Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 9,0/0,0
Day´s excercise - cycling &Fitness: 60 + 90 minutes Activity points: 4,0
(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 2
(REQUIRED 3) vegetables:0
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0
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I should be, but I am not content
WATCH OUT Willow ranting, feeling sorry for herself
Just close this window and look for my post tomorrow if you are not in the mood for it
Weigh in showed I lost 1.8 lbs, and I am not happy. I know I should be, and it is ungrateful not to be. But well it sort of hits me that if I lose 1.8 lbs a week, it will take another 61 weeks. *BIG SIGH*
FLIPPIN' SIXTY ONE WEEKS!!
That would make it 22 September 2009. Today it seems like there is no end to it. I am feeling low, blue, and dishearted. Does not mean I will not stop my efforts. not in the least. But today my enthousiasm is suffering.
If I take a look at the last 5 weeks, I lost 12.4 lbs, in that way it will be 45 weeks.
a little less flippin' forty one weeks
That would make it June 3, 2009. One day before my birthday. which is 2.7 lbs a week.
I know, I know I am getting number crazy. Nearly 500 days, and I today I am sort of fed up. Not with the adjustment in food or excercise, but just the whole package. I guess today more than any other in a long time I want to be like other people, other women. And I am going to say it, though I know people will react fiercely.........I want to be pretty! Yes pretty according to shallow stupid advertisement standards.
I want to be pretty, attractive, alluring, sexy, a vamp, a babe, a seductress,
Behind that remark is a whole world, wrapped in tears, self incriminations and heartache. The pain of a non rational woman, just a feeling woman. And in 99.9% of my days, hours, minutes, she does not show, well wrapped and hidden inside. BUT she is there and I am not going to spare you that part of me. Though I suspect some/most of you recognise that feeling.
Comments are welcome, but be kind, or I will hit back hard! -smiles wryly-
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Breakfast
4,5 points
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2,0 - 4 craquottes
2,5 - cheesespread 10% fat
Lunch
4,5 points
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4,5 - sushi
Diner
0,0 points
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0,0 - here
0,0 - here
Various
0,0 points
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0,0 - here
6 comments:
I'm with you... sometimes it feels as if I am dieting for ever and I'm still fat. I have months of not being able to kick my butt. If I am lucky I stay around the weight I had when demotivation struck, but often I find I gain a lot of weight. And of course it always takes much longer to get rid of it...
But I *am* thinner, after years of getting fatter and fatter. I feel better, I can do more things - and I know I can do this. I just have to work and get the motivation back. So sometimes I give myself a break and try to just keep the current weight for a few weeks.
Calculating how long it will take is really really demotivating. I try to stop myself, and to look at what I allready lost. I can loose weight faster, but I'd have to be really strict. And I know myself; if I'm really strict I can be a good girl for a few monts, but inevitably the moment will come that I feel sorry for myself, want to comfort myself and will start to eat and drink everything I denied myself for so long.
So now I take my time, I'm not too harsh, I drink and eat the things I really like but compensate more and balance better. For us even keeping our weight is something to be proud of!
Oh, and for a complete change in conversation: I have all our books (well, about 1/3 now, but I *will* have all our books in librarything. Username dutchmarbel:
http://www.librarything.com/catalog.php?view=dutchmarbel
OH, Willow... Here I am, your cheerleader!!!! You know, you have been doing an amazing job of finding new ways to inspire yourself (and us) on this journey we are taking together. And as frustrated as you might be at the moment, I believe I may have you beat in that department. I have wobbled back and forth with the same 6 lbs for the last month! There doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason for this plateau - but then there rarely ARE reasons. I know that plateaus are your body's way of catching up with the changes you've made and once the adjustment has been made, you can make progress downward again. The problem is that it's hard not to get done in by the plateau itself and give up and begin stuffing your face whenever you feel like it. BELIEVE ME - I have struggled with this myself recently.
Sadness doesn't help. I know you miss your fur baby, but you're still here. Enjoy the fur baby you still have - and maybe get another one? or try for another bird? Whatever you decide, do it for you.
Hang in there!!!
Hey girl, wait till tomorrow, then you'll get a big hug from me. Hang in there
I think most of us feel this way Willow. Fat does distort our looks and we all want to feel beautiful and to be seen as beautiful.
Believe me when I say that your photos show the kind of beauty you are talking about emerging slowly like a butterfly from a cocoon. I can't wait to see you without your protective shell.
It is annoying that it takes so long and I think it is healthy to voice your frustrations and disappointments ... better than eating over them.
So cry, rage, shout, scream, blog and keep doing what you are doing because one year from now you DO NOT want to be in the same place or worse.
(((Hugs)))
I feel for you, as I have experienced the same thing. I found it helpful to go back to the beginning and reflect on the acheivments rather than the low points. You have done an amazing job so far, 61 weeks seems such a long time but really it will come around quickly. Chin up and big hugs to you.
I definitely agree with dutchmarbel. Calculating weight loss, and doing averages and "best possible" alternatives can be hugely demotivating. In saying that, though, I still do it myself :D But yeah, weight loss doesn't conform to hypotheticals.
You're doing hugely well, and all you can do is take it a day at a time :)
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