Thursday, 29 July 2010

Giving up...

I am so close to giving fact have I not given up already? I have gained a lot of weight, and am struggling to even see the road. There are however some small anchors still keeping me semi grounded to the cause. What makes me sad most of all, is not the gained weight, let's face it I am used to it. But moreso the fact that I really believed I could change my life, my ways, only to learn that I may be able to it, but have in fact NOT.

The small anchors- both positive and negative?
  • still going to weight watchers. Not every week, but I am still going.
  • friends who keep being in terested
  • remembering how good it felt to lug around less weight
  • having thrown away all clothes way too big for me, noticing the clothes I have now are ill fitting, and in fact some do not fit anymore!
  • being healthy is important to me.
  • Looking "fat" again, and I do not want that!
  • still working out, less but still 4-5 times a week
Yesterday I went to weight watchers for the first time in 4 weeks . I had LOST 0.5 lb. Not much at all, but the important fact was I HAD lost weight,and had not been to a weigh in for 4 weeks; because believe me I can gain 15 lbs in such a period, and have in fact done so.

SO, in short I am on the cross keep going and view this as a learbing curve, or just stop and work to accept the fact that I am a product of my childhood and past, and cannot change.

This is in fact a cry for help........

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