Wednesday 23 April Summary

Day maximum: 22,0 points
Days excercise: 5,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 22,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/0,0
Day´s excercise cycling: 60 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 67,9,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2550 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

How the mighty fall!

A month now of too much work, to much hiding and too much chocolate, fat, cake, cookies..........you name it and I have gorged on it. I have come to the point where I am angry at myself. Every morning I start with the promise, no more, no more straying from the path. But as the day progresses, lunchtime nears and I have/take no time to lunch, but just keep on working. Then when I do take time, usually when I go home after a 10 hour day, I buy food to comsole myself...........Chocolate.

And you know, NOT keeping my blog is another way of facilitating that behaviour. As I do not have to confront myself with what I am doing. I do not even care all that much if readers read about my 'fuck ups",a s long as I do not have to do it, I can make myself believe it is not that bad. Well, believe me it is! Let me show you. And spell it out.

I now weigh 141,5 kg/311.9 lbs, this is an increase of 17.4 lbs/7.9 kg!

I will go from there again. It is a setback, but I wil not allow it to make me quit. Today I gave myself a proper talking to, and most importantly I have started to write here again. I am so very very touched by all you who kept commenting. Believe I did read them, each and every one of them. Every time they made me see what I was doing was not good, for my health my self esteem, and my weight.

Then why am I blogging again?

Well, a simple reason, I could see the added weight. I could feel the added weight and I hated it. Also at work people commented on nots eeing me eat my famous salads any more. Also in general I have noticed that eating muesli in the morning too often makes me constipated, AND makes for a to great a food intake in the morning, restricting my intake in the afternoon or evening. Or ..............so I think, because if I just have the salade as I always did, breakfast and lunch even out.

Today was a good day. I even have chocolates in my bag (for a farewell coffee at the office), which I ahave not and will not touch before tomorrow

The list I made a month ago still stands, and I will tackle each and every one of them.

Less time in planning ahead (solution: I plan my breakfas NOW)
Less time in shopping
Less time to actually sit down and eat
Less time to refelect on what it is I am doing
Less time for my excercise (solution: I cycle to work and home every day)

Breakfast
2,5 points
--------------------------------------
2,5 - Icecream home made of 0% yoghurt (100 ml), chocolate milk light (150 ml) and banana (half)

Lunch
5,5 points
--------------------
2,5 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - raspberries
3,0 - 3 small slices of nutbread

Diner 12,0 points (italian restaurant)
-------------------------------------
6,0 - 2 eggs, mushrooms
0,0 - salade of tomato, cucumber, lettuce
2,0 - 10 olives
2,0 - 2 slices of french bread with herb butter
2,0 - butter to prepare the eggs

Various
2,0 points
------------------------
1,0 - 1 rye bread
1,0 - Apple jelly
0,0 - raspberries

Day 321 - Still here, not losing track, still loosing weight! (weightloss 1.5 lbs/0.7 kg)

2008-03-18T06:21:00.004+01:00

Tuesday 18 March Summary

Day maximum: 27,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 5,5/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/0,0
Day´s excercise: 0 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:1

(T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2490 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 k

MANIC WAVE

Thank you all for asking after me, wondering about me, worrying about me! No, I am still here, I am still sticking to my healthy lifestyle and still loosing weight. Small little lumps of fat are dissolving still. I would wish it to go fatster, don't we all!

Sticking to the healthy eating regime is not necessarily harder, but more challenging *grins* - which of cours is the same-. At the moment my social obligations AND my work sort of gobble me up.

Result:

Less time in planning ahead
Less time in shopping
Less time to actually sit down and eat
Less time to refelect on what it is I am doing
Less time to exercise

Realisation

As I write this down I realise that none of this is very good. I am the one causing it, I am the one in charge of it! And I am the one who should do something about it!

A -smaller- list of remedies.

Work no more than 40 hours
Do NOT stuff my calender with social things, makes conscious choices
Take time to lunch at work!

And of course the top one is the most rewarding one, the bottom one the hardest one to stick to. I tend to work like a diesel engine and just keep on puffing and puffing. And the result, I make mistakes. Last week a HUGE mistake! Biggest one in my career. And it still affects me, as I think it affects my company too. Oh no losses in income or that kind of thing, just a dent in their reputation. And I hate that fact, the fact that it was me who caused it; THAT is just not me. Anyways, the damage has been contained, and everything is on the right track again.

But it does teach me, I cannot keep on working, and working and expect to have no adverse effect at some point.

Healthwise I drink too little, and the effect................BLOCKAGE. I think we all know THAT problem. It has been overcome this time as well, but any worse and I was in serious SSSSSH...........*laughs* never mind, You know what I mean. Hence, I now have a 2 liter can on my desk wich I dustifully fill every morning, and do my utmost to empty it by the end of the day. At the office there is a 1 liter container on my desk, which I also attempt to empty.

WW and HW

As you see, every day is one for realisation, My meanderings along Weight Watcher AND Health Watcher land are still continueing. I have reset some of the goals for this year, as I have only know gotten back to the weight I was before christmas. The Aodd 18 lbs/8 Kg I gained over the holiday moth was a price I had to pay for dearly. This week I hope to get closer still to the 286 lbs/130 Kg mark, by next week I wish to break through it! As things stand I will be able to make it into the two digit mark by the end of this year (218 lbs/99 kg). A challenging goal worth some 2,2 lbs/0.5 kg a week.

Oh yes, and I am rereading Dr. Phil AGAIN.......................

QUESTION TO ALL
Any other books worth reading on Healthy living and thinking? Not really about loosing weight, that one to me is a side effect! Just leave me a comment.

Breakfast
5,5 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - Muesli
1,5- skimmed milk
1,0 - 1 tbs raisins

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------

Diner 0,0 points
-------------------------------------

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - 1 apple, 2 tangerines

Day 317 Movie night ----> 27 Dresses! weightloss 2.0 lbs/0.9 kg

2008-03-07T17:08:00.003+01:00

Friday 29 february Summary

Day maximum: 27,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 17,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise: 0 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2490 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 k

Breakfast
6,5 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - Muesli
1,5- skimmed milk
1,0 - 1 tbs raisins
1,0 - 1 tbs honey

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
2,5- 100 gr. cheese 20% fat
2,0 - bag of crisps WW

Diner 11,0 points
-------------------------------------

Various
6,0 points
------------------------
4,0 - 2 glasses of orange juice
2,0 - 1 bag of crisps WW

Day 310 Girls Evening!

2008-02-29T14:26:00.001+01:00

Friday 29 february Summary

Day maximum: 27,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 22,0/0,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise: 0 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 6
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2490 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

Breakfast
5,5 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 1 slice of Dark Rye bread
2,5- 25 gr. cheese 25%

Lunch
4,5 points
--------------------
4,5 - 150 gr. Sushi
0,0 - apple

Diner 12,0 points
-------------------------------------
5,0 - Risotto parmigiano
6,0 - salmonsteak
1,0 - tomato and basil salad

Various
0,0 points
------------------------

Day 309 (WeigtGAIN 1.3 lbs)

2008-02-28T20:24:00.003+01:00

Thursday 28 february Summary

Day maximum: 27,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 20,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved:0,0/4,0
Day´s excercise: 100 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 5
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:3
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 70,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2490 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

An upward struggle, but getting somewhere. Because in the midst gaining some weight and nasty family matters I find I am aware that I AM an emotional eater and try to contain it. Additionally I have also grasped by now.....*laughs* after the odd 8 months........ that when I am tired I tend to console myself with food.

In part I feel this is because it is easier to buy some chocolates and wipped cream, or donuts and milk, or crisps and dip, as no great amount of work is involved in preparing and eating. Just rip open the package and EAT! But also because sweets stuff foremost quenches the diabolical need for bloodsugar. Very probably my bs levels are at an all time low by then, not taking enough time to eat and replenish them to a normal level, they drop and drop and drop, making me tired and sugar crazed!

Today I did not give in. eof walking into the shop and realizing it would be next to impossible to withstand all the sweet stuff, I went home and worked with what I had in the fridge and cupboards. And I had a stir fry with brown rice, fish and vegetables. Now how does that sound? I was content, happy and very proud of myself!

Breakfast
6,0 points
--------------------------------------
4,0 - 200 gr. cottage cheese
0,0 - 100 gr. mango
1,0 - 2 tbs dried fruit
1,0 - 1 tbs Maltsyrup

Lunch
0,5 points
--------------------
0,5 - 1o0 gr. curd 0%
0,0 - 100 gr. pineapple, mango etc.

Diner 9,5 points
-------------------------------------
1,0 - 1 cs sesame oil
0,0 - onion, gralic, mushrooms
3,0 - surimi, shrimp (unlimited)
3, 0 - 150 gr brown rice
2,5 - 45 gr. chhese 20 %

Various
4,0 points
------------------------
4,0 - 40 gr. crisps