Friday 26 September 2008

513 WW & 54 FF days - A day from hell.........!

Recipe: a chairman with a head cold, a lady requiring first aid, and blogger with little sleep and a theatre visit.

This morning Fitness; but I did not get much sleep last night. I had a very interesting conversation with my best friend. Digging deep into our souls, hearts and psyches, finding fears, needs and mutual qualifications for future partners. -grins- I feel sorry for any future partners for either of us. These people should be near fantastic and/or perfect. Honestly I doubt they exist. But all of this resulted in a 3.5 hour intense discussion, most enjoyable, and in a way exhillerating. As a result I could not sleep right away, so I went to bed at near 3 PM. I allowed myself some 2.5 hours of sleep, and dragged my butt out of bed to go to the fitness. AND I actually felt like going even as tired as I was.

I did 15 minutes of cycling, my lack of sleep evident i the slow oace, and the near impossible task of getting my heart rate up to 115. I choose a programme called "Mont Blanc"means you gradually climb to the top, and then gradually descend; 115 kcal. Picking up the pace, this was followed by a treadclimber session of 20 mins at 3.5 km/hr 2mls/hr; 285 kcal. To be topped off by 20 mins of cross training, of wich I did about 8 mins without holding the handsupports (yay for me); 255 kcal. The last part I did to the great songs of Trijntje Oosterhuis, and the songs and lyrics of Stevie wonder. All of this totals 655 kcal.

Foodwise I am doing good. Some yoghurt, some milk, some dark dark chocolate, min tea and honey. So what is lacking is vegetables, fruit. I will be sure to make up on that today.

As for men and being ill, or getting a cold? My at present "headcolded"chairman is taxing at the best of days, but today he really iced the cake. With the stock exchange plummeting, and bacteria having a field day wth him he choose to take it out on practically every one. Me included. Time for me to step outside, take a few deep breaths, wipe away some tears of frustration, walk back in and try to have a rational discussion. Near impossible, but I am proud to say I stood my ground as far as is was possible.

The man is an immovable force, with a firm belief in his own infallabillity. The non perfect state of people such as me is a defect, not a perfectly acceptable fact for any human. If I would take this serious I WOULD blame myself for a mistake made, and give myself a firm thrashing *ahem*. As it is I accepted the scolding, but not the cursing and the over the top incriminations.

The trick is of course to regain composure and even regain my good mood. View the confrontation as just that, and not a full fledged war which it resembled. Leave it behind me, and continue with the more imporatnt facts of the day. Such as: FLOWERS for me!

Why? Yesterday we, read the chairman, had a guest for a meeting. The woman had taken a bad fall at Amsterdam station, but determined to keep the appointment kept going untill she was at our office. With a large wound on her knee, pantyhose ruined, painful shoulder, badle scraped handpalms, and a sprained ankle she looked quite dishevelled. I tended to her wounds and put a bandage on her ankle, applying some make shift genius on her shoe with rubber bands to keep it on her foot (there was no way the strap would fit) and cleaned her hands. And so today I got a huge bunch of flowers, really thoughtful. And with that in mind, the bad mood of my chairman becomes quite trivial. I will make a photograph of the flower and post them here later!

Tonight I am going to an amateur play in the theatre where Ali features in one of the leading parts. I hope to God I do not fall asleep! I am curius to see how she does. All in all a healthy slightly unnerving day, and it is only half way. And you know, I just realised something! usually a day like this one and the alteraction with the chairman would have made me binge on everything and anything which is bad/non healthy for me. In huge quantaties trying to console myself. Not anymore, the piece of chocolate I had was too small to call it comfort food, and it was biological, and 70% dark!

Emotion eating has always been a big issue for me. Let's face it, any emotion and I had a reason to treat or console myself. As they say in dutch "if a fart had lodged itself crooked up my arse"I had a reason to commiserate. Anything would go. Well, NOT this time!

HAH!

Thursday 25 September 2008

512 WW & 53 FF days - a good week despite marginal weightgain

And the results are..... 0.6 lbs weigtgain.


It has been a good week, excercise was good and intense, food was well dosed, though somewhat lacking in fruit and vegetable. Both will be a point of attention for this week. Today is sushi for dinner with a friend, lunch with a colleague. So the latter will be a simple salad and some juice, the first is home made sushi, so it is all in my hand.

Apples for this afternoon as a snack. This morning rye bread with datesyrup for breakfast I promised some one to come up with a weeks worth of planning. I think it was Candee (My Weight Loss Journey). So I have my work cut put for me *grins*

This morning I still feel bloated, and not sure why. But I have confidence that given some attetion to the problem, it will all show itself next on the scales. Ever since the disaster wednesday some 4 weeks ago, I am trying to adopt another reasoning towards the scales. I try to go by my own conscience. The question being have I tried my best, not what do the scales tell me.

Sounds good to you? To me it does, and it makes me feel much more relaxed. I hope I can adopt this permenantly, and not just this moment. Now there is a challenge!


Wednesday 24 September 2008

511 WW & 52 FF days -

Weigh in day

I feel big, a bit bloated. Ever had such a day? It has been a good week, but as I fitnessed on monday morning and will not go untill this afternoon, I am missing the feel good vibe! I actually look forward to my work out. And I have to stop myself not to overdo it. I keep wanting to go days in between, and catch myself thinking "I wish I had my work out gear with me, I could put in an hour or so"? May be I should start bringing it with me to work as a standard? Or have a full set at the office?

That sounds a bit.......odd, doesn't it?

I was readings half man's blog, and his epic triathlon story. I was in awe, I reread it three times at least, gobbling it up like mad. Deep down inside I want to achieve something like that as well. But I am not that big a believer in myself, YET! But let's face it I NEVER in my wildest dream would have ever thought me a fitness person. So miracles can happen! And if it is up to me, they will happen!

----------------------------

Sayre gave my ego a boost not so long ago and I do wish to mention it here. It is kind of odd how close you can feel to people at times, even if you have never met them before. Sayre is one of them! Below is her commendation for me. But above all it made me proud to be in a small group with 3 special people. Sayre is right! They inspire me every day, make me feel better, and keep me on course.


Struggling with weightloss isn't usually seen as a joy, but sharing the journey with amazing people certainly is. Nona and Willow and Half-Man and Kim Ayres have been my sounding board, my policemen and my inspiration. We all struggle with this weight issue, but it's so much nicer when you can share.

Tuesday 23 September 2008

510 WW & 51 FF days

Halloween Challenge

Spidey challenged a bunch of us:

Join us at the HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE!
THE WITCHES' EVE WILL SEE US FINALLY GET IT TOGETHER!!!!
Lose weight or lose your soul!

I will take the bait, sets a solid in-between target for 01-01-2009 when I want to be 129 kg/284.3 lbs. OK here goes:

weight 09-01-2008: 141.3 kg/311.5 lbs
weight 09-03-2008: 142.0 kg/313.0 lbs
weight 09-10-2008: 140.6 kg/310.0 lbs
weight 09-17-2008: 138.6 kg/305.5 lbs

By 11-30-2008 I aim to have lost 6.8 kg/15lbs and weigh 134,5 kg/296.5 lbs

Thursday 18 September 2008

505 WW (weight watchers) & 46 FF (fitness first) days - Going down!

And the results are.....

A quick post, real quick. I will try and make up for it soon! Yesterday's weigh in showed a 4.4 lbs/2.0 kg reduction in weight and believe me it is all fat and more as my muscle weight has gone up meanwhile. I have officially broken through the 140 kg/309 lbs mark!! YES.

My next stop? Less that 300 lbs/136.1 kg. The next one? 45 kg/110 lbs weightloss, or on weight numbers: 127,5 kg/281 lbs.

Yesterday just before the weigh in I went to the gym as well. It was hard, I will say that. My muscles are still "tired". But I did enjoy the challenge very much. Going there as often as I do, people are starting to recognise me. That in itself is fun. ME, a regular at the gym. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever think that.

My excercise for the day:

20 mins cycling - 140 kcal
20 mins tredclimbing -240 kcal
18 mins cross training - 210 kcal
58 mins TOTAL EXCERCISE -> 590 kcal

Thank you for all your support!


Tuesday 16 September 2008

503 WW & 44 FF days - Muscle pain -> WHooohoo I have muscles!

Three days beyond 500 Weight Watcher's days

Last night I received an official complaint. The muscles at the top of my hips near my lower back, as well as the muscles at the top of my upper legs near my knees are a wee bit.......affected. So to answer all of your questions: Did I stop? Heck NO!

BUT, I really was not happy two weeks ago. I really really felt cheated. Doing all that work and sticking to my healthy eating regime, and gaining weight! Dammit to heck! All your wonderful posts did help. And of course I know it not as simple as 2-1=1. So many factors play a part and I will never know what it was that made me gain that weight. All I know is I tried my best. And that is the thing I should remember, right?

For my cinqcentenntial anniversary I have decided the following. I will not post my eatingschedule any more. people have commentexd It just does not make any sense to them and it is frankly.........ver uninteresting, UNLESS youuse Weightwatchers too. I will still write for myself, but no longer post it here.

GOOD NEWS, WE NEED GOOD NEWS!

Good news was and is that by now I like the excercising so much that I just go regardless. And I have even upped the calorie burn. I am now to 1000+, kcal that is IF time allows because to do that I need about 3 hours, which includes training, cool down, steam room, relaxing and getting home. I try and do this twice a week on monday and sunday, and the other two times I stick to a 600+ kcal regime. It works well, and eventhough I have some muscle pain now, I feel good and content.

I have found out I am competative. Whenever I work out with friends I want to go higher, further, deeper and longer. As a result of always having logged around a lot of body weight my muscles are used to intese and heavy work, BUT as I found out they are not very good at the fast and fusious work outs. Give me a stairclimber with a lot of resistance and I am fine, I will keep on grunting untill I have done the minutes, ask me to burn a set amount of calories on a bicycle at low resistance and I fail. I am not good at the speed things, I get out of breath and even bored.

After yesterday's work put cycling to work this morning was a bit of a challenge, and slower than usual. And I could feel the strain in my upper legs. -grins- I was glad that several traffic lights forced me to stop and wait, giving me some slight repose.

Foodwise I am sticking to eating healthy, BUT also making sure I eat enough! With all this excercise the WW numbers need to be stretched considerably. So I eat more carbs, and try and eat even more vegetables. It proves hard, but I am doing my utmost not to grab the sweet stuff. On the 1000+ days I use up almost 2/3 of what WW advises me to eat, on 600+ days about half of the WW daily intake. So all in all I use up 2.5 days worth of more calories in a week. I would like them ALL to come out of my fat reserves, but it does not work that way really. So eat I more just to keep the motor going effectively.

Oh yes and there is good news as well, Last week, one week after my personal deepest disillusion I lost the weight I had gained the week before. This week I hope to get through the 140 KG/308 lbs barrier. I have been struggling with that one for a while. For christmas this year I have set a a challenging goal, well I think so at least, 129 kg/285 lbs. This means I want to lose 11kg/23 lbs in 14 weeks. This is 1.7 lbs a week. I promised myself to adjust this if it proves too challenging.

Tomorrow is my weigh in again. I will keep you all posted.

Oh, and as for my excercise regime:

28 min cycling -> 220 kcal
42 min tredclimbing ->560 kcal
22 mins Cross training -> 260 kal
8 mins walk (cool down) -> 50 kcal

100 mins -> 1090 kcal

Thursday 4 September 2008

491 FF & 32 F days - Big fat liar

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 0,0/0,0 /0,0
(REQUIRED 6)
water/tea: 0
(REQUIRED 3)
vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2)
fruit: 0
(REQUIRED 2)
fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 0

------------------------------------

WEIGH IN: I gained 3 LBS

WIth all my big words of being a health watcher, not a weight watcher, I know now I am liar. The weight gain hit hard, very hard. I am disillusioned, sad, angry, disgusted with myself, and so close to giving up. It all makes no difference. in the last 2 weeks, which have been 2 weeks of healthy eating, geared towards losing weight, but also 2 weeks of fitness, geared to losing weight I have actually managed to GAIN 4 lbs.

Chances are you will see me drop off for a while while I battle my biggest enemy, ME, and try to call upon my biggest hero, ME again. My way of dealing with ME is to close off, to close to door behind me and search my soul, fight my battles, lick my wounds and return as if nothing went on behind closed doors.

I'll be back!

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Breakfast
16,0 points
--------------------------------------
10,0 - 2 pieces of pizza
2,0 - rice
3,0 - half an avocado
1, 0 - mayo light
0,0 - mustard

Lunch
7,0 points
--------------------
3,0 - 1 ounce of ham
4,0 - 100 gr. cheese spread light

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
--------------------

Tuesday 2 September 2008

489 W & 30 F days - Finding my stride!

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved: 8,5/0,0 /0,0
(REQUIRED 6)
water/tea: 4
(REQUIRED 3)
vegetables: 0
(REQUIRED 2)
fruit: 1
(REQUIRED 2)
fat: 0
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2


------------------------------------

Daily stats and health watching versus weight watching

Yesterday evening I felt fine, not tired, not aching, just fine. So I decided to go to the gym this morning as well. That will make 4 straight day in a row as I will be going tomorrow as well. I really like the excercise, the feeling it gives me. It is quite exhillarating.

This morning I signed on to view my blog and I found 5 comments on my post. It felt so good to see all your encouraging words. This was minutes before I left for the gym at 06:30 AM, and it really gave me a boost. And I was already feeling super. I am trying to let go of this weight loss notion, ie "I am not doing a good job if I do not lose weight", and keep on going on the route I am on now. I feel better, stronger, and I do notice body changes.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I will see what the flippin' scales say. But this is for all of you supporting me:


Daily total: 504 kcal
82 kcal: 15 minutes of cycling (HR 105)
160 kcal: 15 minutes of power walking (HR 115)
272 kcal: 20 minutes of cross training (HR 118)
5 minutes steam room
5 minutes sauna

------------------------------------

Breakfast
8,5 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml curd
3.0 - 3 tbs blue berry syrup
2,5 - 250 ml semi skinned milk

Lunch
0,0 points
--------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Diner
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 - here
0,0 - here

Various
0,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - 1 tangerine

Monday 1 September 2008

488 WW & 29 F days, taking a different road

Day maximum: 27,0 points
Bonuspoints used/saved/week's total saved:33,0/0,0 /6,0
(REQUIRED 6)
water/tea: 5
(REQUIRED 3)
vegetables: 0.5
(REQUIRED 2)
fruit: 2
(REQUIRED 2)
fat: 2
(REQUIRED 2) calcium: 2


------------------------------------

From cardio to fatburning

Yesterday the scales showed me I gained weight again. However going into the details of it, I lost 5 lbs of fat, and gained 7 lbs of muscle, So I have decided to purposely bring down my fitness efforts, aka my heartrate. I now do my excercises at fat burning level, anywhere between 114 and 121 H(eart)R(ate).

I am getting stronger, and I can actually manage 20 minutes on the cross trainer. And what is more about 3 times today a sort of euphoria hit me, my skin started to tingle, and it was like I sort of ........it is so hard to explain.........I sort of went beyond myself. It was the oddest sensation I have had so far. Nothing like just being happy, tired, content, relaxed. A sort of physical "high" may be?

180 kcal: 20 minutes of cycling
140 kcal: 20 minutes of power walking
250 kcal: 20 minutes of cross training
5 minutes steam room
5 minutes sauna

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Breakfast
8,0 points
--------------------------------------
3,0 - 500 ml low fat curd
2,0 - 2 tbs blue berry syrup
3,0 - sultana yofruit bar

Lunch
9,0 points
--------------------
5,0 - 6 crackers
4,0 - linera cheesespread

Diner
6,0 points
-------------------------------------
6,0 - sushi

Various
10,0 points
------------------------
0,0 - beauty juice (organic, guave, banana, lime, and cactus)
8,0 - 8 chocolates

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