Day 357 - Angry, disappointed and losing grip?

Wednesday 23 April Summary

Day maximum: 22,0 points
Days excercise: 5,0 points

Day´s Bonuspoints used/saved: 22,0/4,0

Week´s Bonuspoints needed/saved: 0,0/0,0
Day´s excercise cycling: 60 minutes

(REQUIRED 6) water/tea: 8
REQUIRED 3) vegetables:2
(REQUIRED 2) fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2) fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium:2

(T0tal weightloss 67,9,1 lbs) Next Pandora charm at 92.6 lbs
(Total exercise: 2550 minutes) Next Pandora spacer at 2570 min
Pandora bracelets (2): 22 Charms & 12 Spacers

(my UNIQUE Pandora reward system, read about it here and here)

Goal 4: 1st centennial - loose 100 lbs/45 kg

How the mighty fall!

A month now of too much work, to much hiding and too much chocolate, fat, cake, cookies..........you name it and I have gorged on it. I have come to the point where I am angry at myself. Every morning I start with the promise, no more, no more straying from the path. But as the day progresses, lunchtime nears and I have/take no time to lunch, but just keep on working. Then when I do take time, usually when I go home after a 10 hour day, I buy food to comsole myself...........Chocolate.

And you know, NOT keeping my blog is another way of facilitating that behaviour. As I do not have to confront myself with what I am doing. I do not even care all that much if readers read about my 'fuck ups",a s long as I do not have to do it, I can make myself believe it is not that bad. Well, believe me it is! Let me show you. And spell it out.

I now weigh 141,5 kg/311.9 lbs, this is an increase of 17.4 lbs/7.9 kg!

I will go from there again. It is a setback, but I wil not allow it to make me quit. Today I gave myself a proper talking to, and most importantly I have started to write here again. I am so very very touched by all you who kept commenting. Believe I did read them, each and every one of them. Every time they made me see what I was doing was not good, for my health my self esteem, and my weight.

Then why am I blogging again?

Well, a simple reason, I could see the added weight. I could feel the added weight and I hated it. Also at work people commented on nots eeing me eat my famous salads any more. Also in general I have noticed that eating muesli in the morning too often makes me constipated, AND makes for a to great a food intake in the morning, restricting my intake in the afternoon or evening. Or ..............so I think, because if I just have the salade as I always did, breakfast and lunch even out.

Today was a good day. I even have chocolates in my bag (for a farewell coffee at the office), which I ahave not and will not touch before tomorrow

The list I made a month ago still stands, and I will tackle each and every one of them.

• Less time in planning ahead (solution: I plan my breakfas NOW)
• Less time in shopping
• Less time to actually sit down and eat
• Less time to refelect on what it is I am doing
• Less time for my excercise (solution: I cycle to work and home every day)

Breakfast
2,5 points
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2,5 - Icecream home made of 0% yoghurt (100 ml), chocolate milk light (150 ml) and banana (half)

Lunch
5,5 points
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2,5 - 500 gr. 0% curd
0,0 - raspberries
3,0 - 3 small slices of nutbread

Diner 12,0 points (italian restaurant)
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6,0 - 2 eggs, mushrooms
0,0 - salade of tomato, cucumber, lettuce
2,0 - 10 olives
2,0 - 2 slices of french bread with herb butter
2,0 - butter to prepare the eggs

Various
2,0 points
------------------------
1,0 - 1 rye bread
1,0 - Apple jelly
0,0 - raspberries