I procrastinate.............and in losing weight I would say I done so for the last 25 years. Once in a while the little flame inside me that lights the "diet motivation fire" flickers and makes me feel guilty. But show me something nice to eat, and I'll ignore it with ease.
Happy, sad, angry, tired, irritated, driven, lazy...every emotion is linked to food. In that I am like millions of people. It is a remnant from my childhood, a happy one, where I lacked nothing, except the realisation by my parents that a fat daughter was not a good thing. BUT having said that, there comes a point when pointing the finger at others, read parents, is a petty gesture, one of a coward who will not admit that from the age of 18ish I was strong, wise, and adult enough to change the nasty habit of using food to cope with everyday life.
And so I am now on day 3. Not yet brave enough to admit here how much I weigh, but lets just say to darn flippin' much. I am very much beyond the 100 kilo mark that I can say. For the last 6 months or so the thought of doing the healthy thing, changing my dietary intake, and losing weight at the same time, has been on my mind. And last Wednesday 2 may 2007 I attended a Weight Watcher's meeting in my home town of The Hague. I had been there before, some 9 years ago, but from what I remember I was not as motivated as I am now. This blog is part of the motivation "thang"; sharing the experience with strangers on line.
Now let it be noted, I am NOT an unhappy woman. Quite the contrary, I have much of what I would wish in my life, and what I do not have is still attainable and possible. So life is good, very good. Having said that, I have no stamina, have problems lacing my shoes, summers make me sweat like an otter, and buying clothes is a drag. In short I am overweight, too much body fat encases me. And it has to go! The only one who can do that is me. And so here it is, my Blogger Willowishesless, less weight that is.
Now as for the heading of this little confession: "Day three - 5 beads" , what is all that about? I have been lusting to buy myself a pandora bracelet. It is the modern equivalent to the old fashioned charm bracelet. A simple stunningly beautiful silver (or gold) bracelet, which can take up to 25 charms - silver, silver/gold, adorned with gemstones, glass -. I bought one, deciding it could be an incentive to start my diet regime. And so I wear a silver bracelet, with 5 charms; my astrological sign, Gemini; a little dolphin curled around the silver Pandora bracelet cord; a small tea cup and saucer, I do so love my tea; a four leaf closer, for luck, lost of luck; and in the middle a small gift package with an adoring bow on top of it.
These past three days, day in, day out, the weight of the bracelet reminds me of the promise I made to myself to eat healthy, and loose weight. When I shop and I reach out to take something out of a rack or off a shelve, the motion of the bracelet and beads on my wrist reminds me again. It is a quiet watchdog that I only take off to shower. Every 3,5 kilo's I lose allows me to buy a new charm. You will find them proudly featured on this blogger as time progresses.
So far the hardest thing I find, is not eating after 8 PM. I am so used to keep my jaws moving every minute of the day. And even though I do that now too, but now with healthy things, eating after 8 PM is a no no-no matter what I wish to put in my mouth. I did transgress, I had four of those baby tomatoes. I think my stomach can deal with that, digestion wise.
How often you will find me posting? I don't know, I don't make promises other than that I will succeed this time!
Beddybye time for me, enjoy your food, don't overeat yourself!
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